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It seems everyone wants to bellyache these days about something. I don’t know if it’s the weather (because we complain about that too; too hot, too rainy, too windy, too still) or if they’ve been social distancing so long they’ve forgotten how to be nice. There seems to be a protest about everything now, from masks to monuments. One person wants more protection while another wants lawlessness. Folks are running down our leaders while the leaders themselves can’t even find enough common ground to hold up one another. From city councils to international relations, everyone wants to be heard but no one wants to hear. News is filled with snarling, hissing and snapping like a room full of sore tailed cats and junkyard dogs. Bullies are forging ahead while bystanders gasp and do nothing. Now, far be it from me to complain, but I’ve about had it; only not with any of the above.

I tolerate heat and humidity with a bandana, a Yeti full of ice water and a couple showers a day. Combatting weeds, grass and European House Sparrows requires no mask; but the behavior of some grocery patrons makes me glad my expressions are masked in that battle. I handle the news with the off button. I turn a deaf ear to the political propaganda because their behavior speaks louder than words anyway. I tolerate the protesting as long as it’s peaceful because, well, it is one of our freedoms, and after battling my own back yard, I have no energy left to argue anyway.  I am not married to any monument nor flag; just my husband and my Lord and it’s a full time job explaining one of them to the other. In the face of Covid, I’ve turned green lights on the front of our Kentucky home and made a few batches of masks and tried to send some encouraging words to shut-ins. So I try to be a positive person, so help me I do! But today my patience has reached its limit. Corn tassel flies. I feel like I’m swearing when I say their name. Temperatures of “feels like 101” did not drive me in. Whether rain or sunshine, there are always blessings within and reasons to thank God.  Wasps, no problem; there’s a spray that shoots higher than our second story window. Ants, put down the Terro or call the exterminator. But there is no relief – NONE – from these pestering tassel flies! It has been suggested that a fan will drive them away. I took a standing fan onto the porch, turned it on high and the longer it ran the more tassel flies I had coming in for relief from the heat. That incessant tickling as they hover over my skin is unbearable. The military should capture millions of these for torture tactics, but I don’t guess that’s a thing now. Come to think of it, maybe Nancy and Donald should come sit on my front porch and fight these little pests and then they’d be glad to go back to solving government issues, contending only with one another.

Google says these minuscule monsters are helpful as they eat the excess pollen from corn stalks and aid in aphid control. I protest. I believe we could find another use for all that pollen. Leave the aphids for those adorable ladybugs who do not hover over me until I surrender the porch to them. No doubt the corn tassel flies will stay until it is horsefly season. Then I’ll really have reason to complain!! Y’all be calm and summer on.