“See how great a forest a little fire kindles” (James 3:5)

Don’t we hate it when a good cup of coffee gets ruined by  cream that’s gone bad? Um, excuse me, may I have another cup of coffee please?

It seems that when I most need to write, I resist, unable to unravel the knots of thought about my concerns. There was a time (a much simpler time) when problems sent me straight to pen and paper, writing away my woes and as I wrote, the issue would spin itself out.  Other times, I just read God’s word, prayed, cried a little, and busied my way through it. Over time I have become blessed with three prayer warriors on whom I can call for their petitions to the Father on my behalf, as well as family members’ behalf.  God will know the matter for which they are praying. His word does comfort me, and when I am still and receptive, the Holy Spirit gives me understanding that makes sense of it all. Yet, I know that until I begin to write, the cloud over my head will not completely disperse. You writers know what I mean.

“Angry words, oh let them never, from the tongue unbridled slip. May the heart’s best impulse ever check them ere they soil the lip.” I always liked singing that song in church services. Maybe the soiled lip is the least of the problems. One can ask for forgiveness, bring out the old bar of soap, get a new cup of coffee, and moving on can be done. But it’s the damage done to another’s heart that is the most dreadful result. Then the forest of James 3:5 is torched. Probably, knowing you owned the words that hurt, but didn’t discharge them into the REAL source of your anger, is what makes forgiving self so difficult. I observed one such situation a few years ago, and though I scribbled thoughts for myself then, until I stopped reeling I couldn’t turn it into a lesson to live by or an encouragement for others. However, time heals much, writers block included.

Seeing people we love throw poisonous spears into each other is painful beyond description. Words echo as from a black  malodorous cavern. Words spoken in haste – the kindling that inflames – can be explained believably as “I didn’t really mean it”; but those same words from another are taken straight to heart. It’s a double standard. I truly believe neither side really intended to hurt the other, nor did either really mean all they said. And, unfortunately something may have been simmering below the surface to produce the toxic emesis of words.

People who are passionate about something, like maybe saving the mosquitos in Quebec, or whatever, can get pretty fired up if their ideals are challenged. They can quote all the right research and reasons why this is a deserving mission; and just let someone swat a mosquito in front of them –  you’ll see a sudden explosion, without a glimmer of regret.  There is a way to avoid that scenario. It’s called the golden rule. Just be considerate. Use the mosquito spray when the activists aren’t looking. Just kidding. But not really. My point is, to not provoke someone when it is known that they are wrapped in the issue.

And then to put the shoe on the other foot, the individual who cannot tolerate a missing mosquito, aka a differing opinion, must realize we all have our reasons – and so to respect the difference, especially if on the other’s turf – is also the golden rule. So, if you must kill a mosquito, please do so minimally, outside of our designated area of Quebecian qualified quindecennnial protected species. Or something like that. Anyway, when it comes to conflict a little kindness goes a long way toward one’s own agenda, not to mention protecting relationships, and human relationships are above all, valuable commodities. More valuable, I’d say than any issue most of us would be toting in our over-inflated bag of ego.

Isn’t it strange how one word, or accusation fuels another? Before long no-one is addressing the actual reason for the argument. It gets to be a shameful shouting match, with old resentments brought up (that simmering below the surface I mentioned) and then each injury brings out another insult. As much as we want to forget, some things just won’t scoot out easily. Pride perhaps has more to do with reluctance to ask forgiveness which is harder to do than  forgiving. Even after and if amends are made, that awful echo is there. How do people forget? Short of dementia, it is impossible to pretend the words weren’t out there. And then the hearts of good people struggle with  “did he/she mean it” or “will they be able to forget what I said?” So both sides go away feeling less important than a mosquito, and guilty of causing such feelings. Then satan has had his way. Feeling lowly, guilty, unworthy – those are the playing fields of the devil. He knows that those feelings keep us from approaching the Lord’s throne of grace in the confidence and faith that a child of the King should.

I began to realize that the situation near to my heart was no different from most of the world. But that too hurts – we are not to be like the ‘world’. We are called out, as children of God, to be examples of Christ’s love. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. (Matthew 7:12 paraphrased)

Pray without ceasing (I Thess. 5:17). Ask without doubting. Love without conditions. Forgive as your Father in Heaven has forgiven you. “Be angry and sin not” (Ephesians 4:26).

So all is not lost. We can pour a new cup of coffee; check the cream next time before pouring it; and it only takes two seconds to say “I’m sorry, please forgive me”.