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Trisha's Coffee Break

~ Moments and the people who live them.

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Monthly Archives: January 2023

Remembering Dr. Cook

30 Monday Jan 2023

Posted by trishascoffeebreak in In Memory

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Dr. Cook, memories, obstetrics, roses

As paths cross throughout life, some prints make a deeper impact than others, on each of us. It is likely those who first held our children, made some of those deeper ones.

The ability to touch hearts comes in many forms, like song writing or painting, but the skill of letting others know they matter, or that they are cared for, may be the most rare form. Eventually we are all going to be known and remembered for something.

There is much to recall by many, and here are a few of my memories. I will remember red pickup trucks, roses, and babies, and the encouraging statement “you’re doing a much better job of this than I could do!” for mothers-to-be who were in their pushing stage; but one very important quality Dr. Gene Cook had was taking an extra moment for people. Time, a valuable commodity in a physician’s life, can make a world of difference. A moment of thoughtfulness, like a sympathetic phone call, or writing down the name of a hearing aid specialist for an obstinate nurse who blamed his soft voice instead of her aging ears, was kind, but even kinder was his smile at her denial. That’s just one of a hundred things I remember.

How many reassuring words from Dr. Cook, calmly escorted a patient through her pregnancy? How many supporting affirmations were given to the heart broken families who waited but did not conceive? How many warm hugs and words of ‘well done’ kept a nurse on her tired feet? Never too busy to hear an update or concern for patients’ changes or lack thereof, he was swift to reply, swift to appear. Many unit clerks and nurses’ jobs were made easier by Dr. Cook’s clear orders and perfect handwriting. As the computer age rolled in, so did his efforts to help us merge the old with the new, one way or the other. (Only the nurses will get that last statement.)

While we have struggled these last few days to wrap our heads around the reality of our loss, indeed our community’s loss, we have sobbed with sadness, shaken our heads with disbelief, and remembered with fondness the man Gene Cook, the physician Dr. Charles Eugene Cook, our friend, Doctor Cook. Each person who was privileged to meet him will have their own memories, and impressions. To be so soft spoken and humble, he sure made an impact. I can see him now, hands clasped and elbows on knees, sitting in a rolling chair at the nurses’ station, and gently turning his head side to side as a denial of any accolades for himself. He would instead, be watching for the “okay” that the surgery crew was ready for him to enter the cold sterile room where he would quickly and adeptly bring a warm screaming life into the world, by way of cesarean section. There was no waiting on him; he was johnny-on-the-spot! Or, he would be donning gown and gloves, having orchestrated long hours of a successful labor and the eventual delivery of one more new life. Whether one who was first touched by Dr. Cook’s capable hands, or the grateful new parent, or a fellow care provider so glad for the intense concern for excellent outcomes, or just a nurse who was thankful Dr. Cook had her back, we can all say thank you; from the heart, thank you Dr. Cook!

Of all my memories, I want to share this one because it speaks to me of Dr. Cook’s attitude in general. It didn’t take long to find we shared the enjoyment of tending roses. He appreciated the beauty of the few nice specimens I took to share at work, and I appreciated his knowledge of rose care and of varieties. He often asked, “How are your roses doing?” When the virus we called ‘witches broom’ struck so many, wiping out entire gardens for some, we lamented our concerns for it. One day after his asking about my roses, I began fussing about a particular bush I had not pruned in the winter and the resulting growth was quite gnarly; poorly blooming and just a mess. He then stopped me by saying, “Never bad-talk your roses”. Exactly. And Dr. Cook lived by that rule as far as I ever knew. His roses, his people, whatever he cared about may have gotten constructive criticism, but there was no ‘bad-talking’ them. His level of care for his patients was, well, on a scale of one to ten, a twelve. I believe I can speak for others perhaps who worked behind the scenes with him, and beside him, in assuring you he always wanted the best, not just okay, but the best outcome. For everyone. Every time.

My sincere sympathy goes out to the family of Dr. Gene Cook. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Matthew 5:4

Standing In The Gaps of Broken Hearts

05 Thursday Jan 2023

Posted by trishascoffeebreak in Encouragement, The unexpected

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

broken, Faith, gaps, Grief

I knew this week would be hard but I just didn’t dream how hard. The gaps in my broken heart haven’t healed and with the light God shines through them, there also seeps tears and doubts. I dreaded the anniversary of my little brother’s passing one year today, the fifth of January. Regrets are mean spiteful things; yet we hang onto them even though God tells us to let go and let Him heal. I worried about my little sister, my nieces and nephew, and I was concerned that I, myself, would hibernate to Kathy’s couch to sob into my grief. But life had other ideas. The sudden passing of the young and vibrant Mandi Murdock whose husband and his family have been a part of our life since, well, forever, has bolted me upright. My heart is so broken for the Murdock and Darnall families that it dried up my tears before they could fall for my own losses. Well, that is, other than the moments the radio was accidentally shifted to Spa station this morning and started playing “Before The Gates of Heaven” ( an instrumental, but wow, what a title!); then later “Last Date” was drifting off the piano keys of Kent Hewitt (I think) similar to Floyd Cramer. And that’s a whole other story I can’t get into now. So I called Janette DeWitt to check on her but instead, I just blubbered how I need not listen to the radio on edgy days and how heavy my heart was. She understood. So well. She listened. She stood in the gap where I had lost it, until God put it back. That’s what friends do.

Earlier today there was also the visitation and funeral for a lady who was the caregiver for her husband, a friend to many and seemed to always have a smile ready. She will be missed greatly by her family. Many were there to stand in the gap for Carolyn Hargrove’s loved ones and make the burden of goodbye somewhat lighter.

Tomorrow, as Kyle says his final goodbye for this life, to the other half of himself; as Luke tries to imagine life without his mother, as he so recently had to do with his big sister, I try myself to understand what we are supposed to think and do when we want so desperately to help, but cannot make sense of it. When Mandi was abruptly separated from her family, from earth ties, from lesson plans; when a young son grapples for understanding, along with grandparents who are trying to take in air that must feel stifling with palpable grief, we who know and love them want to help. We know full well words cannot explain our sorrow, nor heal. So we hover; we collectively stand in the gap – share the grief – stand even from our own homes in silent respect, kneeling in prayer, sitting in a search of God’s word for answers. That’s when it came to me; we hover, gathered together in spirit, surrounding these beautiful people to fill a gap; a gap created by life situations and one that the evil one will take advantage of if left open. Loved ones surround us, quite unlike the gap in the city’s wall of Ezekiel’s time where no man would stand in the gap, and so the city was not saved. We stand with each other, with this family, so that hopelessness cannot take over. We hold up the Holy Spirit, brought by our hearts filled with Him, to comfort and keep hope alive for better days and a future alive with hope for eternity. Filling the gaps where God is working through us to keep mourning souls from despair; so grief will not overtake them. My prayer Lord is, use us as we stand physically and in spirit surrounding the Murdock and Darnall families, knowing nothing of our own ability can get them through, but allowing Your power of hope and healing to be magnified through us as we stand in the gaps. Keep the circle of faithful friends strong, where faith, hope and love will be standing, and doubt, despair and darkness will be shut out. As You ready them to face the days ahead, though their gaps will never be filled, the love of the Lord and those standing in the gaps, will keep them safe. Amen.

Memories of Kenzie and of Mandi, and her presence with the Lord where her daughter is, will also stand in the gaps for all who knew and loved them. That’s how I see it. Love, Trisha

Happy New Year

01 Sunday Jan 2023

Posted by trishascoffeebreak in Celebrating, Encouragement

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Tags

gratitude, New Year, seasons, trust

Happy New Year friends! I suppose ‘happy’ is subjective, as well as all inclusive for the many things we wish one another as we closed chapter 2022, and began a new chapter, 2023. Even as I proclaimed ‘happy new year’ to my family last night, I knew we meant so much more. It includes the momentary “let’s celebrate the auld lang sine in a festive spirit”, but from me to them, and to you, it means more fully, “bless your hearts for surviving and thriving the past year, and may you reach bravely and blessed into the abyss of yet unknown”.

Most people who enjoy writing, feel they must say something about anything new I guess. So, with a fresh cup of gingerbread coffee in hand, may I add my two cents worth of ‘happy new year’. With that, I wish I could take all your anxiety, fear and hardships, tie them in a Hefty bag and send them out with our Friday waste pick up. But then, that is God’s job, and He, with all wisdom and clarity of the big picture, is the best at it.

I have been guilty in years past, of saying I was so glad a particular year was over and welcomed a year with a new number. As if any time frame could recognize our expectation for a number on our calendar to alter a thing. No, one day just follows another, and it is up to us to be grateful for every single one of them and to give each day our best shot. I’m not real good at it, but a runner doesn’t have to win to know what she needs to do better to win, right?

As I clear away the Christmas clutter (that which I thought was so warm, cheery and bright when I put it there!), I feel my head clearing as well. Finding the floor again and parting with things I couldn’t before, is liberating. Closing and sealing each box or tote, giving it a place on some shelf, and wiping the dust away makes me breathe a sigh of relief. Is that how we feel about the worn out year? What started 12 months ago as a bright and shiny new opportunity, has lost its luster, and feels ragged and rough, ready for the dumpster. Maybe my lesson to self is not to set those expectations too high; nor to feel disappointed because some issue didn’t magically change by the stroke of midnight December 31. A new year doesn’t promise perfection. Storms will rage; illnesses persist; interest rates rise and children still fall. But praise the Lord, these are temporary, and Jesus is still Lord of all. I am so thankful I can pray to a God Who listens and will never grow tired and weary of our petitions. I praise God for wanting to be our rock, our healer, our guide back home when we stray. Time fails us because we put our trust in it, instead of the one who controls it.

My wish for you all is as James 4:8 says, “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” May you be blessed with the desire to know more fully the One Who gave us life, taught us to love, and loves to see us happy. Trisha

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Patricia Ward, Trisha's Coffee Break, 2013-2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Patricia Ward, Trisha's Coffee Break, with appropriate direction to the original content.

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