“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24
As we’ve all agreed, children can say and do the cutest things; from embarrassing to enlightening, we never know quite what’s coming next. Their words may not be exactly wise as we think of wisdom from ages of experience, but they are so honest that their words are like sparks off the flame of wisdom. They are often observant of the little details we miss, while we’re looking at the big hurried picture. And just when we need it most, they wrap a bad day in a nougat filled chocolate shell that we carry in our hearts for days.
My daughter was blessed with a pretty smile, not too big, not at all small like mine, just right. Someone once told her she had a nice big mouth (whatever that meant) to which she bristled and announced, “Uh-uh! My mouff is nittle nike my Mama’s!” (Interpretation: my mouth is little like my…) Oh my! What a compliment when your beautiful little girl wants to believe she is just like her mother. It was sweet to my soul to know it never bothered her that my mouth wasn’t what society says is the going thing.
As you might guess, Stephanie had a little speech thing going on until first grade. You’ve no doubt heard that children learn what they live, so we never made fun of her speech, but instead found it rather charming and she learned acceptance in the world rather than bitterness. Her world was made up of a big brother, parents, and boy cousins. It was rare that she had girls to play with until school days, so the thought of getting to go where there might be girl peers was exciting for her. Before online shopping, Stanley and Tupperware parties were a common thing, especially for young moms who hadn’t already accumulated fifteen of everything. One evening as I prepared to attend a Stanley (or some product) party, I offered as I always did to take her with me, or would she rather stay home. Her sweet answer said she was thinking “what’s in it for me?” but was it cookies? No. Nor was it cake or punch. It wasn’t the games she had observed either. And, she’d probably had enough of Mommy for the day. Her question was “Will dem be any nittle gills dare Mama?” (Will there be any little girls there?) Companionship with peers is what she wanted. I told her I really couldn’t say, to which she replied, “OK, I wanna go with you anyway”. People obviously mattered most to her, even if it was just her Mama. I suppose if I’d been looking closely, really seeing, I could have predicted that she would be in public relations as a career. I think it would be a nicer world if we grownups looked at every opportunity through the eyes of friendship more than materialism.
One more little Stephanie moment: a moment of calling her daddy out on a technicality. Somehow, he managed to take us out for a restaurant meal about every two weeks, and his favorite was fish. Our little girl always filled up quickly and felt the need to stretch out, so it wasn’t unusual to see her lying across my lap and her chair while we finished our meal. But sometimes she had to wait until we were home and stretch out across her daddy in the recliner. One such recliner evening followed a nice pizza meal, but daddy’s full tummy denied her stretch across his lap. Out of habit, his response was, “Honey, daddy’s full of fish”, to which she cried, “But daddy! We had pizza!” She intended to keep him honest, if nothing else, as if that nulled his excuse. Technicalities!
Another little sweetie pie around five years ago, was chattering to her baby doll and following me around the house. At age three or four, she was oblivious to my quickly changing clothes. All at once she looked up mid sentence and gasped, “Aunt Trisha! You have on pretty panties!” I think she never expected anyone but little girls to have pretty designs on their undies. She went right back to playing without missing a beat, and as I said “Thanks”, I thought how much more observant children are than we think; and way more honest than we may want them to be. How many moms have turned red because their word was contradicted by the great knowledge of a four or five
year old? Their innocence makes their eyes sparkle; their appreciation for small things dresses them in excitement. Their humility makes them say things like “that’s okay” and really mean it if you step on their toes or forget a promised bowl of frozen blueberries. They love everybody, without prejudice. Thank you God.
My final ‘sweet thing’ memory for this post is of the only young man who has ever asked me to dance. Talk about no prejudice, who but a four year old would ask a much taller girl going gray, without makeup, in old play clothes, to dance? I have (a gift from my husband many years ago) a crank up RCA Victrola which plays the old 78 records and the volume is controlled by how open or closed the doors of the cabinet are. As a toddler, Ryan was fascinated by the crank handle. After learning that some fun music from the 30’s could be heard, he would ask me to play it for him. My reward one day, for obliging him was the sweetest, as he opened the Victrola doors wide, held out his hand and said, “wanna dance?” We waltzed around my living room to “How Do You Talk to an Angel” in a cloud of happy. Years later at a wedding reception, I felt a tap on my shoulder, and a much taller pre-teen Ryan asked me again, though more shyly, “do you want to dance”? My heart soared around the room even though the music stopped by the time we’d barely begun to dance. Consideration for an old friend cannot be overrated!
Friends, if we want to sweeten the souls and bring new life to old bones, just speak sweetly, and honestly. Consideration, compliments, and kindness go a long long way!
The cemetery was as silent yesterday as the gray drizzle hanging in the air. My daughter and I had come to place new flowers on my mother’s grave and to honor her with a moment of silence, standing over the plaque bearing her name. I did not cry over it as I knew she, herself, was not there, but in perfect peace, somewhere else; paradise some of us call it. I was able to feel immense gratitude for the life she lived, and for the time it was shared with us. We left the gloom just one purple bouquet brighter, and a mist in my eyes only because I would have loved to tell her once again that I love her. I wouldn’t wish here back here with all the bumps and bruises of this life.
Trisha's Coffee Break 