As I stepped out into this January 25th mist whose background was a heavy gray curtain, I was nearly startled by the single splash of bright blue. Then there were two, then three! Our resident bluebirds seemed to be making a statement; “looking for spring? See me.” Perched midway up our electric pole guidewire, bird #1 draped in fog, resembled the barrelman of a ship’s crow’s nest.
He soon joined two more atop the garden posts. Singing a song, words left to my imagination, they seemed to be guiding us through the midst of winter’s gloom. Their low pitched warble, certainly not in tune with the gloomy day, may well have been, “keep the faith, watch for it….spring is coming”. Okay, at least to me, those were the phrases being sung this day.
Per avianreportcom, “Indigo bunting, blue grosbeaks, blue jays, and of course, bluebirds don’t have any blue pigment. Their feathers perform the trick of selective light scattering that we see as blue.”… “Depending on the angle and intensity of light hitting these tine bubbles in bluebird feathers, the resulting blue can vary from a dark color to the vivid deep blue we see in ideal light conditions.”
Other factors play into the degree of blue; some being nutrition, molting, and the observer’s angle. This blue is called a ‘structural color’.
It isn’t the scientific explanation that gives me such pleasure. The thrill is their beautiful profile, and the amazing streak of blue in flight; by whatever means the great Creator, Jehovah God, put these thrilling swoops of azure, cerulean or sky blue into my life.
My daughter and I were commenting this morning on the 50 degree change in one week’s time, and I have no doubt these feathered friends were having a similar conversation. It seemed the bluebirds had emerged from a quiet haven, hidden from our recent single digit temperatures, as well as we.
Perhaps we need these few things to keep hope alive in times of dark uncertainty; the right angle, a friend or two with tiny bubbles of encouragement, a song to sing, and ‘selective light scattering’ as we share enlightening words from God. “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” Psalms 119:105 NKJV
We are promised, and I believe, that if our angle as we look into life is from the path of following Jesus, we “will have the light of life.” (John 8:12)
I am so very thankful for the blessings of light; bluebirds, the Bible, seasons and sight.
Watching (for another couple months) for spring, Trisha
With a blissful nothing on my calendar, mid-morning in my pjs, and a third cup of coffee, I am thankful – so thankful, for all blessings. Today, my favorite day of the year, the day after Christmas, holds the blessing of time – time to reflect and appreciate the gift of people in my life. Even with the sadness of those no longer here, I’m grateful for their presence in Christmases past. I look at the presence and presents as well, of those who share life with me now, and wonder, how could I be SO blessed?! I’m also thankful for hope of next year; maybe if I try, try, try, I can spend time more efficiently, be a better gifter, and be a planning pro – oh well, one can hope. For starters, I will drop the vision of an elaborate awe-catching Christmas cake! Why do I do that to myself when all they want is a Cherry-O-Cream Cheese Delight on a bought crust! I’ll make three of them next year. Oh the trauma of aftermath!
My sister says this is not her favorite day as she is only thinking of the job lying ahead – “taking it all back down”. I myself, am ignoring a mountain of laundry, dishes to wash, boxes, bows and bothers to put away. Many are back to work. (Thank you Lord, for retirement.) Some are heading to the gym to work off their regrets. And most sadly, some feel the aftermath of those missing from their seats; of disease stricken bodies; of houses in shambles from the strike of disaster. I’m reminded my day of bliss is only temporary. However, in this afterglow, in spite of scraps of wrapping paper floating in and out from under the furniture; in spite of the bulging refrigerator of left-overs; in spite of fatigue and expanding waistlines, it is my favorite day.
I spent a good bit of time this morning in my troupe of snowmen, naming each one’s giver, or what occasion coerced my purchase, and enjoyed their smiling faces as they welcome the newcomers. I’ve turned on the lighted ones, the snow globes, and played the music boxes, and silently thanked each friend and family member who gifted them to me.
The aftermath of cleaning up, clearing out, and taking down, will have to wait. I am basking in the afterglow of love, gifting and good cooking. As I enjoy another sausage ball and one of my sister’s amazing coconut balls, I watch my fur baby doing it best. He is stretched out sound asleep, arm over a new toy, watched over by three snowmen and topped off by an over-looking “Blessed” pillow. These are my ‘aftermath’ sentiments exactly, in symbolic form of course; overstuffed and tired, but contented, protected and blessed.
Our Christmas tree seems not to notice the unwrapped gifts, nor the unwound energy of its people. It stands as shining and pretty as ever, reminding me to keep on – to be as generous and cheerful each day of the coming year, as I am in the midst of our best Christmas days. I realize this has always been my favorite day; remembering and appreciating, both the aftermath, and the afterglow.
As a dear friend says in her signatures, “Blessings”, to you and yours! Love ya, Trisha
“…but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upwardcall of God in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:13b-14)
Begin with anticipation, not anxiety; end with reflection, not regrets.
I read a devotional message this morning which reminds us to have the objective in life of finishing the race in a way that glorifies God. But not without releasing ourselves from the past, including anything that weighs us down. I realized that in not only our faith, but in all of life’s endeavors, we need objectives. From a first grade teacher’s lesson plans to the post-graduate’s continuing education, objectives are necessary. Goals toward bettering oneself or community, improving methods and understanding, increasing wealth, deepening knowledge and faith; these are possible goals or objectives we may find to be our focus.
I enjoy writing on Saturday mornings and Sunday afternoons; reflective of the week passed, and hopeful for the coming week. Similarly, with bedtime prayers we ask forgiveness of sins, that our prayer will be heard and live in hope for the coming day. Whether a day from now or a week, or five years, we need objectives to propel and guide. Last week my friend Linda sent a quote to me. It stated no amount of regrets will change the past; no amount of anxiety will change the future; and any amount of gratitude will make the present better. Like Paul said, forget the past and keep the objective ever before us. With thanksgiving. (Philippians 4:6-7)
If you’re like me you try to end each evening with a prayer. Often mine are asking for absence of regret; reflecting on the needs of the future; but always with thanksgiving.
Sharing with my children this morning, the subject of objectives, and its connection to the verses in Philippians, I told them objectives won’t fly if tethered to regrets. I’m learning to let go of the past, press on toward the goal, and in all, to be thankful. As I write, I realize gratitude and prayer have indeed transported me from a residence of regret, to one of, well, time share, perhaps. (smile) While I am not totally free of crying over spilled milk, I am totally free of guilt. The less I cry, the clearer I see objectives. The more I rid my heart of ‘woulda shoulda coulda’ space, the more room I have to embrace a future full of hope and gratitude. My goal? To get rid of that time share and never darken the doors of regret again. I believe we call that Heaven.
Reflect on each day enough to evaluate, and keep or adjust worthy objectives. Anticipate the needs of meeting those, with faith that God will supply your every need. Set your objectives with the ultimate goal of bringing glory to God, even with the mistakes you make, as you accept His forgiveness and grace. Living with no regrets, because Jesus has washed them away, is the freedom He bought for you with His blood on the cross. To cling to regrets is to refuse Him. I pray you will seek Him, accept Him, and through His blood, live regret-free. Trisha
No matter how far or near I travel, even for a few days, I grow more appreciative of home. As I reminisce about a recent trip, and watch our cotton candy sky give way to dusk, I feel there really is no place like home.
I was thinking about the comparisons we make, which can be bad, stealing our joy; or good, increasing our appreciation for things. How was this place compared to that? How is home compared to there? How is our traveling compared to thirty years ago? (!) Having some bit of trouble re-acclimating myself to being home, I kept going outside for fresh air and just to look around and appreciate being home. My head felt “fuzzy” which could have been due to four days of driving the up, down and round and round path from Smokey Mountains to Asheville NC and back. It could as well be from riding with the country boy who found the reins and permission to go home. With ears pinned back and the scent of the stables, this steed was not looking back! I do believe he drove it like a rental!
Our early fiftieth anniversary celebration trip was splendid in many ways, but home cannot be overrated! I brought home touching memories, funny memories, and well, just memories (maybe best left unpacked). But from our front door, we found comfort and beauty like nowhere else. Not because it’s spectacular; no, that was the Biltmore Estate. Not because it is luxuriously accommodating; no, that was the Inn on Biltmore. Simply because it is ours. If there is any comparison to be done, it is only to say, it is better, because it suits us just fine. I found our beautiful Burning Bush hailing from the lawn and Brandywine Maple leaves raining from tree to ground. Our red leaves are no brighter, but no less striking, than those of other areas. But these leaves are here; our leaves. That makes them more appreciated; no prettier, just more appreciated. The drizzle of rain here is nothing spectacular, but so welcome! While in North Carolina, we experienced their severe draught, with disappointment at seeing very little autumn color. Other than a splash here and there of dull yellow, there was a brilliant red oak, common name Scarlet oak. They rather enjoy the dry conditions and were strutting their stuff! Compared to expectations, the lack of color could be a letdown. But compared to the rest of the landscape, those oaks were outstanding! And more appreciated than ever. Otherwise, leaves clung to trees drained of color, and not all the brown fields were due to harvest. A cloud of dust followed a John Deere combine as the soybean crop was being harvested on the Biltmore Estate. Rows of sunflowers surrounding the soybeans hung their big brown faces toward the ground, gasping for a break from heat and dust.
Travel itself can be a larger issue than the destination, so it helps to keep our eyes on the goal. We plan the route and reservations, pack the necessities, and prepare with small GPS screens and chargers, which once was a paper atlas, at least 10 by 14 inches in size. It’s the unknowns that must be dealt with as they arise. Detours; must I say more? To avoid backed up traffic our GPS took us off I65, and onto the ‘scenic’ route. I still feel dizzy just thinking about it. While we slowed down to a new speed limit, there was no stalled traffic and we had opportunity to really see that part of the foothills. On life’s journey, try a detour; even if a forced one. With a different pace you may experience some amazing stuff. Assuredly, if we let God plan the route and we pack according to His instruction, we’ll be prepared for those unknowns – as much as is possible.
Whether the journey goes as planned, or has sudden rounds of ‘what?’, all roads eventually lead home. Our son’s first book he learned to read was called “Home Is Best” which as a toddler, he ‘read’ from memory of hearing it read to him. It began, “East, west, home is best. Sometimes home’s a hanging nest.” It went through many animals and the different kinds of homes they have. Each one is the best. Because it is theirs. Make your home what it needs to be for you and your loved ones’ comfort. Protect it, cherish it, and make it the safe haven from which all can go out and appreciate the world at arms length, and then love coming home.
Likewise, life’s journey has beautiful rewards, as well as its ups and downs. The goal should be getting back home; the eternal home that God has waiting for us. Life can be a fun trip, or the travel may be difficult, but oh, won’t it be great to get home! In Ecclesiastes 12:5, we are reminded, “for man goes to his eternal home, and the mourners go about the streets.” Thinking about the difference age has made in actual road trips, the difficulty of it and adjustments to be made, I realize reluctance to see the vacation end is a thing of the past. We are so ready to get home. Similarly, aging does a miraculous thing about this life thing – we may not cling to it as we did in our youth. The more we roam, the more Heaven is our home.
I try not to get too wrapped up in the trip and keep my eyes on home. Jesus has prepared it (John 14:2), protected it for our homecoming, has forwarded the route details to us in His holy word, and I genuinely believe His presence there will make the trip worthwhile. Trisha
“For we know that if our earthy house, this tent, is destroyed we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.” II Corinthians 5:1
I missed my Mama and Daddy today. I feel like a child. No-one can love you, be interested in you, like your parents. Though I had about a hundred well wishes, never lonely, lavished with family love, and a sister above all others, I long to hear that phone call. I long to sit down to that birthday dinner. The TLC she put into every morsel, gift and hug are incomparable. And daddy’s genuine interest – in my gardening, the kids, and my husband’s welfare – he always took time to listen to my answers and encouraged conversation.
And then, I can hear my brother so clearly, “Hey, this is ya lil brother. hope you’re having a good birthday. love you.” I miss that too.
Special people go, and leave in their wake a void that can’t, and shouldn’t, be filled. It echos with love and I wouldn’t want to fill that up and take it away for anything.
So… this is healing…to accept the void – where memories drop in and stay to warm your heart.
BIRTHDAY BEAUTY
I awoke today on my 70th, to the song of bluebirds in the air.
From my front porch I could see them playing everywhere.
Through the pink crepe myrtles and Mama's maple tree,
their flash of azure blue is a special gift to me.
Pink rosebuds have opened to late summer sun,
and blue morning glories run a fence just for fun.
The biggest blessing is, I can hear and see,
the bountiful gifts sweet nature has for me. Trisha
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” James 1:17
Technically challenged blogger running test for email followers first. If positive results obtained, will test Facebook shared link. Thank you in advance for any help. Trisha
May 2023: The following is edited from my original 2016 post (and I shuddered when I read my 7 years ago post where I left out the chapter information for the reference to Luke!) As our daisies are again blooming in a sitting area; and as the little girl of this story has grown now to a teenager, I’m reminded of “the more things change, the more they stay the same”. The sweet neighbors are moving away this week; the children are young adults; my daisies have moved from the road. Yet, they are still daisies. Relocation doesn’t change the essence of who we are. People relocate; yet they do not move out of our hearts. A friend is a friend, whether near or afar. Love is still love, wherever you are.
“Megan, where did you get these?” her mother asked. Being a typical six-year-old, the little girl hadn’t thought it important where, just that they were pretty, and would no doubt make her mom happy. Isn’t is great how little ones say “I love you”?
Later in the week, during a visit to our house, Megan’s parents revealed to me how their daughter had come in from riding bikes with her big brothers, holding a nice bouquet out so proudly for her mom. Upon being asked, she stated the flowers were just growing out in the ditch! Her parents looked cautiously at each other, not wanting to dash her delight, and queried further. “Megan”, they explained, “flowers like these do not just grow wild; exactly which ditch did you pick them from?” “Well, you see, they are down by Mrs. Ward’s mailbox” Megan said, and was then gently informed that sometimes people plant things on purpose by their mailboxes. At this point in their story, Megan began squirming sheepishly, so I quickly let her off the hook. “Well, at least your mom got one nice bouquet out of them!”, I said with a wink and a smile. She hopped down from the bar stool and ran out chattering something about her next venture. Oh dear God, if only we could all be so open to Your possibilities; Your grace; and so easily redirected when we stray.
I was thinking later about the child and the daisies, and wondered if we, as Christians, share Jesus as little children share flowers. What made Megan stop, look, consider, and partake? I’m thinking of accessibility, desirability, and perhaps the practicality of it.
I’m pretty sure that if I’d planted the daisies only in a bordered flowerbed, the sweet child would have never touched them. She’d have recognized the border as hemming in someone’s possession, and would probably have been too shy to ask if she might pick from them. But these were visible and accessible. Do we tend to keep our Jesus and His words and love behind the church doors; neatly tucked inside a pretty bound bible of perhaps the latest version? Do we keep them hidden within our hearts, where they certainly must begin to take root of course, but out of which they must grow beyond self and into the world. (I should say from the start that I am thinking, and now write to myself first; for I am most guilty of seeking and finding….and then keeping instead of sharing!) In His teachings given to us in the book of Luke, chapter 14, Jesus points out that there are people in the “streets and lanes” (verse 21) and “highways and hedges” (verse 23) who are to be invited into the feast in His kingdom. Matthew records His words in chapter 5 where He tells us our lights must not be hidden (verses 14-16), but placed with purpose upon a lamp stand, illuminating goodness, and giving glory to God. To please the host, God, we must make the feast, His precious word, accessible.
The daisies were desirable to her; like she said, “They were pretty”. What makes Christianity desirable? That is, what looks so good about following Christ that others want to follow? I think we all agree it is not when we distort Christianity with the panes of judgmental attitudes, bigotry, and hypocrisy! We are told how Christianity should look in Galatians 5:22-23. Here we read the beautiful fruit of the Spirit listed. I am convinced that if we are busy living out these fruit, namely ‘love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control’,there will be no time nor tolerance for the awful things that should never be named among God’s people. Additionally, a prophet of long ago stated “He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?” (Micah 6:8) That is absolutely one of my favorite scriptures, so simply stated. Who would not be attracted to justice, mercy and humility?
Practically speaking, what made more sense than to see flowers, pick a bunch, and take to mom, showing her rather than telling her “I love you”. We see something which reminds us of someone, and provided we can afford it, we buy it, package it pretty and can hardly wait for them to open it! My first blog post told of the blossom in a teacup given to me by my toddler many years ago. I still remember, because he cared enough to pick it (and many more afterwards) and give it to me. When John Dale was our pulpit minister, he often said, “you just start where you are” as he encouraged us to follow Christ, to share His teachings. See the flowers. Pick the flowers. Share the flowers. It’s the only practical way. See it, appreciate it, share it. Megan didn’t need a special purchase order, a price list, or permission to do a good deed. Life is a constant learning experience. So waiting to be perfect will only serve as one of those flower bed borders, foreboding and forbidding. Christ taught us that the greatest love is to give. After giving Himself for us, His last commandment before sitting down at the right hand of God, was to His disciples – to go. Teach. Baptize. Share. Love in word and deed by picking his gospel flowers and giving them away. There is no better way to say “I love you” than to share something precious to you.
Again a child has given me a posy to ponder. Thank you Karen Opferman for letting me quote your child.
I pray that in sharing these thoughts you’ve found a couple of seeds to take with you; one to bloom within your heart and one to bear blossoms for sharing.
Being wakened by a clap of thunder and a streak of lightening, before the alarm sounded, was a sweet and salty mixture this morning. Salty as a coarse eye opener, and sweet as the heavy rain lulled me back to a cozy sleep.
When we awoke for real about an hour later, my husband recalled how storms for him, had morphed through his life from a threatening monster into an actual sleep inducer. My thoughts, however, had hopped on a different train. One specific clap of thunder stands out in my mind above all others. It happened on the day of my mother’s passing from this life. And it was no sleep inducer!
A day in June dawned clear and warm, as most others had, with one exception; my mother was gone. Following all the usual information exchange with hospital personnel, we were drawn back to the house I had seen her leave for the last time, several days before. I ran through the front room and hallway into her bedroom crying her name and as I reached her bed, I begged, “Oh God, please let me hear her voice just one more time. Please, let me hear her voice!” As I gained composure and moved into other rooms, I saw that my sister had arrived and we stood together at the glass door, gazing through memories into her sunroom and backyard. A booming thunder came out of nowhere, surprising us so much that we could only stare open-mouthed at each other and feel the hair stand on our necks; thunder-struck! You make what you will of it; but she and I know what we know.
I’ve always believed God answers prayer; otherwise I wouldn’t pray, I suppose. So, two sides to this coin since that day; was the thunder we heard on a clear day with no rain, wind nor clouds, the answer to my prayer? Did we hear from our mother one last time? Or, on the other hand, was God reminding me that He is all I need to hear? “Do not be concerned for your mother, child. She is with me and you need to take care of the life I have given you until you, too, may enjoy the rest she has found.” Actually now that I’ve said it, I realize the two are the same. I absolutely know my mother would want the Father to tell me those exact words, and if it is in His divine plan to allow the departed a request, she would most certainly call out to her children. And If you knew my mother, you know her calling would be thunderous! Her by-word was, no kidding, “thunder!”
I once thought growing older would make me more skeptical, but I am not nearly the skeptic I was in my younger days. This is not the first time God has spoken through nature, and my friends, it won’t be the last either. From the birds who sing their creator’s praise to the seeds erupting with life in springtime, the Lord speaks of His amazing grace and favor.
Some things I know for sure. It was already said in His word, that in Him we will find rest and peace, and the soul never dies. It is also said in scripture that God hears prayer. Also I know one day I will get to hear Christ call my name, as Mary did standing at His empty tomb. And you know, if we get to recognize each other, I’m going to ask, “Mama, you know that clap of thunder, back on June 17, well, …?”
“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.” (I John 5:14 NIV)
Then I heard a voice from heaven saying to me, “Write: ‘Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on.’ ” “Yes,” says the Spirit, “that they may rest from their labors, and their works follow them.”(Revelation 14:13 NKJV)
There are in nature, often what we call cruelty, things that break our hearts. These aren’t chosen by a black heart to cause pain, but instead they are just the way of survival, of replenishing the earth and natural happenstance. Fortunately, there are many more instances of beauty and complementary behavior; things that make our hearts soar. One such occurrence was mine to witness on the morning of February 1 this year.
The ground was white with a solid coat of sleet, sunshine glinting off icy limbs, and my feeders were partially occluded by ice and sleet. The Dark-eyed Juncos and House Finches were sharing time with Blue Jays, Cardinals and Song Sparrows, dining at the feeder trays, and hopping around beneath the feeders to scoop up seeds which fall from feeding activity above. As I watched them, it was as always, each man, or bird, for himself, but then the sweetest thing happened. To my surprise, I saw a little round fat Junco feed a morsel, beak to beak, to a slim red-hooded House Finch. No more than four feet from my window, they were perched atop the shepherds hook from which hung the feeders, and there was no mistaking what I was seeing. Well, nature never claimed to be boring. My research has confirmed this to be a rare bird behavior indeed.
In more normal activity, a Bluebird couple watched from outside the circle, along with the Robins. Mr. Bluebird, defending his house against invasion by the black throated gray-capped house sparrow, watched from his post atop my clothesline pole for morsels of a meal. My mealworm offering to the Bluebirds also attracts the birds of an aggressive feather, but he never minded their feeding themselves what he could have had. He just moves farther away, watching for a safe zone to dive down for his own meal.
“Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?” Matthew 6:26 NKJV
Suddenly a convention of Robins convened at the back edge of the lawn. Mingling with a growing flock of Blackbirds, they all seemed busily concerned with whatever it was in the field that interested them. A bustling world of busyness, not unlike our own, just going about their own business; neither harming, nor helping, any others. Much too familiar for comfort, I see some of us pulling at our collar.
But the colorful sight at the feeder was too grand to take my eyes off for long.
Red, orange, black and brown; striped, solid, smooth or crowned; all aflutter, searching and eating, sharing time at window peeking; bringing life to frozen air, Nature’s love song everywhere.
Be the Junco in feeding a fellow flyer. Be the Bluebird in seeking peace.
“If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” Romans 12:18
Simply stated, notabilia means ‘things worthy of note’. I came away Saturday from our local congregation’s ladies’ retreat with several items of notabilia. First, I will say it was a privilege to be there, and by that I mean, I’m privileged with the transportation and time to go; with some great friends to accompany me; with the opportunity of getting to know more about some sisters in Christ who were very nearly strangers to me; and lastly I got to hear notabilia from others as I sat back, relaxed, benefitting from their life stories, their words and their studies.
I must insert a fair warning here. I have not been able to keep this short, though I have forced myself to omit a great number of details I would love to have shared. But I don’t want to lose you before I make my intended points.
At first I was drawn the distance of an hour and a half drive just for the chance to see again the actual place of my obedience to the gospel of Jesus Christ, which was the West KY Youth Camp. It was in the swimming pool there, that I was immersed into Jesus’ body, in about 1966. I attended a total of three summers, two as a camper, with the director being the late Kenneth Hoover, and one as a junior counselor under the direction of the late Dennis and Florence Rogers. Though it was touching to see the old pavilion where my tears flowed, (or was that the off note I sang in How Great Thou Art?), it turned out not as interesting as what I found inside the building where the retreat was being held.
This large multipurpose building was a little rough around the edges, as it would be most difficult to have fine and fancy on donations alone. (Aren’t some of the biggest hearts found inside those who are a bit rough around the edges?) But it was SO accommodating! All the necessities were there: great space, comfortable chairs, tables, bathrooms, kitchen and lots of light. But, what made it work, was the people rather than the venue. Thorough planning was done, which is necessary, but it doesn’t carry itself out. The hard work carried it out, and that’s necessary, but impossible without the planning; which leaves intent, which for me, must’ve been God’s part. Being human, our intentions for being there were likely as varied as we were.
As an older member (some of these ‘ladies’ were young enough to be my grandchildren), I had to ask myself beforehand as to intent; why so far away, and why I wanted to get up at 5 AM on a Saturday. In all honesty, I even dabbled in the devil’s deceit, wondering if it was to weed out us older ladies; you know, the old stale routine. Shame on me. Oh, we were taken far away for sure – far from everyday monotony, rush, confines of the clock; to a place where we were encouraged to see through our spiritual eyes, our gifts and our places in the body of Christ. Unfortunately I was only able to attend Saturday, but what a blessing that day was.
My take away from Kelly Vaughn’s lesson on spiritual gifts (our talents or abilities) is they change. We change. So do our gifts. Changing does not render us useless. Perhaps our former abilities are those upon which to build. Maybe we do an about-face in another direction altogether. Why this hadn’t occurred to me before, I do not know. I didn’t see it. I felt that because I wasn’t doing the same things I had done like teaching littles, and then later, medical mission trips, I must be washed up; no real purpose in the work of the church. Then there I was enjoying Kelly’s excellent points about spiritual gifts, and BAM! she said things like older…changing…different…still have a place in the body. To quote her, “One’s gift, or function, can change, as life goes on”. There. Right there was my God given intent, my reason for wanting to be there. He knew, and I did not. This “seasoned” Christian needed to hear that our grace given gifts change; and we are still deemed useful, though probably in other functions. Self-centered, perhaps. But don’t pretend I am alone in this. We need to be needed. And the body, the church, has a great many needs to fill.
On the other hand, life was just settling me into the comfort of excusing myself from responsibilities. I now realize using age and lower energy levels as an excuse for sitting back, is not a reason to avoid all roles. As the scripture says (I Corinthians 12), if the whole body were hearing, where would be the sense of smell? There are women older than I and with family/health/obligation issues as well, and they are serving circles around me.
The second talk by Alisha Bohannon, still focused on finding our places in the unified body – the church – as found in Ephesians 4. There is diversity in gifts given by God, that we may function as a whole body. Alisha’s story added a sweetening, like dessert after a sumptuous meal from Kelly, reminding me that some have had to endure extreme hardship and tragedy to come to their “place”. Not that all who use their gifts must have come through great tragedy, as she pointed out. But for those who do suffer, there is the choice of whether to allow God to work through the situations to transport them into a better place, or to hold out in anger. This gave me pause; introspection, as to what circumstances in my own life had led me to opportunities or areas of service I either filled, or perhaps resisted. It was endearing to me to have these tender moments shared with us.
Our activities included artwork. Well “art” may be stretching it a bit, but it was quite enjoyable to play in paints again. It’s been a while or two since my kids, now in their 40’s, asked me to paint. I came away with a permanent record of favorite scriptures from these young women. I look forward to looking up each one to read and meditate on them.
The last item of notabilia I’ll mention is one of the stations in another activity (and all of them were valuable!) But at this one, the instructions were to write on a piece of paper what weights you are carrying. After looking at them and comparing them to a list of categories, along with scriptures related to each category, you were to give these weights and burdens to God. Symbolically, we were to then put the pieces of paper in the shredder provided. As I read what I’d written, I was a bit unsettled to realize these were in the categories of fear and doubt. Me, a seasoned Christian, having fear and doubt riding around on my already over-used back! I jotted down the verses to take home for fast reference when I am tempted to retrieve those burdens from God. In Isaiah 41:10 God tell us “Fear not, for I am with you. Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” The second one is Proverbs 3:5-6 where we read, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”
Other notable points I want to mention are as follows:
Young women whom I saw screaming their way into this world are now able to lead with their voices in song and scripture.
Everybody loves tacos.
Quiet women can raise the spiritual roof with devout prayer.
I do not need to use stensils again. Ever. No kidding. But I can still have fun with failure.
One generation learns from another; both are valuable.
Please do not consider this to be a complete list of things worthy of notice from the retreat. Nor is it anyone’s opinion but mine. My observations and take-aways are as particular to me as my own face. I incorporated no one else’s. Before I go, I think I have come to what I found most noteworthy. No tradition should be so tightly gripped that it squelches the flames and excitement of others as they grow and change in their spiritual life. Friends, I lived through watching one congregation dwindle down to bare bones and I never want to witness that again! I cannot speak for them, but my own observation attributed the decline to resistance. Resistance to fresh ideas between generations and reluctance to change. First, and foremost, the truth in God’s word never changes. Venues, methods, action however, all can and will change to serve and carry out what He has called us to do. The scriptures are filled with examples of women who altered their styles, made new connections and did new work as their lives changed. Naomi and Ruth, Esther, Rahab, Mary Magdalene and Mary the mother of Jesus to note a few.
It was the first time I had attended a church function where I was the oldest, and only two others near my age. I have to say I was disappointed. My prayer is that our inspirational times together will continue to thrive as they have in the past as we remember what we learned from those gone ahead of us, who made learning and serving fun and exciting as we grew. I will try not to be so unyielding to my own changes. I will be praying for unity in the Spirit; for every sister in Christ to find her gift and cherish it; and for all of every age to “Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another.” Romans 12:10
I told you this would be long. If I have misrepresented anything or anyone, I encourage correction. I am sorry I had to miss Mallory Bybee’s talk Friday. Thank you Ashley Benson for your planning; Leigh Ann Grady for the delicious goodies; the men, Jacob, Matt and Scott for the work of maneuvering tables, trash detail and providing food. I no doubt have left out others who made the time of refreshing/retreating possible but you are just as appreciated as if I knew your names.
You know those little corners, where perhaps the hardwood meets the carpet to the side of the threshold, or in the bathroom where hairspray drifts and dust evades the dust mop, and they stick together tighter than the suction of the vacuum…well, I do. Sitting to take off my boots, I took a good look at one such corner, and found myself remembering the days of brand new. A brand new house, no matter how humble, is something you expect to stay new, until it doesn’t. In spite of diligence to take care of it, living happens. Dents and dings, cracks and crevices seem to crawl over the surface like the evening shadows. But it doesn’t happen while we are sleeping; oh no, we are quite awake – living. Living takes its toll. Every imperfection, flaw and failure tell a beautiful story; we are living. Winning some, losing some, we get to keep trying again. Fallen soup cans dent the kitchen hardwood (probably not the wisest decision we made) and little gaps in the weatherstripping made by fur-friends, join the hole in the patio screen door where sweet little fingers missed the too small handle (what was the manufacturer thinking?). Those and more, prove life was happening.
As I stared into the corner where threshold carpet flattens into the land of sprayed down dust, I pictured my mama, down on her knees, scraping yellowed wax from the crevices of patterned linoleum. I would like to go back to that time, lift her gently by her elbow, up from the floor and into the yard for a picnic. Maybe just sit down and invite her opinion, about anything. But I believe she was clearing away what she could, of life’s ills, and right then it was old yellowed wax. Shiny floors back then meant you had paid a high price, and it wasn’t in dollars and cents. But this is about old and new, so I will get back on track now. I couldn’t imagine that house, or that woman, being new or young; any more than she could imagine my being old. Thank goodness we were too busy living to give it much thought then. As I sat today, for a moment, old enough to have earned a few minutes of meditation, the following came from that forgotten corner.
WHEN OLD WAS NEW
I remember when all of this was new.
Those corners there, the carpet too –
Fresh and clean, and the doors didn’t squeak –
I remember when all of this was new.
It had a fresh-start feel when it all was new.
I recall the paint was a different hue.
Those dents in the floor were once flawless boards,
Before the living, when it all was new.
The garage had space, the attic did too.
And the shingles stayed put when a strong wind blew.
The screen is torn and the weather stripping worn,
Yes, it looked a little different when it all was new.
Everything old was at one time new.
And we’re no different, we were too.
Ills back then were swift to mend, and
moving was easy when it all was new.
So stand on my shoulders for a better view
For I’ve been there, done that, and saw that too.
But when I’m out of gas and stall in your path,
Wait – there’ll come a day when you were more new.
Well, I’m not gonna let it make me blue,
When I feel the changes in what was new.
I’ll just wait for the call for my overhaul
And this old house will be better than new!
Until that time when the old is made new
And we each can do what the others do too,
I’ll fix what I can, lend others a hand,
And remember with fondness when it all was new. Trisha
“For we know that if our earthly house, this tent, is destroyed, we have a building from God a house not ade with hands, eternal in the heavens.” II Corinthians 5:1 NKJV
As paths cross throughout life, some prints make a deeper impact than others, on each of us. It is likely those who first held our children, made some of those deeper ones.
The ability to touch hearts comes in many forms, like song writing or painting, but the skill of letting others know they matter, or that they are cared for, may be the most rare form. Eventually we are all going to be known and remembered for something.
There is much to recall by many, and here are a few of my memories. I will remember red pickup trucks, roses, and babies, and the encouraging statement “you’re doing a much better job of this than I could do!” for mothers-to-be who were in their pushing stage; but one very important quality Dr. Gene Cook had was taking an extra moment for people. Time, a valuable commodity in a physician’s life, can make a world of difference. A moment of thoughtfulness, like a sympathetic phone call, or writing down the name of a hearing aid specialist for an obstinate nurse who blamed his soft voice instead of her aging ears, was kind, but even kinder was his smile at her denial. That’s just one of a hundred things I remember.
How many reassuring words from Dr. Cook, calmly escorted a patient through her pregnancy? How many supporting affirmations were given to the heart broken families who waited but did not conceive? How many warm hugs and words of ‘well done’ kept a nurse on her tired feet? Never too busy to hear an update or concern for patients’ changes or lack thereof, he was swift to reply, swift to appear. Many unit clerks and nurses’ jobs were made easier by Dr. Cook’s clear orders and perfect handwriting. As the computer age rolled in, so did his efforts to help us merge the old with the new, one way or the other. (Only the nurses will get that last statement.)
While we have struggled these last few days to wrap our heads around the reality of our loss, indeed our community’s loss, we have sobbed with sadness, shaken our heads with disbelief, and remembered with fondness the man Gene Cook, the physician Dr. Charles Eugene Cook, our friend, Doctor Cook. Each person who was privileged to meet him will have their own memories, and impressions. To be so soft spoken and humble, he sure made an impact. I can see him now, hands clasped and elbows on knees, sitting in a rolling chair at the nurses’ station, and gently turning his head side to side as a denial of any accolades for himself. He would instead, be watching for the “okay” that the surgery crew was ready for him to enter the cold sterile room where he would quickly and adeptly bring a warm screaming life into the world, by way of cesarean section. There was no waiting on him; he was johnny-on-the-spot! Or, he would be donning gown and gloves, having orchestrated long hours of a successful labor and the eventual delivery of one more new life. Whether one who was first touched by Dr. Cook’s capable hands, or the grateful new parent, or a fellow care provider so glad for the intense concern for excellent outcomes, or just a nurse who was thankful Dr. Cook had her back, we can all say thank you; from the heart, thank you Dr. Cook!
Of all my memories, I want to share this one because it speaks to me of Dr. Cook’s attitude in general. It didn’t take long to find we shared the enjoyment of tending roses. He appreciated the beauty of the few nice specimens I took to share at work, and I appreciated his knowledge of rose care and of varieties. He often asked, “How are your roses doing?” When the virus we called ‘witches broom’ struck so many, wiping out entire gardens for some, we lamented our concerns for it. One day after his asking about my roses, I began fussing about a particular bush I had not pruned in the winter and the resulting growth was quite gnarly; poorly blooming and just a mess. He then stopped me by saying, “Never bad-talk your roses”. Exactly. And Dr. Cook lived by that rule as far as I ever knew. His roses, his people, whatever he cared about may have gotten constructive criticism, but there was no ‘bad-talking’ them. His level of care for his patients was, well, on a scale of one to ten, a twelve. I believe I can speak for others perhaps who worked behind the scenes with him, and beside him, in assuring you he always wanted the best, not just okay, but the best outcome. For everyone. Every time.
My sincere sympathy goes out to the family of Dr. Gene Cook. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Matthew 5:4
I knew this week would be hard but I just didn’t dream how hard. The gaps in my broken heart haven’t healed and with the light God shines through them, there also seeps tears and doubts. I dreaded the anniversary of my little brother’s passing one year today, the fifth of January. Regrets are mean spiteful things; yet we hang onto them even though God tells us to let go and let Him heal. I worried about my little sister, my nieces and nephew, and I was concerned that I, myself, would hibernate to Kathy’s couch to sob into my grief. But life had other ideas. The sudden passing of the young and vibrant Mandi Murdock whose husband and his family have been a part of our life since, well, forever, has bolted me upright. My heart is so broken for the Murdock and Darnall families that it dried up my tears before they could fall for my own losses. Well, that is, other than the moments the radio was accidentally shifted to Spa station this morning and started playing “Before The Gates of Heaven” ( an instrumental, but wow, what a title!); then later “Last Date” was drifting off the piano keys of Kent Hewitt (I think) similar to Floyd Cramer. And that’s a whole other story I can’t get into now. So I called Janette DeWitt to check on her but instead, I just blubbered how I need not listen to the radio on edgy days and how heavy my heart was. She understood. So well. She listened. She stood in the gap where I had lost it, until God put it back. That’s what friends do.
Earlier today there was also the visitation and funeral for a lady who was the caregiver for her husband, a friend to many and seemed to always have a smile ready. She will be missed greatly by her family. Many were there to stand in the gap for Carolyn Hargrove’s loved ones and make the burden of goodbye somewhat lighter.
Tomorrow, as Kyle says his final goodbye for this life, to the other half of himself; as Luke tries to imagine life without his mother, as he so recently had to do with his big sister, I try myself to understand what we are supposed to think and do when we want so desperately to help, but cannot make sense of it. When Mandi was abruptly separated from her family, from earth ties, from lesson plans; when a young son grapples for understanding, along with grandparents who are trying to take in air that must feel stifling with palpable grief, we who know and love them want to help. We know full well words cannot explain our sorrow, nor heal. So we hover; we collectively stand in the gap – share the grief – stand even from our own homes in silent respect, kneeling in prayer, sitting in a search of God’s word for answers. That’s when it came to me; we hover, gathered together in spirit, surrounding these beautiful people to fill a gap; a gap created by life situations and one that the evil one will take advantage of if left open. Loved ones surround us, quite unlike the gap in the city’s wall of Ezekiel’s time where no man would stand in the gap, and so the city was not saved. We stand with each other, with this family, so that hopelessness cannot take over. We hold up the Holy Spirit, brought by our hearts filled with Him, to comfort and keep hope alive for better days and a future alive with hope for eternity. Filling the gaps where God is working through us to keep mourning souls from despair; so grief will not overtake them. My prayer Lord is, use us as we stand physically and in spirit surrounding the Murdock and Darnall families, knowing nothing of our own ability can get them through, but allowing Your power of hope and healing to be magnified through us as we stand in the gaps. Keep the circle of faithful friends strong, where faith, hope and love will be standing, and doubt, despair and darkness will be shut out. As You ready them to face the days ahead, though their gaps will never be filled, the love of the Lord and those standing in the gaps, will keep them safe. Amen.
Memories of Kenzie and of Mandi, and her presence with the Lord where her daughter is, will also stand in the gaps for all who knew and loved them. That’s how I see it. Love, Trisha
Happy New Year friends! I suppose ‘happy’ is subjective, as well as all inclusive for the many things we wish one another as we closed chapter 2022, and began a new chapter, 2023. Even as I proclaimed ‘happy new year’ to my family last night, I knew we meant so much more. It includes the momentary “let’s celebrate the auld lang sine in a festive spirit”, but from me to them, and to you, it means more fully, “bless your hearts for surviving and thriving the past year, and may you reach bravely and blessed into the abyss of yet unknown”.
Most people who enjoy writing, feel they must say something about anything new I guess. So, with a fresh cup of gingerbread coffee in hand, may I add my two cents worth of ‘happy new year’. With that, I wish I could take all your anxiety, fear and hardships, tie them in a Hefty bag and send them out with our Friday waste pick up. But then, that is God’s job, and He, with all wisdom and clarity of the big picture, is the best at it.
I have been guilty in years past, of saying I was so glad a particular year was over and welcomed a year with a new number. As if any time frame could recognize our expectation for a number on our calendar to alter a thing. No, one day just follows another, and it is up to us to be grateful for every single one of them and to give each day our best shot. I’m not real good at it, but a runner doesn’t have to win to know what she needs to do better to win, right?
As I clear away the Christmas clutter (that which I thought was so warm, cheery and bright when I put it there!), I feel my head clearing as well. Finding the floor again and parting with things I couldn’t before, is liberating. Closing and sealing each box or tote, giving it a place on some shelf, and wiping the dust away makes me breathe a sigh of relief. Is that how we feel about the worn out year? What started 12 months ago as a bright and shiny new opportunity, has lost its luster, and feels ragged and rough, ready for the dumpster. Maybe my lesson to self is not to set those expectations too high; nor to feel disappointed because some issue didn’t magically change by the stroke of midnight December 31. A new year doesn’t promise perfection. Storms will rage; illnesses persist; interest rates rise and children still fall. But praise the Lord, these are temporary, and Jesus is still Lord of all. I am so thankful I can pray to a God Who listens and will never grow tired and weary of our petitions. I praise God for wanting to be our rock, our healer, our guide back home when we stray. Time fails us because we put our trust in it, instead of the one who controls it.
My wish for you all is as James 4:8 says, “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” May you be blessed with the desire to know more fully the One Who gave us life, taught us to love, and loves to see us happy. Trisha
What delight I have in the average! The ordinary and mundane sparkle like a long ago memory hanging on the Christmas tree. Call me crazy, but I have always been comforted in a way, by the pauses I take to say to myself, “ok, this or that will turn out alright because I’m average; those rare things don’t happen to average folk”. As naive and unrealistic as it is, it has just been a thing I like to think, all my life. Interestingly, Mary the mother of Jesus, considered her lowly and ordinary existence a reason to praise God for the extraordinary! This post isn’t about Mary, but I dearly love the verse, and surrounding scripture showing us how humbly Mary magnified the Lord for her unique, one time ever, blessed experience. I believe Mary was relieved to find her ordinary self was just what God needed to work His wonder, and she did not feel pressured to be more.
Recently I have found my thoughts circling around the joy of ordinary. It’s a wonder I found my thoughts at all, but that is beside the point. The more abnormal, or out-of-the-ordinary things have become lately, the more I appreciate the mundane normal state of things. Ebb and flow, nice and easy, calm waters; yes, let me live there. I’m thinking we all put our own lives under the microscope occasionally to verify our own ills and isms. There we decide whether we are average or not. We see the tarnished tinsel, the interruptions, the rippled surfaces, but there is always, always, room to say, “wow, it could’ve been so much worse”. Or perhaps not, but I have not been in those rare life-altering situations where I really couldn’t say it. That, to me, is a comfort, and a blessing. Though I have not been so sheltered as to never know tragedy, as an average person, it was not to be the end of me.
Grandma Wilkins’ arrangement
Then there are the unusual times when ‘exciting, awesome, or amazing’ descriptors are needed for the days jazzed up with extra helpings of out-of-the-ordinary. Those are our aha moments; our fantastic experiences. We can all use more glitz and glitter – at times. But truthfully, at my age, it is quite tiring to plan and carry out those amazing times. A little bit goes a long way, and then I’m so ready for the usual and mundane. You know why we decorate so early now? It is because the few days of putting up a tree and wreaths and candles and snowmen and Santa Clauses requires a few weeks of recuperation before we can even think of taking it all back down again. I recall when our only Christmas decoration was the tree wrapped in lights, glass balls and silver icicles. It was really doodied up when Mama added an arrangement to the dining room table. Grandma and Grandpa put their little arrangement on the console television cabinet. Though it’s now dusty, dull and dinky, I still have it; a simply beautiful memory.
Surgeries, illness, utility calamities (even our appliances suffered from Covid in 2020-21) and other common, but unexpected bumps in the road are what keep us so incredibly thankful for the days of no incidence; the days of nothing to tell, nothing to sweat, nothing to tug a special plea to God on our own behalf. The best part of those times, is how much more I can focus on praying for all those around me who were not so fortunate as to have a mundane, dull day.
From an average family of five, with average incomes (eventually) and average education and abilities, I found the turbulent times bearable by the thought process I’ve explained above – that since I am average, this is all normal. Christmas would still come because I had an above average mother who made sure it did. Food would still be on the table because I was blessed with parents who had good work ethics. The wheels would roll, the lights would come on and the booboos would heal, regardless of the storms brewing. I’ve grown up now and realize none of that was average. Rather, it was so incredibly blessed that tears form as I think of how to adequately express it.
This Christmas week I am thinking of all the children who find life so hard and cold that there is no normal, no average, no peaceful thinking. No warm beds, breakfast nor hands to gently wipe their tears. Dear God, take some of my average from my life and use it to soften those little souls.
A few weeks ago the news spoke of a child who had suffered in ways unmentionable, and all I could do was sit and sob for her. I do so now even, realizing hers is not the only case in our world. I do not intend this to be a depressing post, as there are more than enough seeds in the world already for planting heartache and feeling down. I suppose what I do want to relay, is how extremely satisfied we ought to be when we have a most usual, common day. The gratitude and pleasure well up in me just to be able to look out the window at gifts of red Nandina berries and green wheat sitting dormant through the winter. As much as I want to understand depression and knowing it is very real, it is just beyond my average ability to grasp how one cannot look into God’s beautiful nature – both that of His workmanship and His person – and be lifted out of the darkness into the light of a beautiful ordinary day.
For the past several weeks, especially remembering last December and January, I have struggled with worrisome thoughts myself, but for every discouraged feeling, there have come more amazing devotionals from God’s word, encouragement from friends and family, gifts of healing and hope for better tomorrows. When you are a child of the King (Lord Jesus); when you have super hero friends and family members; or when you have weeks on end of doing the same thing, seeming to roll one into another, count yourself way above average. It’s okay to tell yourself it’s all average, so you do not live in a bubble of expectation, thus the ups and downs do not burst your bubble; but never forget how special it is, and to be on-your-knees-thankful for the ordinary.
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.”
James 1:17 NKJV
Have a blessed, ordinary, Merry Christmas! Love, Trisha
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” (James 1:17)
Walking my dog through the gray fog, I spotted an oak leaf, brown and dry, standing upright upon its stem in the brittle grass, waving in the breeze of this cool November Saturday morning. Returning to our driveway, I see the friendly leaf still there, still waving, and I smile – at the leaf, at the gift of a day, at the sky over it.
More than three hours later, a walk to the mailbox found my leaf friend waiting, keeping her stance in the cool damp grass. She reminds me of a little brown Christmas tree. With points so perfectly shaped and pointing outward and upward, I was drawn over for a closer look. I bent to her and measured the height from my fingertip to eleven inches above, where she reached from the grass where she stood to her farthest point; eleven inches long. From my more critical inspection, I could see flaws in the shiny surface, and one tip wasn’t pointing as well as the others. What an interesting visitor to bring a smile. And I thought, isn’t that just life in general? It is what we make of it. To you, it’s just a leaf, no big deal. But beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. I can make what I will of it. Not that wishing can change a thing, but attitude can change the effect of a thing. Moving the thermostat from dismal to grateful, changes the air, not the room.
The flaws in my little leaf made it no less impressive, important, nor influential. In fact, her flaws made her more endearing, with marks of time inflicted upon her as she came this far through life. Gloom and glitches can either change our outlook, or our outlook can prevent the tragedy of rippling effects due to disappointment and dismay altering the way we see. Grief for something lost, or something missed; anger and angst for plans that turned brown and dried up; or unrelenting regrets, to name a few, can dominate our life. Or, with God’s grace and great girlfriends, we can use the grief or ill situation to gain gratitude for all the gifts in life. God does not make bad things happen. He gives us the support and the gifts to make each day count in spite of it all.
Even the ordinary and mundane can transform a dreary day into a gift. A brown leaf that strayed into my lawn with its imperfections, became a waving friend, or a tiny tree; a day changer. It is what you make of it. Be the leaf. Or be the one who appreciates the leaf. Either way, it’s a gift.
Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name. For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, and His truth endures to all generations”.
Psalm 100: 4-5
This morning I knew my blog post would be related to Thanksgiving, but I had no real springboard; other than appreciation for all things good. As the nation prepares for Thanksgiving week, I have enjoyed seeing gratitude expressed in different ways. Janette DeWitt posted thankful notes on Facebook this month about the people in her life. How important it is to let people know you are thankful for them! Also, I was amazed by my seven-year-old great nephew’s ‘thankful writing’ of gratitude written in school. I would say his gratitude priorities are rightly placed! Lastly, I am always touched by the thank you voiced by my husband for little things I do which many would take for granted. The things we appreciate are as varied as our personalities, and today Steven Hunter mentioned in Sunday School something that may explain this, called the five love languages. So I came home and Googled it. According to author Gary Chapman, we prefer to have love shown in one or more of five categories. This in turn, influences how we show our love, unless a loved one lets us in on what they prefer. It always raises eyebrows when Steven mentions how his wife speaks his love language as she “serves him his plate”, bless her heart! Presto, springboard! Being the good natured brother he is, I know Steven won’t mind.
I was sitting next to a sweet girl the age of my children when Steven mentioned bringing a plate to your husband, or having a cup of coffee brought to you in the morning. April and I looked at each other and laughed as if to say, “like that’s gonna happen”, but for some that is their love language. I could sure go for the coffee thing myself! And to be honest, I have filled and taken a plate or two, but it was probably on some disabled occasion, or with sarcasm under my breath. (smile) So, here is the love language in our house: if I prepare it, he can walk to the table to receive it. And… And… most importantly, if he provided the table (and he did), then I am honored to prepare and serve our meals on it. What is important to us is, we meet at the table. That is our service to one another.
This also is our service to God, that we meet around His table. He has prepared tables for us to feast on the bread of life in His word (John 6:35); the table of communion where we eat the bread of remembering our Savior’s body (I Corinthians 11:24); and at the table He, as our great Shepherd, prepares for us in the face of adversity, and fills our cups to overflowing (Psalm 23). It seems the love language of our God is multifaceted; love by word, service, gifts, and quality time. Even the language of physical touch He gave, as Jesus came physically to earth to bless us with the greatest gift – Himself. These He gives and these He wants to receive, as we give gratitude, service, gifts, time, and the touch of a hug, hand shake or helping hands. In doing these for one another, we do them also to Him.
Each generation has it’s own idea of where dinner is served, and for that matter, one locale may even define ‘dinner’ differently from another. Raised in rural Kentucky, dinner was for me the noon meal, served on a kitchen table with all family members present. I am thankful for that. Supper was served in the evening in the same style, especially if dinner was lunch because family was away from home. But to not stray any farther from Thanksgiving, I’ll bring it back to the table. Whether it is an heirloom table with all of your Mama’s best dishes served in the evening; or great aunt Fuddy Duddy’s crowded table of garden treasures at noon; or grandma’s gravy on grandpa’s chrome table; or at TV trays from your favorite chairs with your favorite peeps; and whether there are two or twenty, just come to the table. Bring your smiles, your prayers, and your gratitude for being loved on in any language. Bring within your heart those who are no longer at the table. Put the phones away, unless you’re playing music for everyone (my picks are Ben Rector’s “The Thanksgiving Song”, Glen Campbell’s “Home Again” and Louis Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful World”.) As we gather in heart, or in homes, I wish you a very thankful and blessed Thanksgiving. My heart will be full as I speak my language, serving up dinner, at the table. Trisha
This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.”
Psalm 118:24 NKJV
With Seattle’s Best steaming from my coffee mug, and a fuzzy throw on my lap, my Yorkie and I watch the last comfortable morning move into the day, pushed by a north wind. It is November 11, Veteran’s Day, as well as the forecasted end of warm weather. We’ve enjoyed an extra helping of beauty and warmth this fall, even with the great need for moisture. Given my druthers I definitely take dry over too wet, so I’ve hung onto this fall, maybe too tightly. Some farewells, though expected, are just not welcome.
In the distance, I see trucks working to complete a highway project we had hoped never to see begun. Now we can hardly wait to see it finished. Over with already! Some endings are welcome!
One year ago, due to my sister’s wise planning, our brother and I met her for a Veteran’s Day lunch. The weather was drizzly, cool, and with his disabilities it was an effort he could’ve understandably forgone. Had he not joined us however, to honor his military service, we would not have this last good memory of brother’s time with us. Less than two months later he was gone. Some goodbyes are unexpected.
Like my brother’s old yellow wheelbarrow upended against my potting shed, I am now ready to resist cold rains (if they ever come). We’ve piddled in the lawn and gardens the last couple days; partly to prepare for winter and partly to just be in the presence of what we know must depart. Thousands of poets, nature lovers and old folk have described seasons as life cycles, and life cycles as seasons. I never grow tired of it. God’s hand of grace feeds my grateful heart season after season. Whether a daily departure of the sun’s glow, or a season-following-season farewell, nature teaches us the importance of seizing the day – to appreciate and use the time – but also to just take it in and be grateful.
One memorable moment of farewell for me was a September sunset on the beach. Here, the beach is its own kind of loud – the resounding wash-sh-sh, wash-sh-sh, wash-sh-sh of the ocean with the frequent seagull call and a distant helicopter’s clap clap clap. Voices and laughter more rowdy by day, are now subdued with sunset, and blend with the waves to form a quieter ‘white noise’, leaving you with your own thoughts. It pulls me in and I hear myself think more loudly than the din of the beach. It is more than a delightful sunset. It is the glow in my heart for the R&R with my husband and the satisfaction of enjoying something new. I think the secret of truly enjoying our time and being able to smile at “so-long”, is not planning too much; being still to allow ourselves to absorb the surroundings, being in the moment.
In our days and nights, in our seasons, and in our relationships, we tend to push so much into them, complicate them and force our expectations upon them. That is when we cannot say goodbye with ease; when we want length and fullness that were there, perhaps, but we missed it. Or, sadly, the length was not there, and for those of you, I wish you more; more length and breadth and glow.
I am not missing this autumn season. I have been ‘in the moment’ much more than in the past. In recent seasons of life I learned to choose my battles and I’ve let some go. I have silently observed loved ones, and actively cheered on others I love as well. If I’m distracted with what I think I have missed, I miss what I have. Life goes on, and someday it will go on without me, and without you. I hope my sunsets will be full enough to allow my loved ones to smile and say it was good for me to have been here. Most importantly, will I have helped another to face their farewells; to embrace their sunsets and stand strong against the harsh north winds.
Over the past two and a half years, I made four difficult drives with the sunset in my rearview mirror; two from Graves County – first, leaving my young brother in tears at a nursing home, and last, leaving from his home where he had passed away. The other two drives were from a Tennessee cemetery, first for my daddy who left suddenly November 13, 2020, and fourteen months later, for my brother. Though the goodbyes within the departures were heart wrenching, they never diminished the beauty of the sunset. In fact the sunset’s glow reflected my mood and warmed me at the same time, with hope and the knowledge that I was not alone. Whether expected or not, welcomed or not, farewells are as sure as the sunset. and sunsets offer us the glow of hope, and the beautiful promise of morning to follow. Trisha
Farewells
Goodbyes may come at sunset, some in the dead of night.
Some at break of day, and some in noon day's light.
Whether they are welcomed or whether met in pain,
A new day will be dawning, and there's sunshine after rain.
Live time in the present and embrace your given life.
For farewells surely come, whether in peace or strife.
Take courage and have hope, for love lives, and never ends -
'Tis the force that takes our endings to where new life begins.
Autumn Encouragement
New green wheat blankets the field where Spring's hope lies.
Fiery red hawthorn berries set off the deep blue sky.
Sweetly fragrant roses hanging on to the bitter end
All nod their pretty heads at the growing North wind.
One lone pink rose, a few glowing red,
And two sunny yellows will soon be put to bed.
Happily present, not concerned with tomorrow -
Like the song birds' singing - full trust without sorrow.
Warm sun on my face, wind chimes in my ear;
Dried okra pods stand waving in the air so clear.
I envy Nature's graceful stance, in the firm face of change,
amazingly coaching us, encouraging and teaching us, to do just the same.
“Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.” (Proverbs 16:32)
How do you describe a single frantic moment or incident, where four individual forces are blended as one spinning top with two layers, each going opposite directions at once? A cyclone, a tornado? On our second day of Seaside living, my dog Auggie and I called one such moment the ‘Boston Bully’. Minding our own business as we took a doggy walk, we were taken by surprise along the sandy fenced walkway, where small garden gates gave access to the walk from each home’s lawn or porch. Suddenly, through one gate, as if thrown from a whirlwind, a black and white cyclone was out of the gate, yapping and chasing Auggie, evading his master’s “Max, Max, Max! Come back! Max!” The Boston terrier was all chase and no heeding the call; out. of. control!
Auggie wonders, “Which way home?“
At the same time, Auggie’s fight or flight kicked in and it was all flight, no fight, with Auggie running counter clockwise around me and my clockwise attempt to intercept, impeded by leash and the outer circle of Max and his master’s continual circling, which boosted Auggie’s speed to avoid being devoured. After I finally grasped my part of the spinning top, Max was snatched up by his equally surprised owner. In those few seconds, it was easy to identify two separate personalities. Though about the same size, one was bossy, aggressive and out of control; the other was meek and under control, albeit by harness and leash more than his own. I imagine Max was accustomed to bullying, or taking charge outside his master’s reach. Auggie, on the other hand was anchored, under the control of his master, in reach of safety. With nothing to prove to this wild one, Auggie’s aim was to get out of his way. As soon as he saw his master’s out-reached hands, he leapt into my arms. Meekness, they say, equals strength under control; peace seeking; the desire to do (and receive) no harm. Auggie displayed no snarling, barking, nor attitude; just “get me outta here”.
I laugh now remembering the embarrassed (if not somewhat fearful) manner of apology from the Boston bully’s owner. Scooping up his little sidekick, he kept repeating, “I’m sorry…sorry…sorry…” and with a sudden effort to see the whole situation vanish, he confidently finished, “HE’S SORRY!” The cyclone over, I could only stand with mouth gaped, no sound coming forth. I wish I could’ve said something smart, or kind, but I was literally speechless; and winded. We gratefully resumed our walk and never saw the little bully again; somehow I think we made his day.
When encountered by the world’s unleashed whirlwinds, or chased by a cyclone of fear, God promises to stand firm, an unmovable anchor for our soul. He says to be patient; to exercise self-control, and He will make the way of escape. (I Corinthians 10:13, Hebrews 6:18-19)
My next “Ocean View” will be Sunset Goodbyes. It may take more than a week because I am still learning to navigate my own emotions through some of life’s goodbyes. Then again, it may be a short and sweet goodbye to the “Ocean View” series. I hope you have enjoyed the reminiscing as well as seeing, as I do, the reminders of His character our Creator placed in nature. Until then, have a beautiful week. Trisha
I am taking a break from “Ocean View” this week, as I used my time in preparing and enjoying our daughter’s visit for her alma mater’s homecoming. Boston Bully, the subject of my next “Ocean View” will have to wait. Being focused lately on the beach blogs has had me chomping at the bits to mention the amazing autumn colors. I join the ranks of those who’ve been seen with jaw dropped and cell phone pointed into nature. Many of us doubted the drought would allow much color, but I have been pleasantly surprised, and I’ve heard several of you say the same. I myself have been afflicted with leaf envy; the most exquisite red trees are not in my yard.
I am probably prejudiced, but I think our home town is one of the prettiest in the fall. As we shuffled through leaves to watch the homecoming parade from the end of Ninth Street, I reminisced walking that very same street decades ago. Tuesday’s rain had settled the dust and Saturday morning’s cool breeze stirred a familiar aroma in the maple leaves; one which took me back to the third grade when our neighbor delivered her daughters and me to the corner of Poplar and Ninth. We walked the leaf-covered sidewalk from there, to what was then called the Austin Building until our new elementary school building was completed. Perhaps many of those very same trees had shed the leaves I now watched my great nephews playing in after the parade.
Ninth and MainCommon SumacHomecoming 2022
I await October all year; which is odd in a way…so many losses to our family and our friends’ families have occurred in these autumn months. Yet, as I was saying to a dear friend recently, it is as if God presented us the great beauty of autumn to comfort in our losses, ease the discomforts of losing summer, and soften the forces of seasons He knew we would necessarily weather in this life. I cannot describe in one post all the beauty I see in October, and now, tomorrow it bids us farewell for another year. I am thankful for the few roses that have hung on to decorate our life, but soon they too will be gone. The yellow and burgundy chrysanthemums have shown like neon lights, and now begin to show their age. The weekend rain is helping trees and shrubs shed these colorful leaves, leaving them bare and resting, for a new year. It is a fitting time for homecomings; reminding me of how farewells eventually bring around welcome hello’s. Life teaches us to say “ta-ta”; and as well, to anticipate with joy, eventual homecomings. This month has just evaporated (probably the fault of the extreme drought) and all too soon winter will be upon us, but take heart…we will be that much nearer the regeneration of Spring. Then, again we will be jaw dropping and photo snapping. The comfort is that in a world of so much change, some things never do.
Fifth in the Ocean View series….There is a very pleasant sound when the earth is in motion; when the waves wash ashore from the sea.
My friend Linda’s daughter and grandson
After lunch today I was glued to the patio, soaking up the sun’s warmth and the cooling breeze; transported back to – you guessed it – the beach. It has become my Sunday afternoon ritual to remember, reflect upon, and relive those special moments. Finding reminders of God, and certain lessons I gathered in the tidbits of nature only God could make, I began this series of “Ocean View” to share thoughts and experiences I’m sure we have in common, about visits to an ocean. I’m fairly certain no one who has walked in the sand, has missed the fascination of watching a perfect impression be washed one wave at a time, out to sea. It’s almost a game to guess how many waves will completely erase our footprints. Among the many parallels we can draw from those vanishing footprints, is foremost to me, the fact we are “here today and gone tomorrow” as they say.
“He has shown you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you But to do justly, To love mercy, And to walk humbly with your God?” (Micah 6:8 NKJV) This is one of my favorites; yes I do have several, but I mean this is in the top five! As I “walk humbly” with God, what kind of footprints am I making? Whose am I following?
Some impressions make a strong impact, some only a mild influence. Nevertheless, they are real. Just as a real person made real prints in the sand, our lives make real impact on those about us, impressing for good, or not. As I watched the first ripple blur the edges of my footprint, then the second wave melt the impression down to an outline, the third wash totally took the print out to sea; a million grains at once. Will any one of those grains enter the clam who would make a pearl of my impression? I’ll never know. While we don’t want to get too caught up in our own presence, or make too much of it, there is something to think about here. Actually, we may not realize fully enough the impact we make. After all, the prints were real and while we may not see them linger, their image lives in our memory; we were there, making footprints in the sand. Who might be following? To whom do our footprints lead?
Are my footprints just aimlessly meandering this way and that? Is it like trying to follow the gull’s scrambled tracks? If on the other hand, they are sure, and true, they will lead to the good shepherd Who knows every sheep by name. If my prints help someone to recognize the good shepherd’s voice, they will hear and follow Him. “When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.” (John 10:4-5 NIV)
I have only the few moments of my imprint before it is washed out to sea. Will there be any impression or influence worth the effort God put into making me? (Because He has had to do a lot of work on this gal!) As we compete with flashy high-tech toys in gaining the little ones’ attention, I catch myself wondering, will the glint in my eye and the grin on my face ever be enough for them to remember something good about me? Wow, how vain that sounds, but isn’t it true? I feel I’m not the only one who wants to be remembered by her loved ones as one who loves them; as having a positive impact in their lives.
In the first couple years of public school, I encountered two very different women. One, our sitter we called Miss Frocie, and then there was my teacher. All I remember about the teacher is fear, and a broken self image. Miss Frocie however, went about her humble daily life with a song. Literally. I am taken back to her little house every time I hear “Footprints of Jesus” (by Mary B. C. Slade) She sang it, hummed it, and taught it. She had a picture of the “Last Supper” over her kitchen table. Though she was not a doting gooey-sweet sitter, she took care of us and made a terrific lemon icebox dessert I wish to this day I could duplicate! The impact of one became a part of me that if I’m honest, I never got over. The other one influenced me to love Jesus, Terri Lee dolls and lemon desserts. Footprints of Jesus…”🎼And we see where Thy footprints falling, lead us to Thee.” 🎵 He, Jesus, is the way, the truth and the life. You’ll find no better prints to follow.
So, it is true. One day they will say of me, “here today and gone tomorrow”. Will there be any marks left to point the way for those to come after me; any impact to assure friends and family of their importance to me; and will a single grain of my walk be a pearl I can return to the Father for the beyond-amazing life He has designed.
In Revelation 14:13, John was given this knowledge to impart to us: “Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on…that they may rest from their labors, and their works follow them.”
Now go walk in the sand, and marvel at the works of God’s hand. Trisha
I’m having fun reliving our mini trip to the ocean, reading over notes I made while there. I hope you enjoy the view from my beach chair. And I hope my husband is still speaking to me after this one😁.
We hit the road with no particular expectations; simply a prayer for safety. I sought only the sweet breath of the ocean; to be quiet, still, and to receive the gift of peace I had discovered in years past, peace I found in the solitude as I looked out over the expanse, forgetting the world at my elbows. I asked for nothing more, except to hope the trip would be good for my sidekick too. I was about to be reminded of God’s way of presenting gifts beyond our imagination, in the here and now. Before your eyebrows fuse in that position, I ask, would we pray for daily provisions if we did not believe good gifts are part of this life, as well as life in eternity? Let me unwrap the gift of just one day we received on the beach at Seaside.
“…And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters…Then God said, ‘Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.’…and the gathering together of the waters He called Seas. And God saw that it was good.” (Genesis 1: 2b, 6, 10b)
So, if I read that correctly, waters were there on the second day, before there was land on the third day. And God saw that it was good. By the fifth day the seas and heavens were so pleasing they were given life to inhabit them. (“Then God said, ‘Let the waters abound with an abundance of living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the face of the firmament of the heavens.‘ ” Genesis 1:20) Inconceivable – to us, but who are we? A god who can make all creatures great and small to inhabit earth, water, and air, would have no problem at all preparing their habitation.
Did you realize (I didn’t until now) that it was the sea life and birds of the air who were first “blessed” by God! It says so in verse 22. That’s the first recorded time of God blessing His creation. And here we were, blessed, in front row seats to witness one little slice of that creation. It seemed they were showing up and showing out just for us, as if they knew our time to be there was short, Gary’s endurance was limited, and the flies would come biting tomorrow. Yes, Day one of our beach trip, Gary’s first ever, was nothing short of a gift. ON with the show…
Now I know most of you have experienced so much more, our trip pales to a ghost in comparison. We didn’t swim with the dolphins, nor go snorkeling with the undersea life, but I assure you we were extraordinarily entertained by this show rehearsed for thousands of years. From our first step into the crystal clear water with ghost crabs the size of a large hand, to the larger than life sunset, we enjoyed one new thing after another. We laughed at the tiny lightening-quick sand crabs popping in and out of the sand as the soft gray and white gulls did their best to grab them in their hide and seek game. We watched schools of small slender fish at the waters edge, like synchronized swimmers performing a routine. First this way, then reverse, that way, and back again, until they danced out of the spotlight.
As usual, there were a few jellyfish here and there, but I’d never seen one being carried in a sand pail, it’s gelatinous excess spilling over the sides of the child’s pail. One look at a youngster rubbing his leg told us the jellyfish had been a bad sport and now faced the consequences as it was carried away to be buried in the sand. Ugh.
While we didn’t swim with dolphins, they were certainly on parade! At first it was a barely recognizable image of forms leaping on the horizon. Soon another group, or the same, I have no idea, had come closer, leaping, arching, splashing to our pleasure! I squealed like a kid on Christmas morning with a coveted new toy. A third time, even nearer, the show stopping acrobats were between us and a young man on a paddle board who had gone farther out than these dolphins! Arms all along the beach were pointing out to sea and there was a congregational “whoa!” What a thrill for me to see, but even more so, that they came to play for a 70 year old who’d never even seen the Gulf before. HIs only other ocean view had been a chilly shore in Maine years ago. I had by now, begun to explain to him this day was not the usual but a gift – perfect weather, no annoyances and sea life abundant.
After a while of admiring the natural beauty, I had to remind my husband this was not the mall. People-watching would not be good for his health. With tongue in cheek, I say there were more creatures than jellyfish jiggling on the beach. After wearing a towel over his head for a few minutes, he decided to watch his feet turn red and play games with the gulls. Live and learn. After a short time of quiet I opened my eyes to find gulls gathering a bit too closely. I had cautioned him regarding these gluttonous feathered friends, but alas, I caught him with his hand in the lunch bag, pulling out pretzels to break and toss. (I know, I know. But I mean, when a man so diligently directs his vision per wife’s instruction, who’s going to scold?) One gull quickly became three or four, looking at him with expectant “don’t stop now” expressions. We laughed as each one grabbed a piece of pretzel, chop stick-style and ran toward the water just in case this land lubber wanted his treats back.
The final layer of gift wrap to reveal our pleasure of the day, came in the midst of a growing crowd off to our left. I had become quite comfortable drying in my sunny chair, so Gary eased off in the direction of the ado, ready to snap a picture of whatever the people were following. There was from my vantage point a shadowy figure slowly moving about 15 to 20 feet off shore, being followed by the crowd. I thought perhaps a large fish, or small dolphin, had floated to shore and I did not want to see a dead one. Just as I realized it was moving intentionally, it swam out of sight and the crowd dispersed. Before Gary returned, I asked our neighbors, the Markeys (from last week’s post), what had been the attraction, and to my dismay, they reported A LARGE SEA TURTLE! Fish fur! Of all the times to sit on my butt! I was happy though that Gary was privileged to see it and his camera caught just the edge of it from where he stood. My true concern was possibly this wonder of a creature had thought it to be time and place to come ashore and lay her eggs, then was frightened away. We were not graced by her presence again.
Millions of people over the years have been entertained and impressed by natural wonders we may just take for granted. But what a gift; and as any of us can truly say, “You did this all for me?! Awwww, thank you! ” I love the lyrics to “Who Shall Stand Before the King” (R. J. Stevens Music, LLC) It is taken from Psalm 24, which begins, “The earth is the Lord’s, and all its fullness, the world and those who dwell therein. For He has founded it upon the seas, and established it upon the waters.” Who indeed can stand before the King; I am not worthy. But I have stood before his creation, received the gift, at peace, amazed, and grateful. Trisha
There is a very pleasant sound, when the earth is in motion, like waves come ashore from the sea. Like children’s laughter and gulls o’er the ocean; a mother’s sweet voice in your sleep.
“And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works” (Hebrews 10:24 NKJV)
I first noticed them descending the two dozen or so steps to the beach, two babes in arms and one at their heels, and carrying bags of beach toys and towels. I said in passing, “wow, you’ve got your hands full”. She laughed and rolled on. We do have our hands full, I thought, as we navigate the stairs and baggage of life.
Upon returning later to the sandy bliss, I realized their beach umbrella and chairs were set up next to ours. The little girls were as brown as biscuits against the white sand, and I later learned their ages were one, two and a half, and six years old. An absolutely beautiful family, the parents were so calm and tender with the children, encouraging their play and soothing their fears. Mom Markey (fictitious name, since I did not ask permission to use their real name) approached me in the water complimenting the bandana I wore, and said she used to have a bandana in every color and also received compliments. Her reply to those, she said, was “Thank you, it’s what I do when my hair needs to be washed.” I revealed it’s what I wear because my hair has thinned and needs to be styled! We shared a laugh and knew we, as women, had in common the need to fix things. After a brief conversation, I learned they are from Texas, he is a youth minister and she, in need of prayer, a minister’s wife. Bless them! I have no idea where they are in their journey of knowledge and faith, but I do know she is a firm believer in prayer. Because of some things we discussed, I knew I would remember and pray for them. Then she really touched my heart as she said, “when we cross your mind, that’s probably when we need your prayer most”. Her next comment was just raw naked truth – “it seems that when he (her husband) is preparing for the occasional times he does pulpit speaking, we are feuding and fussing – satan is stirring discord – the kids are getting upset…” Oh Father God, have mercy on the young families all over the world who must go through this! The devil sees all effort to learn of God’s will, as his chance to wreak havoc. Just like the Markey family, there seem to be more poison arrows than we have shields to deflect; until we remember God and His shield, the only one big enough for the job. (“above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.” Ephesians 6:16) Faith in God, our BIG shield; and this sweet little momma juggling dependability (as a wife), disappointment (as a daughter) and duty (as a mom) had faith that my prayers would be heard. Momma M., “I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13) and so can you, and so can dad M. Do not give up! Study hard and grow far.
It was refreshing when the six year old splashed out to us, declaring her name was Mary, and showing me her painted fingernails. She said, “I was named after baby Jesus’ mother!” In turn, I shared with her my love for John chapter 20 in which a different Mary went searching for Jesus; and I showed her my blue toenails. Her giggles assured me I was cool, and she waded back to shore, bodyboard in tow. Mary didn’t seem ready to trust the bodyboard beneath her, but kept carrying it around with her instead. We moms, in a similar way, don’t always completely trust that shield of faith but we keep carrying it, and one day, if we grow, we will let it carry us.
“When we cross your mind…” Yes, and if I cross your mind, pray for me too. Satan has no limits on age and occupation. We all face adversity. Quite possibly God, in bringing me to mind, has sought for me, your prayer.
“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” Psalm 119:105
The only features of our “pet friendly” accommodations made known to me, prior to arriving, was the $200 fee. I left home with questions, like, would he be welcome on the beach? Would there be a pet check-in to present his required vaccination status? Most importantly, would we have a place to take our morning walks? The answers turned out to be yes, no, and yes, in that order. Sadly, even though dogs were allowed on the beach, I never made time to show Auggie the ocean; maybe another time. As for the check-in, no human interaction occurred other than the many oohs and aahs and “may we pet him” offers. The morning and evening walks were a dream come true! Soft sandy paths connecting the houses, streets, restaurants and the beach, were wrapped with cute little picket fences every step of the way. Best of all were the lights! Perfectly placed along and low on the fences, at just the right level to illuminate our path, were automatic lights. Everywhere. We never had to walk in the dark, nor search for light switches. No flashlight necessary; no effort on my part, the light was always on time and enduring. Not unlike God’s word, right? May I make a couple more comparisons? Walk with Auggie and me as we continue to see similarities between our path’s golden glow and God’s word.
I wish I’d taken a picture of our walking path after dark, to show how our steps were not darkened by the many shadows cast by trees and buildings which stood between us and overhead street lights. This was due to the shin-high lamps illuminating our path. I was reminded of Psalm 119:133 “Direct my steps by Your word, and let no iniquity have dominion over me.” Truly our path was not overshadowed. I didn’t trip, and Auggie wasn’t startled; at least not in the dark. Only once, during daylight, did our path encounter a bully who had escaped from its owner. But that’s another story, and a comical one at that.
Path to the beach at sunset
Some well-intended light sources can be glaring, or blinding, like headlights on high-beam or a porch light so bright it ruins the ambience. These pathway lamps had just the right glow – easy on the eyes and pleasantly guiding the way. Again in Psalm 119, “Your word is very pure; therefore your servant loves it.” (verse 140) Here again we see the likeness between our pathway lamps and God’s word. We open it and read of the love put into showing us the way as God Himself breathed the inspired word for our benefit. It is not meant to be used as a weapon to battle each other, but to bring light to a world darkened by the work of satan. Many times Jesus pointed out how the Pharisees used the law to entrap and segregate. But Jesus came bringing life, “and the life was the light of men” (John 1:4) A light to our path.
One other helpful feature I noticed about our pathway lamps was the appropriate spacing. This way the whole path is well lit, eliminating spot lighting with gaps. We could walk confidently, knowing what was ahead. What a comfort on unfamiliar ground! In Psalm 119:50 the writer, speaking of God’s word, said “This is my comfort in my affliction, for Your word has given me life.”
It’s a beautiful thing how the Word was with God, and, looking down on the darkness of this world, became flesh, suffering the darkness Himself, to become the light that would save the world. And returning to Heaven, He left us the light of His word to guide us home too; light that is readily available, expertly placed, pure and easy to see, that we may walk confidently. Even under afflictions, through dark times, and in unfamiliar territory, His light comforts, right on time, enduring forever.
There’s a pleasant sound when the earth is in motion, when the waves come ashore from the ocean.
We’ve just returned from a trip to Seaside, Florida, my husband and I, where we stood in the soft white sand and viewed those astounding color bands from crystal clear over our feet, to the deep blue where the ocean and sky meet. All those bands of aqua, green, and blue, are my favorite colors, but especially the brilliant sweep just before the horizon’s edge, like the blue from spring’s bluebird. I don’t know if it was merely getting to see the ocean again, or the thrill of witnessing my husband’s first view of the Gulf, but whatever it was, it trickled from my eyes and made me clap my hands. “The vastness of it…” was all we could utter for a while.
From the moment we arrived at our cottage called “Waves”, to our trip’s goodbye at sunset, I was thrust into a sea of beauty, both actual and metaphoric. Our upmost emotion as we stood in the unending waves was certainly gratitude; for a safe arrival, and for the beauty our eyes beheld.
I kept thinking of God’s question to Job in chapter 38. “Then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind, and said:…Or who shut in the sea with doors, when it burst forth and issued from the womb; when I made the clouds its garment, and thick darkness its swaddling band; when I fixed My limit for it and set bars and doors; when I said, This far you may come, but no farther, and here your proud waves must stop!” (verses 1, 8-11) It is good to feel so small; to know there is a grand and awesome presence more than our human strength and frailties. How humbling to know the God who created a force so great it grinds rock and shells into powder, yet so gentle children can splash at its edge; a pure wonder! But a wonder to be respected for sure, and not just a little caution should be taken while enjoying even the gentler side of this great body of water.
While my husband’s choice kept him knee deep distance from shore, I never can resist getting all in. Up to my chin in waves, my toes bouncing, touching the familiar feel of sand, I remembered the fisherman Peter. Immediately I knew we have been too hard on him, accusing him of little faith, though Jesus had a right to say so of His disciple. But we? Not so much! Peter at least had the faith to take a step, a leap of faith so to speak, out of the boat into the angry sea. It wasn’t a beautiful bright day with folks watching, floatation devices in hand. It was a stormy night where the only other companions were crying out in fear. It wasn’t chin deep, but “in the middle of the sea, tossed by the waves” that Peter professed to his Lord, “Lord if it is you…” Command me. I will come. And he stepped right out onto the rolling crashing waves, knowing it was Jesus Who called “Come”. Now, being human, he did take his eyes off Jesus and did begin to sink, and Jesus did save him. But I’m here to tell you, as I met my waves eye to eye, I could not say I would have stepped out of Peter’s boat. Just knowing my fear of approaching people with the gospel, I cannot say I would answer so boldly the call Peter heard. You can read about it in Matthew 14:22-33.
The call to become a Christian is one we hear through His Word. I answered by being baptized in a swimming pool, the nearest body of water at the time. I still get distracted and take my eyes off Jesus . I still start to sink. He still saves. I am thankful for Peter’s example, one of stepping out in faith in the first place. Whatever we feel God is calling us to do, let us echo the faith Peter demonstrated as he stepped out of the boat, and let us keep our eyes on Jesus.
The colors, the sounds, the vastness of it all, are part of what keep us going back to the ocean. Each time I’ve been I come away with new inspiration for life, from life. This is the first in a series of “Ocean View” I have washing around in my head. I hope you’ll join me as we discover little treasures on the beach with an ocean view. Trisha
“Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come. …Her children rise up and call her blessed;” Proverbs 31:25, 28a NKJV
September 16 is a nice time of year; nicer because it’s the birthday of my mother. Now, my sister always made Mama proud, and pleased her in so many meaningful ways. Our little brother had his own unique way of being dear to her heart. But for some mother-ish reason, Mama liked my words, written. So, all I’ve ever done that seemed to me, to honor her was write, for her, on her special day. Somehow it does seem better than the scorched toast and dry scrambled eggs with a bud vase holding a chigger weed or clover bloom, which in my youth I’d be serving for her today, on a tray. I can imagine the mess she had to clean up after I got it done. I share the words in her honor, and because she would want me to.
Dear Mama
If Mamas could sell every tear they cried
And if they were paid for how hard they tried;
If happiness really, could be bought
And children learned every lesson Mom taught;
There’s no end to how happy and smart I’d be,
Because you’d have bought them just for me!
You’d have spent the tear treasures on everyone else,
And, perhaps, some SAS shoes for yourself!
For your big loving heart would always know
Where needs were calling, and your sore feet would go.
You would be 91 today and I am celebrating your life; recalling the beauty of your heart in spite of the pain. Thanking God with a smile on my face for His grace in letting me be yours.
As Daddy felt his time slowly pulling into the station, he asked me to start writing down his memories and we called them our “Daddy Stories”. I did write, and had printed into a booklet for him, 15 stories most of which were his. This was after his sight had failed but in time for him to hear someone else read back his memories to him and I suppose, to feel like he would not be forgotten. The following I write today, to add to the end of my Daddy Stories, as I watch another garden season ride by.
Near the end of August the garden, like our own aging, grows old, mature, less productive in some ways, more so in others. There is for me, the temptation to begin clearing the disorganized rows again as the picking and canning slows, but the garden itself is still teeming with life. About this time I also shake my head and wonder how those little seeds and sprouts in so short a time, became all this wilderness of blooms among crowded lanes of overgrown vines; and how grass and weeds appear overnight. I love how the drooping sunflower heads draw a crowd of goldfinches and intricately designed butterflies flutter throughout the zinnia, okra and purple hull pea blossoms. This is also a time of reflection; on the ones who planted, picked and preserved gardens before me, teaching me the joy of the process. I wonder how many times I’ll get to do it all over again, and I’m glad I do not know.
For the last couple decades of my daddy’s life we had made amends and grown closer. In my memory that nearness began to grow out of our shared interest in gardening. Sometimes on sunny afternoons, I would drive the half hour or so to his farm to watch his hummingbirds and admire his garden. As life goes, he eventually grew too old to do the work himself and he and his wife, Ms. Wanda, moved to our town of Murray, Kentucky. Here, he was able to drive out often to see my gardens, give his much needed advice, and take an occasional basket of beans or peas home to break and shell for me. When I returned the visits to pick up the readied beans or peas, he had them packed into round plastic gallon pails he called his ‘little ice cream buckets”. He would say, “now don’t even think about returning that little bucket; I’ve got a dozen of ‘em”. But I would bring them back filled with okra, hot peppers and tomatoes for their enjoyment, and get to hear another “Daddy Story”. Over the years, I did keep a few (a smarter person would have kept many) of the pails with lids, which proved to be just about the most useful thing you can own, next to a pocket knife.
I do not truly believe there is a lot of difference in taste from one vanilla ice cream to another. As long as it’s not one of those ‘low carb’ or ‘no sugar added’ or some such concoction pretending to be good ice cream, they’re all pretty much the same to me. But daddy always, and I mean always, bought the “Dippin’ Kind” or, if that wasn’t available, Prairie Farms, which interestingly enough, also had to be in a round plastic pail. Once during the Covid isolation I called from Kroger reporting I could not find a plastic pail of vanilla ice cream, so was there another brand I could bring, to which he said, “No, I think they’ll have it over here at Food Giant”. Daddy did not have a particularly scrutinizing taste, but he did grow up in a time when everything that could possibly be reused, did. I am 100 percent sure he bought the Dippin’ Kind strictly for the plastic pail. There’s no telling how many uses we have found for those little buckets.
I am down to only one of his little ice cream buckets with a lid, because I’ve “used the far out of ‘em” as he’d say. As I washed it today, I was overtaken by emotion in thinking of the end of good things; like multipurpose little plastic pails, old men with softened hearts that want to be forgiven, and time…time for hugs and forgiveness.
We learn as we go; it is the only way. While my amazing mother instilled in me the love for growing flowers and the satisfaction of a pantry lined with gleaming jars of canned tomatoes, beans, pickles, jellies and relishes, it was daddy’s love of growing and tending the garden, which I seem to have inherited as well. From them both, however, I learned to put the past behind, to fill my pails with love, close the lid on bad memories and plant the good ones; to be at peace.
As long as God thinks I need to, and daddy’s little plastic bucket lasts, I’ll keep wagging it and my grandpa’s half-bushel basket to the garden to watch in amazement the whole God-inspired process of decaying seeds becoming fabulous food. I’ll keep picking pails of peppers and okra, cucumbers and tomatoes, and pouring up shelled peas to keep for freezing and dropping broken green beans into it to guesstimate a full canner.
Satan plants weeds from bad memories in effort to tarnish and destroy and make us bitter. I’m going to keep carrying those in my little plastic bucket straight to the garbage; then wash and rinse the bucket to hold the good scraps I take to the compost can, where they will eventually give rise to new generations of beauty.
Life can leave you buckets of blessings and pails of problems for which we each will decide a purpose, and whether or not to make good use of them. I’ve filled my buckets hundreds of times over with useful as well as useless stuff; soapy water and a good scrap of terrycloth towel, cut flowers, fishing worms, good veggies and bad veggies, canning lids and rings, and packets of seed in the freezer to plant another year; scraps of iron and chain and rocks I‘ll never use; popcorn, pecans and grilling supplies; and I’m sure that doesn’t even get near the number of uses Daddy found for his ice cream buckets. I treasure the ‘late summer garden’ time of his life when he was less productive in some things and more so in others, with stories to tell, and little ice cream buckets of wisdom and love to share with his children.
“To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck what is planted.” Ecclesiastes 3:1-2
Enjoying the rain from our kitchen window with my first cup of Portland Blend this morning, my view shifted suddenly from the serene stillness to a lively chase. Already immersed in the beauty of a gentle rain which has been absent from our west Kentucky summer, I was nearly startled by the activity. Not the usual one resident rabbit, but two bunnies emerged from my garden, jumping at each other’s face, then racing around the first crepe myrtle, and continued their dance and chase around the next five crepe myrtles! One would chase the other around the tree, then meeting to begin hopping and prancing, sometimes fist bumping their front paws and then repeat the activity with the next tree. As the leader circled the sixth tree, it disappeared into the soybeans, leaving a bewildered bunny to hop slowly, hesitatingly, back toward the garden shed. I felt a little sorry for the kid, and wondered if they’d ever see each other again.
Life can be a total rabbit chase! I wonder if my maniacal gardening appears to others like the chase I had just watched, around and around and on to the next job in line. We hear of chasing a rabbit down a hole, which again, I’m prone to do, especially if I’m trying to relay some incident. Some notion enters my brain as another is being explained and off I go. And then there’s that great big expanse of a soybean field lying across the lives of our children, friends, work families and so forth. Their paths divert in some direction other than ours and it’s a toss up as to whether they’ll cross again, or lead off in still further mazes. It’s just life.
I hope we jump and fist bump and dance in circles and run our races together for as long as we’re given. Life can be terrific that way; and sad that way.
In my gratitude for the long awaited and much needed rain, I’m also sorry for those who are dealing with too much of it and the rolling rivers. Thankful for the break in temperatures these last couple days, we brace for the coming week of horrid heat. I’m glad I got to see the antics of the rabbits this morning and was reminded to be thankful for our people as well as reminded to stop and play now and then. The chase can be tiring, so remember to rest mentally and emotionally as well as (and probably more importantly than) the physical rests.
“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” Psalms 46:10 NKJV
“Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good.” (Romans 12:9)
Few things are as inspiring as young children whose efforts to try on life are just down right funny and at the same time, may slap a helping of practical onto our pretense. Several such ‘little’ inspirations were provided lately, one being a delightful visit from my niece Sara and her preschool boys. To begin with, as if their big blue eyes and chubby cheeks weren’t adorable enough, they came in proclaiming just how happy I must be for them to be here! Yes, I was, actually, and so why, pray tell, do we adults often act almost apologetic for showing up at someone’s door? It was so heart-warming to know they fully expected me to be happy.
As with every single little person who has ever been in our house, these boys too, discovered the joy of our Smurf Ahoy game. Now, in case you’ve never seen one, its container is a 12 inch square cardboard box about six inches deep, swimming pool-blue inside, and a cardboard ship is balanced over this blue “ocean”. The object is to see how many smurfs you can place on the ship without tipping it over and spilling the smurfs into the “water”. As you might imagine, two and three year olds think it’s much funnier when the objectives are ‘how fast can I tip the boat’, and ‘how loudly can I call out the color on the spinner’? Totally unconcerned with any status of being winner, they simply thrust themselves into it, often literally. Jameson, the younger lad, decided to “get in the lake” himself and proceeded to squat over the box. Stopping him just in time, we explained it was only a pretend, or fake lake. As they continued spinning the little arrow for another smurf move, my mind was spinning about fake lakes, and the precious lens of honesty through which children view the world. As I picked up the fake apple Jameson had been carrying around from my kitchen bowl of wax fruit, I felt kind of bad, you know, like – are these children going to decide this is a house of fake; a game with fake water, a beautiful apple you can’t eat, and plastic grapes that disappoint as well? Lord, help me be a transparent person with real ears for listening; real vision for seeing needs; real boldness to speak truth, all wrapped in real love. Never let me lose my real zeal for making ‘joy’ a genuine full-to-the-brim lake splashing with praise.
In so many ways we grow out of thrusting ourselves into the fun of life, and choose instead, the fake lakes where you’re safely neat and dry, concerned with appearance and refinement, though it may be a veneer to hide our inner child. Oh, I get it – manners are important and it is necessary we learn to use a filter so as not to offend. These are valuable issues that should come with maturity. But children show us what we are missing when we over extend these traits and cast a shadow over the richness of excitement for life. One example I’ll never forget is a side-by-side ride about a decade ago, with great nieces Katja and Izzy and our side-kick Ryan. Ready for the end of a busy fun (but long) day, I was concerned with getting everyone safely back to the house; but not Katja! “Wow, Aunt Trisha, look at that sunset!” If not for her unending zeal I’d have missed that one. I take for granted the shared appreciation of sunsets and butterfly kisses, instead of proclaiming aloud the joy in case someone missed it. (Thank you Janette DeWitt for being a sunset sharer.)
Back to the ‘who-cares-who-wins’ attitude so important to having fun, I got to watch a T-ball game this summer where three year old Jack, another great nephew, was playing. After 199 times of telling me he wanted to go to my ‘howwss’ it was his turn to run the bases. As soon as he crossed home plate, he turned, pointing to me through the fence, and yelled, “I wanna go to your howwss!” My heart soared! Home run! May we all be so persistent in letting others know, including God, how much we love spending time with them. “Let all those who seek You rejoice and be glad in You;” (Psalm 70:4)
Little kids are the ones who reward you with exploring all around your house in wonder. We adults are way too cool, scarcely letting our eyes wander, afraid to actually show genuine interest; and after all your hard work to make it interesting! I know, manners and all that. Next time I visit though, I’m going to ooh and aah the way I really feel anyway. (smile) One day when Ryan DeWitt was about five, he asked to hear my antique Victrola play a record. Seems like it was “How Do You Talk to an Angel?” Anyway, as the speakers scratched out a tune, little Ryan looked up at me and the blue-eyed gent asked me if I’d like to dance. LIKE??? Oh my stars, he made my day!! You never know who may just be teetering between up or down, and your invitation to dance could make all the difference. Go ahead and ask, or pick a dandelion, or hold their hand. Make their day.
The children have nailed it with food too. I’m always forgetting to offer the ice cream, or I leave the deviled eggs in the refrigerator, and guests are so polite they’d rather do without than say a word. Kids are great. They just say, “hey, you got any cookies?” and if you don’t, it’s no big deal, they just check for the next best thing, like “how about ‘nabanas’ or “pasghetti” as my nephew’s little boy, Grayson, used to ask. Always have bananas, and chocolate chip cookies on hand so you can look smart. Especially if a couple weeks earlier you served tossed salad to a group of girlfriends and forgot to set out the dressings until everyone was eating and your sister asked for them. (;
When great niece Izzy was at the ‘fort-under-the-dining-table’ age, she and our neighbor’s little girl were dragging quilts through the house to make their hide-out. One particular quilt is reversible, and I suppose Izzy had just never noticed the pink floral side to the quilt that covered her in the guest bed. Even in her excitement of building their cotton covered table fort, she suddenly stopped mid-stride, and looking down onto the never before seen side of her quilt, she exclaimed, “Oh Aunt Trisha, that is so pretty!” Do I take time to stop amid my busy task-filled days to give an honest compliment to someone’s accomplishments? (No, I didn’t make the quilt; it’s old, and I sure wish whoever did make it could have heard the totally honest praise!) Kids don’t mind that you’ll infer they do not have a pink floral quilt, or a blouse as pretty as yours. They just pile on the praise when they notice, and want to show appreciation. How many times I pass up the pause in stride to add a little sweetness to someones day!
Then there’s the departure. We say something like “well, I’d better get going now” or “I’ve hindered you long enough” as if our presence could be a problem or something. Not little kids! They make sure you know how much they like being there by flat out refusing to leave with mom. “No! I wanna stay” accompanied by tears, erases any question you may have had about your guests feeling at home. If however, they’ve had enough and want to go, they just say so, without pretense. And this day, Sara’s older child, Colt, walked up to my husband’s recliner, and leaning toward him, asked “do you wanna hug me bye?” Mercy, how sweet can they be? Open, honest, forward – no fake stuff there. I’ve said for several years that life’s too short to be fake. The littles in my life are living proof. Perhaps here is a compromise between the two departure style: Well, I’ve loved our time here together, but we both have grown-up stuff to get done, so until our next meeting…
God offers living water, never fake, which nourishes our souls all day long. Drink deeply and do as He does – never offer fake lakes.
“Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven.” (Jesus, in Matthew 18:3)
Good Monday morning to you! To quote the lion in The Wizard of Oz, “Unusual wedder we’re havin’ ain’t it?” While it is a bit chilly for me, the recent showers were wonderful. As I walked out to my garden yesterday I thought of a new piece patched into a quilt. Rich deep brown with green stripes of leaflets and spikes in contrast. Only two days ago I was murmuring and doubtful. Harsh dry winds in the week following my planting plus what I feared might have been only partially prepared soil, gave me concern and I was already wondering if I had saved enough seed to replant.
Oh ye of little faith! God’s masterful plan is unfolding once again in the germination and new growth of another garden, and as Audrey Hepburn said, “To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow”. (Still one of my favorite quotes.) Times like this remind us of the instruction from our Lord Jesus Christ to go out there and plant the seed of His Word. Don’t worry if you have enough, nor if the condition of hearts is ready, nor about the opposing winds of worldliness. Ill winds, infertile hearts and giving us enough – those are God’s job and He’s been taking care of it for generations. His plan is good. He said plant, pray and wait. He is the maker; He gives the increase. (Ecclesiastes 11:4-5)
There is no limit to tomorrow’s harvest of goodness from one child taught, one good deed done or one seed of encouragement.
As youngsters, many of us learned Hebrews chapter 11 as the “hall of faith”. The first verse defines ‘faith’ as “the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen”. Whatever we do in teaching, encouraging or deeds for others, we must do so believing in tomorrow and the power of God to make it good.
“Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, And let her own works praise her in the gates.” (Proverbs 31:30-31, NKJV)
As Mother’s Day approached, I was busily tending flower beds and lawn on Thursday, watching newly planted tomatoes and peppers gain strength while green onions emerged from the brown earth. Growing things is what many women do best; tomatoes, love and faith to name a few. My mind was spinning a blog post in honor of all the fascinating moms and their accomplishments, especially the tiny important ones like mastering french braids and gluten free recipes, delivering Girl Scout cookies, baiting fishing hooks, reading for the hundredth time a Little Golden Book and teaching little hands to fold in prayer. (Planting the important things.)
Before I could get to the blogging, tragedy struck the lives of some beautiful mothers I know, and my eagerness was deflated by sorrow and pain for them and their families. As I do so often, I began to name the many women who have had to say goodbye for now to a son or daughter, too soon. My prayers are for these amazing women to be carried when their strength fails in their time of grief; that all the love and creativity they have shown to others will be gathered in manifold volumes and returned to encourage, strengthen and assure them of their great value, and ability to survive. They are strong women, and my Lord is even stronger than all our strengths. Their courage began to nudge me, as I thought of them, to go on with a Mother’s Day message, reminding all women with or without children, how you inspire, create and nourish the earth every single day.
I thought of all the new plants I have growing in my yard all because of a friend, a mom herself, who loves to grow things. I have a little holly I call Dana Holly, because Dana Bazzell discovered it growing where it would not have survived, transplanted it and gave it to me. I also have a Dana pine, a Dana beauty berry, and a Dana buckeye, all for the same reason. Yes, men can do this too if they have a green thumb, but not while they tend to their spouses, children, homes, careers and church activities – with time left for travel, Facebook and cats. Actually, I can’t think of a single woman who isn’t a ‘mom’ to something – dog moms, cat moms, flower moms, all growing beautiful living things and loving the productivity of their hearts and hands. Teachers who create thinkers; writers who produce trips for our imaginations; artists who decorate our world; musicians who put the beat in our hearts and seamstresses who can take a flat piece of cloth and create a girl’s fanciest dream, are all moms of life.
I thank God daily that I get to be Chad’s and Stephanie’s mother. I thank God also for the incredibly strong mother I was blessed to call Mama, and for the women who influenced her, one of whom was my great aunt, Bertie Wilkins Frisby. She was a registered nurse who had no children of her own, but instilled in others a respect for education, faith and family. Knowing she was a nurse, who had lived with Type I diabetes, and had cared for an elderly relative even as her own sight was failing, I felt her influence reaching me as well. We can all recall those pillars of our communities, the sources of strength and wisdom who planted in us a will to keep on keeping on, even when – and maybe especially when – the rose petals fall too soon.
God bless you, my sisters of womanhood, as you plant, water and feed. May God give you the increase you desire. Blessed Mothers’ Day to you. Trisha
Happy soggy Monday (again!) to you. Yesterday was a most perfect day with warm breezes and bright sunshine, perhaps our first this year. Isn’t it strange what a few hours can do to not only the weather, but our moods as well? As I was racing to complete my Monday “must-do” list in hopes of reaching the flower bed before the rain, I was about to start complaining over this weather of ours. We’d already had a light morning mist, but the breeze was mild and I had visions of easy picking – those weeds would just pop right out for me if – IF – I could just get out there before it rained any more. Ha! Not today. And the farmers would say, “flower beds? Seriously? Try making a living in this rain!” I know; I’m married to one.
Scowling toward the darkening window of rain drops, I noticed a beautiful Ruby-throated sipping at our Yoshino cherry tree, our first hummingbird of the year! Seemingly oblivious to the clouds and rain, he was enjoying the provision of sweet nectar in nature. The world was right again for me – Spring is going to happen regardless of the timing, and certainly without regard to my mood! From there I moved to another window, and lo and behold, our dogwood had unfolded lovely little red petals just to cheer the day. I was reminded of rebirth, new growth, resurrection. And so many blessings!
Just yesterday the back yard was filled with songbirds; bluebirds swooping from tree limbs to clothesline; black shiny martins soaring from their apartments to the electrical lines, and strawberry heads of finches bobbing and darting from limb to lawn. The combined chorus of all seemed to be singing the praises of their Maker. Green wheat growing alongside our lawn was rippling in the breeze like ocean waves and as I closed my eyes, the breeze gently rocked my hammock. I felt deeply ashamed of recent moodiness over missed vacations, knowing many desired destinations will never be realized. To be honest, I feel I couldn’t be away from all this anyway – awakening, spring time, rebirth – I don’t want to miss a thing!
Previous years’ hard work has yielded much new growth of fresh green leaves, tender shoots of hostas, iris and peonies, to name a few, just waiting for their bloom time when they will lift faces upward and give honor to their Creator. With so much energy emerging all around, how can I allow anything to put me down? Silly me, look at the lilies of the field, the raven, all so cared for by God and thriving with no concern for themselves at all! (Luke 12:24) “Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap, which have neither storehouse nor barn; and God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds?”
Bloom where you’re planted. Seek nurture in nature. Be anxious for nothing, (Philippians 4:6). God is good, all the time.
“This is my commandment that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” John 15:12-13
In this first hour of March 23, 2022, I find no sleep so I may as well write. It would be my brother’s sixtieth birthday, the first since his passing. I suppose I will always feel protective of his memory just as I feel I should have been protective of him in childhood. I’ve written the following in observation of his birthday, and in honor of his proudest moments. If it sounds sad, it’s because I am sad he left so soon. Life can be sad, but life is still good, and he’d be the one to say, “Oh well…”.
THE RIFLE SHELL
A VFW gun salute shakes the silence of the air,
and over the flag covered casket is said a final prayer.
Lil’ Brother, a dad, a friend laid to rest
wearing his dress blues, the sun in the west.
Memories fill our hearts and flood our eyes
as the shots ring toward the cold blue sky.
A brass shell casing picked up from the ground
has a design inside where six points can be found.
I see one point for the courage to say “I will”
and one for the sacrifice because the risk is real.
One point stands for loyalty to country and brother,
and one for humility, heroes they claim, is someone other.
One point is for pain, in body and mind
as they endure training and leave home behind.
The last point, for loneliness, though in a sea of the same –
where all wear proudly a common name –
yet all left all familiar to them alone. And now once again he travels on.
Heroes don’t always die in active duty. They may bring home a scarred heart and torn life they die trying to paste back together again. Still others survive to live out a full and beautiful life, and become someone else’s hero. Thank you to Mark and all service men and women for your courage, sacrifice and loyalty to country and each other. I am sorry for the pain and loneliness you felt, and the humility with which you carried it all. Even though Mark isn’t here, I couldn’t let his “big six-o” go by without a special “Happy Birthday”. Love, Sis
“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” I Peter 5:6-7 (NKJV)
Recently I saw a good example of casting your care upon the Lord versus dangling it into the water, near the bank and watching for a nibble of concern. To set the scene for you, it was the first day of March, a beautiful breezy welcome from winter’s stuffy hold.I had the pleasure of being amused all afternoon by an excited six year old, great nephew Grayson. Of the day’s many activities, his favorite at my house is “findin’ worms”.Following his frenzied search for earth worms, and swinging a Mason jar ofhis treasures by the wire handle, he asked, “now what?” I suggested we could put them back in the ground to live in the garden. Looking up at me with one eye winking at the sun, he sheepishly said, “Well I guess we could see if some fish want to eat them”.I’ve never had that line used on me before! Unfortunately, I only had available to us my old cane pole with a short line, a weight and a rusty hook, as well as a crappie pole, with little more line and a bobber. With a six year old’s enthusiasm and confidence, this pitiful assortment seemed enough. So off we went to the pond, bait and poles in hand.
Once we had positioned ourselves on the pond bank and he dug a “fat juicy one” out of the jar, I speared it onto the hook. He exclaimed “I’m gonna cast it out there in the water now!” Cast? With limited line and no rod and reel. Explaining the need to have a reel to ‘cast’ was a waste of breath, for he had already determined this was the only way to fish. As I ducked and dodged the flying hook again and again, Grayson cast with abandon and trusted he would any minute pull in a big bass. Bait on, a whip of his tiny wrist, and optimism was cast without doubt. I suspected his real goal was to use up all his newly acquired bait. My method was to slowly bring the line behind me, often snagging my bait in the brush, then gingerly toss it out as far as my short line would allow me to drop the baited hook while I explained all the reasons why we shouldn’t expect a bite on a breezy day before spring. Is this how I cast my cares on the Lord? Do I cautiously offer a short line I can keep an eye on, snagged in worry, while explaining all the ways it won’t work?
Lord, let me cast like a six year old! Just fling it out there, too fast to snag it with other worldly cares and with weighted hope, expect to reel in a big blessing!No wonder the Lord said we’d need to become like little children! Trusting, enthusiastic and hopeful – the examples I need for casting my line before the Lord, knowing he will take the bait of cares and replace them with peace.
“Then Jesus called a little child to Him, set him in the midst of them, and said, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven’.”Matthew 18:2-3 (NKJV)
Once again a layer of ice has crystalized our countryside in Western Kentucky, though thankfully, it hasn’t paralyzed us as the 2009 ice storm did. Here at home we didn’t even lose electrical power, so we had the privilege of admiring the unbelievable sparkle of the outdoor world from a warm window, where I watched the nearby Hawthorne tree display colors as a crystal prism. Only the sun and the ice compose this dazzling artwork. Snapping pictures for an hour has not begun to capture the reality of what the eye beheld yesterday morning. My eyes, however, remained shifted away from the center of our backyard, where not all was beauty. There in the backyard is a Southern Magnolia tree I love because it was given me by my brother 12 years ago. Due to it’s size, the weight of accumulated ice was more than it could bear and many limbs lay on the ground, splintered ends pointing skyward. As I lamented my heartbreak to my family, we talked about how insignificant one tree is in comparison to the devastating losses so many have suffered lately. It still hurts; it will never have the beautiful shape it was before the storm. Thoughts emerged of life storms, splintered hearts and hope, and the healing we long for after the storm. Hearts scarred and broken from abuse and abandonment will awaken each day and be reshaped by not only the past but by each encounter and effort to recover and repair. Broken relationships leave gaping wounds, and when scars form, room is made for building new and reshaping old relationships. I believe none of this happens without design by the creator God, Who set the life seasons in motion, planning for scars to give rise to new growth; strength in healing from brokenness; beauty from barren canvases where we allow the master artist to create in us renewed hope and revived spirit. (Psalm 51:10) Just as there is beauty in the crystalized world outside my window even as the ice in its natural character does damage; and just as there is hope for my Magnolia to live on with its scars producing new growth and certainly new shape, we also can continue to be part of new growth and reshaping for others and ourselves after life’s storms. We are helpless to stop these changes of our seasons, but God is able to bring out of those seasons the beauty within us because it was He Who put it there in the first place. “It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves” Psalm 100:3. Give yourself the gift of allowing God through His word, to revive and reshape you after the storms of your seasons. “Then your light shall break forth like the morning, your healing shall spring forth speedily, and your righteousness shall go before you; the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.” (Isaiah 58:8)
The scul-uff, scul-uff, scul-uff of my house shoes is getting on my nerves, as is the beyond dry condition of my skin and hair. I am dulled by naps and headaches and ridiculous television shows, and so tired of trying to focus my eyes for anything useful. Winter doldrums are not my normal; but then what has been normal for the past couple years? Now that I am feeling ornery enough to complain, I do see light at the end of the tunnel. The Covid ‘fog’ is lifting; also the aura that surrounds the loss of a loved one is finding its place a few paces away from the immediate needs of everyday living. And for every complaint I have just uttered, I enjoy a dozen blessings. So the good does not nullify the bad, it just makes it easier to bear. The blessings do not blind us to the ills; the ills illuminate the blessings.
I rise up in the morning, thanking God the sunrise did not get lost; that I can see, and walk and hear, and feel the freezing air and the warm house. I thank God for everything from hot coffee to holly berries. I thank Him for the time we have had with loved ones; brief or extended, the time is a gift. I’ve spoken gratitude for modern medicine and vaccine and those who act out of compassion, or just passion, to accomplish better lives for us all. From dear friends to my fur baby, from my husband to my children to the sister my husband loves to taunt, our people are a blessing!
I complained this morning about a hawk who has just about left us without song birds, and watching those birds was my favorite winter pastime. A couple hours later a beautiful pair of cardinals visited the bird feeder. What a gift! I wouldn’t have appreciated this treat quite as much if not for the gap of time our feeders have sat lonely.
When your heart aches, or your earth quakes, consider the opposite. Likely there is something in contrast for which you have been thankful; something to hope for and plan simply because you are alive. The lonely times are real, and I hope brief. Soon life rekindles and revisits and the birds will return to the feeder.
“ Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?” (Matthew 6:26 NKJV)
First, a very happy birthday today to my 12 year old niece Isabella Claire, who has been a ray of sunshine in my life! The sun as well, is a beautiful gift from God today and I’m looking to it to continue healing. I am tired of feeling and looking like a slug; sick of taking care of only our household and not being able to reach out to others. Most thankful today for warm homes, drive-thru windows, and good medicine, I hope the Covid fog is about to lift.
The day I wrote the following was a good day, with a cherished visit from my brother’s daughter Sara and her toddlers as well as my sister and her young grandsons. The kids laughed and ran about so cute, having a ball, and the three of us, aunts and niece, had a good and much needed visit. The following day brought a new sadness to our family and one through which I am still processing via pen and paper. The events of the week hindered my tree-taking-down until the following Saturday afternoon; but the rest of my holiday decorations remain gathering dust, awaiting a time of wiping down and wrapping up. Snowmen stand smiling as if nothing changed; a small group of old world Santas seem oblivious to the calendar and uneaten candies have lost their taste for me. No longer fresh greenery shatters each time I pass it. In retrospect, I may reconsider the ‘bad luck’ in leaving a tree standing through the new year; not really sure.
Events of the past few weeks have left my mind and body craving newness but Covid is still pulling the reins on my strength, and sadness of my brother’s passing shadows my writing. In weak effort to pick back up and rejoin life, I am publishing this January 4 writing as I planned to do on that sweet morning.
January 4, 2022: Taking Down The Tree: Times of Tradition
We never used to leave the Christmas tree up into the new year. Mama said it was bad luck to have it up on New Years Day, but I doubt she believed it because she wasn’t normally a superstitious person. I realize now she simply needed it out of the way before getting back into her usual busy work week. I carry most of her traditions leading up to Christmas Day, which leaves me too tired to take it all down the week after, when I finally get to relax and enjoy it. (How DID she do it?) This year I’m really dragging it out because I am expecting company today who didn’t get to be with us on the 25th. I want her littles to get their gifts from under the tree. As I look upon the ornaments, dreading the process of taking it down, there’s one front and center taking me down memory lane so far I lost track of time.
Walking down the aisle of Kroger December 2009, I saw a rustic red wooden star with a fat little snowman painted in the center. Two points of the star were longer than the others, and they reached right into my heart. I stood holding it, sobbing, there in the middle of the grocery, thinking, “this – this very ornament is exactly what Mama would have given me this year” – I just knew it. Never before had I bought an ornament in the grocery, nor had I seen one I thought would have been given to me. But this one. This one was going home with me and now, Christmas 2021, it still adorns my tree and I can smile instead of cry.
I remember crying as I pushed my cart through Kroger a couple, maybe four or five times, I don’t know, I lost count actually that summer and autumn following her passing. I stand wondering this year, why. What about the grocery did that to me? Standing here today looking at my star, I just figured it out. For my entire childhood, from before I could remember, Mama and I did the grocery shopping together on Saturdays. That stopped of course after I married, but even then, if I dropped by on Saturday and she was gone, I knew I could find her at Owen’s Food Market, or the beauty shop.
Mama enjoyed recalling the times when I was a toddler, we would go ‘bumming’ on Saturday. We’d go to a dime store soda fountain in Cleveland, Ohio where she would lift me to a stool and we would share an ice cream soda. Afterwards, we’d get her shopping done. Her only day off for years was Saturday afternoon so the tradition continued, as two more children came along and we all four traipsed the aisles of Johnson’s Grocery in Murray, KY Saturday after Saturday. She bought ice cream and cokes for us to have a Saturday night treat, and I also recall getting to pick out a Little Golden Book for us on many of those trips.
Mama depended on credit in those days, so she remained loyal to one grocer at a time. When Mr. Johnson closed, she continued the tradition at Mr. Owen’s. They knew she would pay as soon as she could – and that’s as good a tradition as anyone needs – a good name.( “A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, Loving favor rather than silver and gold.” Proverbs 22:1 NKJV. ) Holding my star, I know she was the star of our Saturdays, our Christmases, and many of our traditions. I’m glad I broke the one about taking down the tree on new year’s eve. Otherwise I wouldn’t have had the pondering time today, leading me on the grocery cart ride as I figured out twelve years later why I felt such loss in the aisle, and why I latched onto my Christmas star. May you find your own beautiful stars living in the traditions and memories of love. Trisha
Colt and Jameson 1-4-22Isabella Claire, ruthless opponent! 1-1-22
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” James 1:17 (NKJV)
It is Christmas Eve morning, predawn, as I sip coffee in the glow of our Christmas tree. I wonder, will I get it all done in time to make more happy memories for my loved ones. Menus are ready for ingredients I’ve stowed away for weeks and I’m getting the usual anticipation jitters that I’ve forgotten something. There’s baking, arranging and cleaning to be done, but for now the house is quiet with sleep except for the snoring of my little lap dog. A star-lit sky is about to welcome dawn, and as I gaze upon our tree ornaments, I recognize the beauty of reflection.
A decorated tree is pretty by daylight, but the magic happens when the little white lights are glowing, and there in the dark, each ornament twinkles with life. They reflect memories of love and fun. In the stillness, my tree reflects the joys I received from each person who’s given these keepsakes. A mama bear reads to her baby bear by the tree lamp’s glow as she has since 1999. Thirteen little Hallmark ornaments are as happy as the day I received each one a year at a time, and I remember the precious little girl, and her mom who brought them to my door each year. My little clothespin ponies have shiny faces reflecting the love with which they were sent from West Virginia. Many snowmen from friends and family are dazzling as they dance in the lights and I reflect on the occasions and names of each one given. Flying cardinals and sitting cardinals reflect my mother’s love as well as that of those who’ve added to the collection, and the love they learned from her. Glass orbs with meaningful words twinkle and never grow old.
If I were a Christmas tree, would I reflect the true light, the Giver of all good and perfect gifts? Would God’s love, as He sent His Word to become the flesh and blood baby Jesus, glow in my life? Would I shine with the love Christ demonstrated for us as He gave the ultimate gift? If I were a Christmas tree, would I make others happy?
I’m sure the history of the Christmas tree is interesting, but honestly we don’t care. What it is to me, as it was to my parents, for as long as I can remember, is a place to store gifts we give each other. Most importantly, it is where the adornments of our Christmases are displayed; a first, someone’s last, treasured gifts, fond vacation memories, favorite things…all reflecting happy times and warming our hearts.
One of the first things I thought of in the wake of December’s rare tornado, was so many would have had their own ornaments out, vulnerable to destruction, and my heart ached for them. Life IS vulnerable; treasure it. My prayer for those folks is they are able to hold the happy memories in their hearts and keep making new ones.
Merry Christmas! In the midst of all life’s common and uncommon difficulties, may you make many warm memories – ones that reflect the joys in your life and entice others to seek the joy of the true Light.
” If these United States can be called a body, then Kentucky can be called its heart.” – Author: Jesse Stuart
“Then God saw everything that He had made,and indeed it wasvery good.” Genesis 1:31a
I admire how an author can bring to life the feel and the sights and sounds of a place, as a painter does on canvas. I was introduced to the writing of Jesse Stuart in the eighth grade by Ms. Ann Woods. She also taught me to never again say “Oh it’s just homemade”, but to say instead, “thank you, it was handmade just for me”. For these things, I love her still. Every year as the hickory nuts fall I remember the school grounds with the enormous trees and a wise teacher. And I do get the feeling all this nature was handmade just for me. Kentuckians are proud of their people, and their crafts and their land I think, like I am sure most are of any state they call home. But I am partial to what is familiar and comfortable to me. Like autumn in Kentucky.
On several days this month, I stood like a kid watching the circus leave town, and almost waved goodbye to the warmth of the scarlet colors and the November air. I believe I actually did blow a kiss toward the sky. Perhaps knowing Autumn is a fast moving train is one of it’s attractions. I anticipate her arrival with such gladness I hardly think about her departure leaving us cold in the wake.
Another of my favorite authors is Rick Bragg, though I believe he never mentions our state. Rick Bragg can almost make Alabama and Louisiana sound desirable, the way a new recipe in Southern Living can make plain old food more enticing. However, nothing he has said makes me want to move down there, not that we’ve been invited. I do like living on the edge – the edge between South and North – neither one, but the best of both. Do not misunderstand, I truly love Rick Bragg’s stories like I love my roses. It’s just the adjectives of Alabama are more like the thorns on the roses; but the rest of his stories, the people, are the vivid colors and fragrances of our rose beds. I do believe Mrs. Bragg raised a mighty fine writer who makes even hot muggy red clay of the South alive, rearing camaraderie and family like no other.
Nothing, however, about red clay, red tide football, nor red bulgy-eyed crawdads tempt me to abandon the sweet bluegrass of Kentucky. As I do not understand football, and being a basketball girl myself, I’m still holding out for a true blue and white rebound. I do love a good basketball game as much as I hate politics. So do not try to debate me out of my comfort zone. Anyway, ‘my old Minnesota home’ or ‘my old Alabama home” just doesn’t sound right, does it?
As far as northward is concerned, I have been up through Illinois and I saw their rich black soil, so rich the flowers bloom neon colors. Their crop yields require grain bins on each end of the field and large wagons in the middle to dump the overfill. But I wouldn’t trade our warm brown Kentucky earth for losing my ears to the wind I felt coming off the lake in Chicago one March.
I do envy any state’s close proximity to fresh seafood. You may actually have me on that one. I think though, I’ll just wait for a good shipment of shrimp, back here in the shade of our maple trees. Few things in my humble opinion, rival a drive along the Bluegrass Parkway, or skimming over the water of Kentucky Lake.
I consider myself southern, if I had to pick one over the other. But to me, the best locale descriptor is “I’m a Kentuckian” where we usually get to see a January morning poured out like marshmallow cream as far as the eye can see, and watch March flowers pop up thirty days later as we loft a kite in our short sleeves. Then, when a hoodie of heat and humidity slides over me, I hear someone from the deep south tell me how much worse it gets down there, and I catch my breath in the breeze that’s never more than a few days away. Spring and summer showers induce a radiance of fall color popping against a frosty October morning canvas. Never in Kentucky do the days drone into weeks because nothing is as changeable as Kentucky weather. Hardly ever a dull moment, and as they say, variety is the spice of life.
This time of year, (and what I really started out to say) I am starstruck by the deciduous display of gemstone colors. I’m sure pine trees are nice, when Alabama can get a wind singing through them, and pine needles do make great mulch (which still probably isn’t enough to get a lot out of red clay) but just give me the red, purple, gold and orange of maples and dogwoods, sourwood and sumac, poplars, sweetgums and hickories. While we do not claim to own the only beautiful trees in America, with nearly half our acreage in hardwood, it is a jaw-dropping, totally in-love experience to live a Kentucky autumn!
“For a great and effective door has opened to me, and there are many adversaries.” I Corinthians 16:9
NKJV
Who knocks on doors any more? With little yapping house dogs, the popular door bell, and (rudely, yes) car horns, there doesn’t seem to be much door knocking lately.
I was recently given a brass door knocker inscribed with my dad’s last name. As I began to count those of my paternal grandparents’ descendants who could possibly use it, the thought occurred to me how rarely we knock, literally and figuratively, on doors. Likewise, how often do we miss a knock on the door. The last time I knocked on a door I got sore knuckles and no answer.
Opportunity may come knocking; guests, maybe; hard times sure can come a knockin’ and the proverbial wolf at the door may have slipped through. Will I answer? When fear of the unknown halts my hand from opening, I’ll never know what stands on the other side. Open it anyway. It doesn’t mean I have to let it all in. Greet it bravely; hope for the best, embrace the potential to be the good someone needs. Perhaps we will be called outside our threshold of comfort; or we may seize an opportunity to draw someone from their cold circumstances into our warmth. Be kind and if kindness demands a parting of the way, be kind still. When the wolf is at the door, be thankful for the smallest things and he will flee from you. When the hand of goodness is extended to you, grab it. Offer grace to the not so good, for you may see it again someday, transformed by your grace.
“Let brotherly love continue. Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels.” Hebrews 13: 1-2
I have, no doubt, left the door shut for fear it might be ‘hard times’, inconvenience, or an adversary. I imagine Jesus was on the other side inviting me to go with Him on some mission of good. I probably felt pushed for time, or resources (aka money), or more than likely felt inadequate to meet the challenge. A less honorable, and probably more truthful excuse would be laziness, pure and simple. It takes effort to answer the door. But if we do invite opportunity in, she may require shuffling some furniture to accommodate her or she might have dirty feet. I’m sure the images each of us see on the other side of our figurative door, are all different. Asking a neighbor to bible study; overseas mission work; prison ministry; cleaning house for someone disabled; watching a stressed momma’s kids while she takes a break, and the list is endless. I hope and pray we can all open when opportunity knocks, extend hospitality and in turn find the joy of working elbow to elbow with Christ; feeding the hungry, housing the homeless, clothing the poor, tending the sick and visiting jails. (Matthew 25: 35-37)
As I hold the smooth shiny door knocker in my hand, I feel driven to find a home for it. Hopefully my musing the matter of doors will propel me toward opening my closed and careful world to be more like Jesus.
Adopt the pace of nature. Her secret is patience. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Okay, that’s it! As much as I love nature, I’m afraid I may be losing my patience. Now they are IN the SHOWER! There was a time when I could ignore the little green nuisance. I stayed out of their way; their stink stayed out of mine. However, stink bugs have now taken first place on my list of ‘most unwanted’. Almost as numerous this year as the infamous tassel flies (hover flies), they are making me crazy! The odor is awful, and never have we seen so many at once! Over, under and throughout everything, these green, gray and brown pests are poised on doorknobs and thresholds, waiting to rush inside. One morning as I was about to raise the umbrella on the patio table, there were dozens of the crusted creatures clinging outside and inside the umbrella. As a scene from a scary movie, their effect broke the promise of a pleasant morning. Thus began my urge to rant.
In all the years past, I could avoid the raw stench if I just left them alone; not so now. Simply watering my outdoor plants stirs a stink. As I walk into my she-shed I start dodging the little devils, where they fly from their trenches in the windows. Just raising and lowering the windows is perilous – phew! The final straw? The vexatious visitors are eating the last of our tomatoes. If you love tomatoes like we do, you know how precious those last gems in autumn are! As I was looking for an unblemished tomato, a member of their colony flew right into my glasses; didn’t even phase it!
You may be a step ahead of me, and already know their real name and purpose if there is one. I really do not care what name they go by; I call them pestilence, pernicious, and nearing pandemic proportions. Okay, I couldn’t help myself from googling a bit about the little armored aggravation. Discussing this with my son, he pointed out there seem to be more varieties this year. Turns out, it’s true; the brown marmorated stink bug (BMSB) has only been seen in North America since 1998 and has been making its way westward since. Accidentally introduced from Asia, their population has exploded in the eastern United States. More serious than the pungent odor and unsightly gathering in the windows, is the crop damage caused by stink bugs. We queried possible explanations for the greener edge around our crops, but as it turns out this is indicative of stink bug damage. For now they are satisfied to eat into the outer edges of a field only, but as the population grows, who knows! Something about their piercing the seed pod prevents proper maturing and drying of the plant, referred to as the ‘stay green syndrome’. I’m indeed sick of them, and evidently our wasps and birds, too, have found them too noxious to develop a taste for the unusual urchins.
Stink bugs do have a natural enemy; a tiny samurai wasp, also introduced from Asia, known to parasitize the BMSB eggs. Yay nature! Yay wasp! Nature does make a way. I was thinking what an unusual name for a wasp less than a tenth of an inch in size. But evidently, bigger isn’t always better, and this is our only warrior against the enemy for now. So I am squishing, thumping and vacuuming every stink bug I can and holding my breath as I do. Wouldn’t we love to see a. natural enemy for the coronavirus! For that I am not holding my breath!
As for a stink bug purpose, I found none. Other than serving as a reminder of the pestilence sent upon Egypt one time in the form of frogs; indoors, outdoors, in bed and bath, frogs invaded the sanity of everyone and were intended to show God’s power and get the pharaoh’s attention. (Chapter eight of the book of Exodus) Well, this modern day malady has my attention! I am cheering for the Samurai, in hopes she will get rid of these stinkers and make life a little sweeter.
brown marmorated stink bug where they are hiding in the folds of my patio umbrella (note the white sections of the antennae)
If satisfaction came as naturally to us as persistence does to nature, we’d never have a moment of discontent. Awaking to a nearly perfect Labor Day morning, I chose to observe the holiday with a little R&R and maybe something fun thrown in as well. My good husband was taking care of his breakfast and started mine too, so my goal already seemed obtainable. After our morning devotional outdoors, I was annoyed with myself for feeling a mild dissatisfaction growing. Maybe it was knowing a lot of folks had plans to make memorable use of the amazing weather and the last summer holiday. Feeling a tad “unplanned” I guess, and aware of Covid precautions, I could have become my own obstacle to a satisfying day. The only thing I had thought of to do on this warm clear day was kayaking, which requires first, making arrangements for getting to my kayak, and secondly, I would have to actually leave home. I didn’t feel that happening. I realized what I really wanted was to eat in my favorite restaurant (ten steps out the back door) and explore my own natural habitat for entertainment. As I write this in fact, the Goldfinches are putting on quite a show of song and dance.
The only hint at work I did, to assure we get a good nights sleep, was to ‘strip the bed’, as my mother used to say, to wash and hang the sheets out to dry. But for me, this is such a pleasurable thing, I’d feel a little guilty calling it work.
The main portion of the day has been spent in a four-acre plot left from a property split where we bought a small strip of land adjacent to our farm, which my husband has mowed and hired someone to clean out a densely grown property line. This left the unmown portion belonging to my sister and her husband where I thought I had spied a number of milkweed plants. Knowing the bushhog would soon invade, I began my hunt for the monarch and its host plant. To my delight, we discovered a butterfly haven! I learned to identify the milkweed plant and discovered several other beautiful plants as well. A tall wildflower with dark purple blooms, a lavender colored ageratum, also quite tall; and an airy pinkish bloom filling in the gaps between the purples, all grew around the milkweed, now in its seed pod stage. Some still had dried blooms drooping, but most were sporting their seed pods which in themselves are an eyeful of interesting detail!
Milkweed with seed pods
Probing into the life cycle of the Monarch butterfly and the dependence on its host plant I found an awesome story of persistence and patience. Eating and molting, webbing and waiting, metamorphosis in four stages, are all done in perfect timing. The result is an intricately decorated fluttering beauty who begins the process all over again until the early autumn generation makes its trek southward to Mexico where they are protected from cold until the journey back to its beloved milkweed where she lays her eggs of hope for another generation. Our son who is always up for outdoor exploration, helped me transplant a few of the milkweed plants to a location nearby that won’t be disturbed by spray nor mower next year. I want to give the returning ones next spring the satisfaction of finding their habitat much as they left it.
I was not disappointed with the butterfly population. True to the adage of the elusive butterfly, it was only after we sat still among them that we were visited with an explosion of color and activity. Bright orange, black and white Monarchs, Eastern Black Swallowtails and Silver Spotted Skippers were everywhere. Others as well which I didn’t take time to identify were flitting about enjoying the sunshine and nectar. The more we saw, the more beautiful they seemed to me.
We added to our day with takeout food brought to my patio (aka favorite restaurant); a short drive with our fur baby; and (shocking!) a trip to the garden by my husband who cut the okra for me and brought a nosegay of four different colored zinnias, dark purple, lavender, orange and red-orange. Only in nature do I like these vibrant colors together. Only in nature could I have found the satisfaction I was seeking this morning, as real contentment wrapped the evening in the sunset’s glow. We have been blessed with a world of sights and sounds to please the senses – right here in our backyards, our own natural habitat.
I hope your Labor Day was a delightful close of summer, safe and sound, and oh so satisfying!
Each year I promise myself and anyone concerned, not to make myself one with the outdoor world as Spring turns into Summer. Spring has a gravitational pull like few others, and only becomes stronger as summer dawns. I truly intend each year to divide my time wisely between outdoor activity and indoor obligations. Just as surely as the sun rises earlier and earlier, I become more and more negligent of my pledge. Actually, ‘derelict’ may be a more adequate description of my summer self. To make things worse this year, our backyard population of House Wrens is captivating.
Now, I’m fully aware of one’s reality being one’s perception, so if for some inexplicable reason you aren’t fascinated by all this nature activity or if you do not hear the call of the wild, perhaps you can relate to some other distraction keeping you from being all you think you should be. You will likely think I am loony (and you’d be partly correct) but it’s kind of that trash and treasure idea – it’s all in our perception. My reality, I’m not getting any work done and it’s nature’s fault!
Thinking the rainy days would be my redemption time to clean, or write, or even squeeze in some extra reading, was folly. I refuse, however, to accept all the blame. April showers brought us amazing May flowers. Obviously the birds and bees thought so too, for I have been like a kid at Christmas watching our feathered friends. I go from fascination to frustration as I watch and defend them. My most recent angst has been a Sparrow Hawk who seems to think our Purple Martins came from Brazil just for his or her benefit. Judging by the tenacity, I’d say it’s a she, with a family of her own to feed. That’s beside the point. Aren’t there enough rodents out and about to feed a host of hawks?! Seriously, I’m about a shotgun shell away from committing a crime! On Sunday morning we witnessed said hawk taking an adult Martin down, in our backyard, from her own apartment house. I cried. The dirty bird better be glad it was Sunday! But I digress; I was about to tell you about the wrens, wasn’t I.
Six feet from my sunroom window hangs what remains of a wind chime. It is fashioned like a retro coffeepot, with a birdhouse door and a tiny little awning over the perch. The wrens found it desirable so I cut off the chimes and let them have it. This year it became the chosen one; of the dummy nests created by Mr. Wren, Mrs. Wren chose this one for real. I’ve been sitting in the window, rain or shine, watching them finish, fend off and feed. They are adorable. Other than one seeming a bit smaller than the other, the male and female are identical. They, and another couple near my rose garden, have sung their little hearts out all spring and still sing about anything from “here’s another bug my dear” to “oh what a beautiful morning”! As I write, one of the coffeepot residents has landed on a shepherd’s hook, looks into my window and sings WITH bug in beak, as if to say, “be sure you mention how hard I work”! As one waits for the other to feed their babies, his little wings are in a constant flutter, allowing him to hover a moment for his turn to hand off the groceries. Then he is off on another cross-country mission (across the soybean field to the fence row) for another haul.
From early spring until now, we have enjoyed, besides the swallows and wrens, a daily visit from geese and an occasional Great Blue Heron to our pond, so I get to see them from the sunroom too. We have had gold, purple and house finches; Robins, Mockingbirds, Bob Whites, Red-winged Blackbirds, Bluejays, Cardinals, Hummingbirds and the prettiest little Chipping Sparrows. My favorite is the Eastern Bluebird who has rights to a box I check and protect the best I can. These are the backyard guests that keep me spellbound.
I hate the English house sparrow so much that I will make no further mention of its name. Starlings have been less of a pest this year, but still do some damage. And now the hawk. But isn’t that life? We each see and strive to meet our own needs. Why oh why can’t we all be the gentle melodious Bluebird who just takes care of his own, instead of the screaming predator who kills and maims members of its own class. I know, I know, it’s nature. Not even Mother Nature can please everyone every time. Still, given the pleasures versus the pain, I think she is quite a lovely lady, our Mother Nature!
As I close, a Goldfinch whistling “hey you, hey you”, has joined our wrens in the Crepe Myrtle that shades and protects the coffeepot house. They are completely at peace with each other and my heart swoons. It is nearly noon, and my floors are tracked with tennis shoe prints and dry grass clippings; the furniture is dusty and I have no meal planned. The lawn needs mowing today so there is a multitude of clover and dandelion blooms making happy bees out there. Blame it on the rain. Oh no! An EHS just attempted to enter the wren’s abode! Just as I ran to knock on the window to scare it off, a beautiful blaze of blue swooped down and did the job for me. After a few minutes of peering out her port hole, Mrs. Wren escapes to continue doing what she does, safe and sound. Bluebird, you are my hero!!
Thursdays used to be my productive days. I’m afraid I’ve done it again! Happy watching!
The Thought Pixie brought along the Regret Rascal, arriving just in time to block the Sandman and so I began one of those nights. You know the kind, when every debate you had put away, comes back out to play. Good thoughts, bad thoughts, hopes, regrets; doesn’t matter because once they get on a roll, sleep just doesn’t have a chance. My solution is a cup of Sleepytime tea and a pen in my hand. You know, if you give those random thoughts free range, there’s no telling how long they will romp and stomp. I’ve found intentional thinking by reading or writing will either chase away, or corral them to a manageable level. Even though I am still awake, the effort seems to bring the brain to the point of resting sooner than lying there fighting demons in the dark. The writing usually brings me around to some point where most of those thoughts are connected. Such was this night, two days prior to Mother’s Day.
As if by an unseen force, my hand reached for Mama’s old Hallmark tea mug with a matching lid for steeping. It lives on a shelf, at eye level, where I can see it, but never use it for fear I’ll finish breaking what I started years ago when I dropped the lid. It broke in half, and is glued together with a dark scar, but I treasure it for a couple reasons. First just because it was Mama’s and it was given to her by one of her friends. I can just see her dipping the tea bag up and down in the hot water, then placing the cover to steep the tea and finally, placing the bag to dry on the upturned lid while she sipped her Earl Gray. Rarely ever did I visit her kitchen or den without seeing a dried tea bag where she left it. Secondly, the message written on the cup would probably have been her motto had you asked her. “Life’s truest happiness is found in the friendships we make along the way.” So, in anticipation of this Mother’s Day, I drank my herbal tea from the little blue friendship mug as I wrote to Mama.
Even good things can be broken. Good broken things can be repaired if we care enough to do so. God uses broken things; why shouldn’t we? Although they probably will never be the same, they may be even better – like this tea cup lid. It’s better because it has a new purpose: to remind me that broken is not always forever. It reminds me that people too, are breakable, repairable, and often better than new.
Hearts, relationships, a promise or teacup
once broken, will leave a scar.
Will one see light shine through the cracks
Or will one see a mar?
Finding hope or substance to patch, stitch or mend
Will prove the thing to have been worthy
When love comes peeking in.
Thank you Mama for being my friend, and for teaching us how to find friendship in life. Happy Mother’s Day to all the amazing women we call sisters, daughters, mothers and friends! Trisha
Not because it is luxuriously accommodating; no, that was the Inn on Biltmore. Simply because it is ours. If there is any comparison to be done, it is only to say, it is better, because it suits us just fine. I found our beautiful Burning Bush hailing from the lawn and Brandywine Maple leaves raining from tree to ground. Our red leaves are no brighter, but no less striking, than those of other areas. But these leaves are here; our leaves. That makes them more appreciated; no prettier, just more appreciated. The drizzle of rain here is nothing spectacular, but so welcome! While in North Carolina, we experienced their severe draught, with disappointment at seeing very little autumn color. Other than a splash here and there of dull yellow, there was a brilliant red oak, common name Scarlet oak. 
They rather enjoy the dry conditions and were strutting their stuff! Compared to expectations, the lack of color could be a letdown. But compared to the rest of the landscape, those oaks were outstanding! And more appreciated than ever. Otherwise, leaves clung to trees drained of color, and not all the brown fields were due to harvest. A cloud of dust followed a John Deere combine as the soybean crop was being harvested on the Biltmore Estate. Rows of sunflowers surrounding the soybeans hung their big brown faces toward the ground, gasping for a break from heat and dust. 
I still feel dizzy just thinking about it. While we slowed down to a new speed limit, there was no stalled traffic and we had opportunity to really see that part of the foothills. On life’s journey, try a detour; even if a forced one. With a different pace you may experience some amazing stuff. Assuredly, if we let God plan the route and we pack according to His instruction, we’ll be prepared for those unknowns – as much as is possible.
If on the other hand, they are sure, and true, they will lead to the good shepherd Who knows every sheep by name. If my prints help someone to recognize the good shepherd’s voice, they will hear and follow Him. “When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.” (John 10:4-5 NIV)
Trisha's Coffee Break 