There are in nature, often what we call cruelty, things that break our hearts. These aren’t chosen by a black heart to cause pain, but instead they are just the way of survival, of replenishing the earth and natural happenstance. Fortunately, there are many more instances of beauty and complementary behavior; things that make our hearts soar. One such occurrence was mine to witness on the morning of February 1 this year.
The ground was white with a solid coat of sleet, sunshine glinting off icy limbs, and my feeders were partially occluded by ice and sleet. The Dark-eyed Juncos and House Finches were sharing time with Blue Jays, Cardinals and Song Sparrows, dining at the feeder trays, and hopping around beneath the feeders to scoop up seeds which fall from feeding activity above. As I watched them, it was as always, each man, or bird, for himself, but then the sweetest thing happened. To my surprise, I saw a little round fat Junco feed a morsel, beak to beak, to a slim red-hooded House Finch. No more than four feet from my window, they were perched atop the shepherds hook from which hung the feeders, and there was no mistaking what I was seeing. Well, nature never claimed to be boring. My research has confirmed this to be a rare bird behavior indeed.
In more normal activity, a Bluebird couple watched from outside the circle, along with the Robins. Mr. Bluebird, defending his house against invasion by the black throated gray-capped house sparrow, watched from his post atop my clothesline pole for morsels of a meal. My mealworm offering to the Bluebirds also attracts the birds of an aggressive feather, but he never minded their feeding themselves what he could have had. He just moves farther away, watching for a safe zone to dive down for his own meal.
“Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?” Matthew 6:26 NKJV
Suddenly a convention of Robins convened at the back edge of the lawn. Mingling with a growing flock of Blackbirds, they all seemed busily concerned with whatever it was in the field that interested them. A bustling world of busyness, not unlike our own, just going about their own business; neither harming, nor helping, any others. Much too familiar for comfort, I see some of us pulling at our collar.
But the colorful sight at the feeder was too grand to take my eyes off for long.
Red, orange, black and brown; striped, solid, smooth or crowned; all aflutter, searching and eating, sharing time at window peeking; bringing life to frozen air, Nature’s love song everywhere.
Be the Junco in feeding a fellow flyer. Be the Bluebird in seeking peace.
“If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” Romans 12:18
Simply stated, notabilia means ‘things worthy of note’. I came away Saturday from our local congregation’s ladies’ retreat with several items of notabilia. First, I will say it was a privilege to be there, and by that I mean, I’m privileged with the transportation and time to go; with some great friends to accompany me; with the opportunity of getting to know more about some sisters in Christ who were very nearly strangers to me; and lastly I got to hear notabilia from others as I sat back, relaxed, benefitting from their life stories, their words and their studies.
I must insert a fair warning here. I have not been able to keep this short, though I have forced myself to omit a great number of details I would love to have shared. But I don’t want to lose you before I make my intended points.
At first I was drawn the distance of an hour and a half drive just for the chance to see again the actual place of my obedience to the gospel of Jesus Christ, which was the West KY Youth Camp. It was in the swimming pool there, that I was immersed into Jesus’ body, in about 1966. I attended a total of three summers, two as a camper, with the director being the late Kenneth Hoover, and one as a junior counselor under the direction of the late Dennis and Florence Rogers. Though it was touching to see the old pavilion where my tears flowed, (or was that the off note I sang in How Great Thou Art?), it turned out not as interesting as what I found inside the building where the retreat was being held.
This large multipurpose building was a little rough around the edges, as it would be most difficult to have fine and fancy on donations alone. (Aren’t some of the biggest hearts found inside those who are a bit rough around the edges?) But it was SO accommodating! All the necessities were there: great space, comfortable chairs, tables, bathrooms, kitchen and lots of light. But, what made it work, was the people rather than the venue. Thorough planning was done, which is necessary, but it doesn’t carry itself out. The hard work carried it out, and that’s necessary, but impossible without the planning; which leaves intent, which for me, must’ve been God’s part. Being human, our intentions for being there were likely as varied as we were.
As an older member (some of these ‘ladies’ were young enough to be my grandchildren), I had to ask myself beforehand as to intent; why so far away, and why I wanted to get up at 5 AM on a Saturday. In all honesty, I even dabbled in the devil’s deceit, wondering if it was to weed out us older ladies; you know, the old stale routine. Shame on me. Oh, we were taken far away for sure – far from everyday monotony, rush, confines of the clock; to a place where we were encouraged to see through our spiritual eyes, our gifts and our places in the body of Christ. Unfortunately I was only able to attend Saturday, but what a blessing that day was.
My take away from Kelly Vaughn’s lesson on spiritual gifts (our talents or abilities) is they change. We change. So do our gifts. Changing does not render us useless. Perhaps our former abilities are those upon which to build. Maybe we do an about-face in another direction altogether. Why this hadn’t occurred to me before, I do not know. I didn’t see it. I felt that because I wasn’t doing the same things I had done like teaching littles, and then later, medical mission trips, I must be washed up; no real purpose in the work of the church. Then there I was enjoying Kelly’s excellent points about spiritual gifts, and BAM! she said things like older…changing…different…still have a place in the body. To quote her, “One’s gift, or function, can change, as life goes on”. There. Right there was my God given intent, my reason for wanting to be there. He knew, and I did not. This “seasoned” Christian needed to hear that our grace given gifts change; and we are still deemed useful, though probably in other functions. Self-centered, perhaps. But don’t pretend I am alone in this. We need to be needed. And the body, the church, has a great many needs to fill.
On the other hand, life was just settling me into the comfort of excusing myself from responsibilities. I now realize using age and lower energy levels as an excuse for sitting back, is not a reason to avoid all roles. As the scripture says (I Corinthians 12), if the whole body were hearing, where would be the sense of smell? There are women older than I and with family/health/obligation issues as well, and they are serving circles around me.
The second talk by Alisha Bohannon, still focused on finding our places in the unified body – the church – as found in Ephesians 4. There is diversity in gifts given by God, that we may function as a whole body. Alisha’s story added a sweetening, like dessert after a sumptuous meal from Kelly, reminding me that some have had to endure extreme hardship and tragedy to come to their “place”. Not that all who use their gifts must have come through great tragedy, as she pointed out. But for those who do suffer, there is the choice of whether to allow God to work through the situations to transport them into a better place, or to hold out in anger. This gave me pause; introspection, as to what circumstances in my own life had led me to opportunities or areas of service I either filled, or perhaps resisted. It was endearing to me to have these tender moments shared with us.
Our activities included artwork. Well “art” may be stretching it a bit, but it was quite enjoyable to play in paints again. It’s been a while or two since my kids, now in their 40’s, asked me to paint. I came away with a permanent record of favorite scriptures from these young women. I look forward to looking up each one to read and meditate on them.
The last item of notabilia I’ll mention is one of the stations in another activity (and all of them were valuable!) But at this one, the instructions were to write on a piece of paper what weights you are carrying. After looking at them and comparing them to a list of categories, along with scriptures related to each category, you were to give these weights and burdens to God. Symbolically, we were to then put the pieces of paper in the shredder provided. As I read what I’d written, I was a bit unsettled to realize these were in the categories of fear and doubt. Me, a seasoned Christian, having fear and doubt riding around on my already over-used back! I jotted down the verses to take home for fast reference when I am tempted to retrieve those burdens from God. In Isaiah 41:10 God tell us “Fear not, for I am with you. Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” The second one is Proverbs 3:5-6 where we read, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”
Other notable points I want to mention are as follows:
Young women whom I saw screaming their way into this world are now able to lead with their voices in song and scripture.
Everybody loves tacos.
Quiet women can raise the spiritual roof with devout prayer.
I do not need to use stensils again. Ever. No kidding. But I can still have fun with failure.
One generation learns from another; both are valuable.
Please do not consider this to be a complete list of things worthy of notice from the retreat. Nor is it anyone’s opinion but mine. My observations and take-aways are as particular to me as my own face. I incorporated no one else’s. Before I go, I think I have come to what I found most noteworthy. No tradition should be so tightly gripped that it squelches the flames and excitement of others as they grow and change in their spiritual life. Friends, I lived through watching one congregation dwindle down to bare bones and I never want to witness that again! I cannot speak for them, but my own observation attributed the decline to resistance. Resistance to fresh ideas between generations and reluctance to change. First, and foremost, the truth in God’s word never changes. Venues, methods, action however, all can and will change to serve and carry out what He has called us to do. The scriptures are filled with examples of women who altered their styles, made new connections and did new work as their lives changed. Naomi and Ruth, Esther, Rahab, Mary Magdalene and Mary the mother of Jesus to note a few.
It was the first time I had attended a church function where I was the oldest, and only two others near my age. I have to say I was disappointed. My prayer is that our inspirational times together will continue to thrive as they have in the past as we remember what we learned from those gone ahead of us, who made learning and serving fun and exciting as we grew. I will try not to be so unyielding to my own changes. I will be praying for unity in the Spirit; for every sister in Christ to find her gift and cherish it; and for all of every age to “Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another.” Romans 12:10
I told you this would be long. If I have misrepresented anything or anyone, I encourage correction. I am sorry I had to miss Mallory Bybee’s talk Friday. Thank you Ashley Benson for your planning; Leigh Ann Grady for the delicious goodies; the men, Jacob, Matt and Scott for the work of maneuvering tables, trash detail and providing food. I no doubt have left out others who made the time of refreshing/retreating possible but you are just as appreciated as if I knew your names.
You know those little corners, where perhaps the hardwood meets the carpet to the side of the threshold, or in the bathroom where hairspray drifts and dust evades the dust mop, and they stick together tighter than the suction of the vacuum…well, I do. Sitting to take off my boots, I took a good look at one such corner, and found myself remembering the days of brand new. A brand new house, no matter how humble, is something you expect to stay new, until it doesn’t. In spite of diligence to take care of it, living happens. Dents and dings, cracks and crevices seem to crawl over the surface like the evening shadows. But it doesn’t happen while we are sleeping; oh no, we are quite awake – living. Living takes its toll. Every imperfection, flaw and failure tell a beautiful story; we are living. Winning some, losing some, we get to keep trying again. Fallen soup cans dent the kitchen hardwood (probably not the wisest decision we made) and little gaps in the weatherstripping made by fur-friends, join the hole in the patio screen door where sweet little fingers missed the too small handle (what was the manufacturer thinking?). Those and more, prove life was happening.
As I stared into the corner where threshold carpet flattens into the land of sprayed down dust, I pictured my mama, down on her knees, scraping yellowed wax from the crevices of patterned linoleum. I would like to go back to that time, lift her gently by her elbow, up from the floor and into the yard for a picnic. Maybe just sit down and invite her opinion, about anything. But I believe she was clearing away what she could, of life’s ills, and right then it was old yellowed wax. Shiny floors back then meant you had paid a high price, and it wasn’t in dollars and cents. But this is about old and new, so I will get back on track now. I couldn’t imagine that house, or that woman, being new or young; any more than she could imagine my being old. Thank goodness we were too busy living to give it much thought then. As I sat today, for a moment, old enough to have earned a few minutes of meditation, the following came from that forgotten corner.
WHEN OLD WAS NEW
I remember when all of this was new.
Those corners there, the carpet too –
Fresh and clean, and the doors didn’t squeak –
I remember when all of this was new.
It had a fresh-start feel when it all was new.
I recall the paint was a different hue.
Those dents in the floor were once flawless boards,
Before the living, when it all was new.
The garage had space, the attic did too.
And the shingles stayed put when a strong wind blew.
The screen is torn and the weather stripping worn,
Yes, it looked a little different when it all was new.
Everything old was at one time new.
And we’re no different, we were too.
Ills back then were swift to mend, and
moving was easy when it all was new.
So stand on my shoulders for a better view
For I’ve been there, done that, and saw that too.
But when I’m out of gas and stall in your path,
Wait – there’ll come a day when you were more new.
Well, I’m not gonna let it make me blue,
When I feel the changes in what was new.
I’ll just wait for the call for my overhaul
And this old house will be better than new!
Until that time when the old is made new
And we each can do what the others do too,
I’ll fix what I can, lend others a hand,
And remember with fondness when it all was new. Trisha
“For we know that if our earthly house, this tent, is destroyed, we have a building from God a house not ade with hands, eternal in the heavens.” II Corinthians 5:1 NKJV
As paths cross throughout life, some prints make a deeper impact than others, on each of us. It is likely those who first held our children, made some of those deeper ones.
The ability to touch hearts comes in many forms, like song writing or painting, but the skill of letting others know they matter, or that they are cared for, may be the most rare form. Eventually we are all going to be known and remembered for something.
There is much to recall by many, and here are a few of my memories. I will remember red pickup trucks, roses, and babies, and the encouraging statement “you’re doing a much better job of this than I could do!” for mothers-to-be who were in their pushing stage; but one very important quality Dr. Gene Cook had was taking an extra moment for people. Time, a valuable commodity in a physician’s life, can make a world of difference. A moment of thoughtfulness, like a sympathetic phone call, or writing down the name of a hearing aid specialist for an obstinate nurse who blamed his soft voice instead of her aging ears, was kind, but even kinder was his smile at her denial. That’s just one of a hundred things I remember.
How many reassuring words from Dr. Cook, calmly escorted a patient through her pregnancy? How many supporting affirmations were given to the heart broken families who waited but did not conceive? How many warm hugs and words of ‘well done’ kept a nurse on her tired feet? Never too busy to hear an update or concern for patients’ changes or lack thereof, he was swift to reply, swift to appear. Many unit clerks and nurses’ jobs were made easier by Dr. Cook’s clear orders and perfect handwriting. As the computer age rolled in, so did his efforts to help us merge the old with the new, one way or the other. (Only the nurses will get that last statement.)
While we have struggled these last few days to wrap our heads around the reality of our loss, indeed our community’s loss, we have sobbed with sadness, shaken our heads with disbelief, and remembered with fondness the man Gene Cook, the physician Dr. Charles Eugene Cook, our friend, Doctor Cook. Each person who was privileged to meet him will have their own memories, and impressions. To be so soft spoken and humble, he sure made an impact. I can see him now, hands clasped and elbows on knees, sitting in a rolling chair at the nurses’ station, and gently turning his head side to side as a denial of any accolades for himself. He would instead, be watching for the “okay” that the surgery crew was ready for him to enter the cold sterile room where he would quickly and adeptly bring a warm screaming life into the world, by way of cesarean section. There was no waiting on him; he was johnny-on-the-spot! Or, he would be donning gown and gloves, having orchestrated long hours of a successful labor and the eventual delivery of one more new life. Whether one who was first touched by Dr. Cook’s capable hands, or the grateful new parent, or a fellow care provider so glad for the intense concern for excellent outcomes, or just a nurse who was thankful Dr. Cook had her back, we can all say thank you; from the heart, thank you Dr. Cook!
Of all my memories, I want to share this one because it speaks to me of Dr. Cook’s attitude in general. It didn’t take long to find we shared the enjoyment of tending roses. He appreciated the beauty of the few nice specimens I took to share at work, and I appreciated his knowledge of rose care and of varieties. He often asked, “How are your roses doing?” When the virus we called ‘witches broom’ struck so many, wiping out entire gardens for some, we lamented our concerns for it. One day after his asking about my roses, I began fussing about a particular bush I had not pruned in the winter and the resulting growth was quite gnarly; poorly blooming and just a mess. He then stopped me by saying, “Never bad-talk your roses”. Exactly. And Dr. Cook lived by that rule as far as I ever knew. His roses, his people, whatever he cared about may have gotten constructive criticism, but there was no ‘bad-talking’ them. His level of care for his patients was, well, on a scale of one to ten, a twelve. I believe I can speak for others perhaps who worked behind the scenes with him, and beside him, in assuring you he always wanted the best, not just okay, but the best outcome. For everyone. Every time.
My sincere sympathy goes out to the family of Dr. Gene Cook. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Matthew 5:4
I knew this week would be hard but I just didn’t dream how hard. The gaps in my broken heart haven’t healed and with the light God shines through them, there also seeps tears and doubts. I dreaded the anniversary of my little brother’s passing one year today, the fifth of January. Regrets are mean spiteful things; yet we hang onto them even though God tells us to let go and let Him heal. I worried about my little sister, my nieces and nephew, and I was concerned that I, myself, would hibernate to Kathy’s couch to sob into my grief. But life had other ideas. The sudden passing of the young and vibrant Mandi Murdock whose husband and his family have been a part of our life since, well, forever, has bolted me upright. My heart is so broken for the Murdock and Darnall families that it dried up my tears before they could fall for my own losses. Well, that is, other than the moments the radio was accidentally shifted to Spa station this morning and started playing “Before The Gates of Heaven” ( an instrumental, but wow, what a title!); then later “Last Date” was drifting off the piano keys of Kent Hewitt (I think) similar to Floyd Cramer. And that’s a whole other story I can’t get into now. So I called Janette DeWitt to check on her but instead, I just blubbered how I need not listen to the radio on edgy days and how heavy my heart was. She understood. So well. She listened. She stood in the gap where I had lost it, until God put it back. That’s what friends do.
Earlier today there was also the visitation and funeral for a lady who was the caregiver for her husband, a friend to many and seemed to always have a smile ready. She will be missed greatly by her family. Many were there to stand in the gap for Carolyn Hargrove’s loved ones and make the burden of goodbye somewhat lighter.
Tomorrow, as Kyle says his final goodbye for this life, to the other half of himself; as Luke tries to imagine life without his mother, as he so recently had to do with his big sister, I try myself to understand what we are supposed to think and do when we want so desperately to help, but cannot make sense of it. When Mandi was abruptly separated from her family, from earth ties, from lesson plans; when a young son grapples for understanding, along with grandparents who are trying to take in air that must feel stifling with palpable grief, we who know and love them want to help. We know full well words cannot explain our sorrow, nor heal. So we hover; we collectively stand in the gap – share the grief – stand even from our own homes in silent respect, kneeling in prayer, sitting in a search of God’s word for answers. That’s when it came to me; we hover, gathered together in spirit, surrounding these beautiful people to fill a gap; a gap created by life situations and one that the evil one will take advantage of if left open. Loved ones surround us, quite unlike the gap in the city’s wall of Ezekiel’s time where no man would stand in the gap, and so the city was not saved. We stand with each other, with this family, so that hopelessness cannot take over. We hold up the Holy Spirit, brought by our hearts filled with Him, to comfort and keep hope alive for better days and a future alive with hope for eternity. Filling the gaps where God is working through us to keep mourning souls from despair; so grief will not overtake them. My prayer Lord is, use us as we stand physically and in spirit surrounding the Murdock and Darnall families, knowing nothing of our own ability can get them through, but allowing Your power of hope and healing to be magnified through us as we stand in the gaps. Keep the circle of faithful friends strong, where faith, hope and love will be standing, and doubt, despair and darkness will be shut out. As You ready them to face the days ahead, though their gaps will never be filled, the love of the Lord and those standing in the gaps, will keep them safe. Amen.
Memories of Kenzie and of Mandi, and her presence with the Lord where her daughter is, will also stand in the gaps for all who knew and loved them. That’s how I see it. Love, Trisha
Happy New Year friends! I suppose ‘happy’ is subjective, as well as all inclusive for the many things we wish one another as we closed chapter 2022, and began a new chapter, 2023. Even as I proclaimed ‘happy new year’ to my family last night, I knew we meant so much more. It includes the momentary “let’s celebrate the auld lang sine in a festive spirit”, but from me to them, and to you, it means more fully, “bless your hearts for surviving and thriving the past year, and may you reach bravely and blessed into the abyss of yet unknown”.
Most people who enjoy writing, feel they must say something about anything new I guess. So, with a fresh cup of gingerbread coffee in hand, may I add my two cents worth of ‘happy new year’. With that, I wish I could take all your anxiety, fear and hardships, tie them in a Hefty bag and send them out with our Friday waste pick up. But then, that is God’s job, and He, with all wisdom and clarity of the big picture, is the best at it.
I have been guilty in years past, of saying I was so glad a particular year was over and welcomed a year with a new number. As if any time frame could recognize our expectation for a number on our calendar to alter a thing. No, one day just follows another, and it is up to us to be grateful for every single one of them and to give each day our best shot. I’m not real good at it, but a runner doesn’t have to win to know what she needs to do better to win, right?
As I clear away the Christmas clutter (that which I thought was so warm, cheery and bright when I put it there!), I feel my head clearing as well. Finding the floor again and parting with things I couldn’t before, is liberating. Closing and sealing each box or tote, giving it a place on some shelf, and wiping the dust away makes me breathe a sigh of relief. Is that how we feel about the worn out year? What started 12 months ago as a bright and shiny new opportunity, has lost its luster, and feels ragged and rough, ready for the dumpster. Maybe my lesson to self is not to set those expectations too high; nor to feel disappointed because some issue didn’t magically change by the stroke of midnight December 31. A new year doesn’t promise perfection. Storms will rage; illnesses persist; interest rates rise and children still fall. But praise the Lord, these are temporary, and Jesus is still Lord of all. I am so thankful I can pray to a God Who listens and will never grow tired and weary of our petitions. I praise God for wanting to be our rock, our healer, our guide back home when we stray. Time fails us because we put our trust in it, instead of the one who controls it.
My wish for you all is as James 4:8 says, “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” May you be blessed with the desire to know more fully the One Who gave us life, taught us to love, and loves to see us happy. Trisha
What delight I have in the average! The ordinary and mundane sparkle like a long ago memory hanging on the Christmas tree. Call me crazy, but I have always been comforted in a way, by the pauses I take to say to myself, “ok, this or that will turn out alright because I’m average; those rare things don’t happen to average folk”. As naive and unrealistic as it is, it has just been a thing I like to think, all my life. Interestingly, Mary the mother of Jesus, considered her lowly and ordinary existence a reason to praise God for the extraordinary! This post isn’t about Mary, but I dearly love the verse, and surrounding scripture showing us how humbly Mary magnified the Lord for her unique, one time ever, blessed experience. I believe Mary was relieved to find her ordinary self was just what God needed to work His wonder, and she did not feel pressured to be more.
Recently I have found my thoughts circling around the joy of ordinary. It’s a wonder I found my thoughts at all, but that is beside the point. The more abnormal, or out-of-the-ordinary things have become lately, the more I appreciate the mundane normal state of things. Ebb and flow, nice and easy, calm waters; yes, let me live there. I’m thinking we all put our own lives under the microscope occasionally to verify our own ills and isms. There we decide whether we are average or not. We see the tarnished tinsel, the interruptions, the rippled surfaces, but there is always, always, room to say, “wow, it could’ve been so much worse”. Or perhaps not, but I have not been in those rare life-altering situations where I really couldn’t say it. That, to me, is a comfort, and a blessing. Though I have not been so sheltered as to never know tragedy, as an average person, it was not to be the end of me.
Grandma Wilkins’ arrangement
Then there are the unusual times when ‘exciting, awesome, or amazing’ descriptors are needed for the days jazzed up with extra helpings of out-of-the-ordinary. Those are our aha moments; our fantastic experiences. We can all use more glitz and glitter – at times. But truthfully, at my age, it is quite tiring to plan and carry out those amazing times. A little bit goes a long way, and then I’m so ready for the usual and mundane. You know why we decorate so early now? It is because the few days of putting up a tree and wreaths and candles and snowmen and Santa Clauses requires a few weeks of recuperation before we can even think of taking it all back down again. I recall when our only Christmas decoration was the tree wrapped in lights, glass balls and silver icicles. It was really doodied up when Mama added an arrangement to the dining room table. Grandma and Grandpa put their little arrangement on the console television cabinet. Though it’s now dusty, dull and dinky, I still have it; a simply beautiful memory.
Surgeries, illness, utility calamities (even our appliances suffered from Covid in 2020-21) and other common, but unexpected bumps in the road are what keep us so incredibly thankful for the days of no incidence; the days of nothing to tell, nothing to sweat, nothing to tug a special plea to God on our own behalf. The best part of those times, is how much more I can focus on praying for all those around me who were not so fortunate as to have a mundane, dull day.
From an average family of five, with average incomes (eventually) and average education and abilities, I found the turbulent times bearable by the thought process I’ve explained above – that since I am average, this is all normal. Christmas would still come because I had an above average mother who made sure it did. Food would still be on the table because I was blessed with parents who had good work ethics. The wheels would roll, the lights would come on and the booboos would heal, regardless of the storms brewing. I’ve grown up now and realize none of that was average. Rather, it was so incredibly blessed that tears form as I think of how to adequately express it.
This Christmas week I am thinking of all the children who find life so hard and cold that there is no normal, no average, no peaceful thinking. No warm beds, breakfast nor hands to gently wipe their tears. Dear God, take some of my average from my life and use it to soften those little souls.
A few weeks ago the news spoke of a child who had suffered in ways unmentionable, and all I could do was sit and sob for her. I do so now even, realizing hers is not the only case in our world. I do not intend this to be a depressing post, as there are more than enough seeds in the world already for planting heartache and feeling down. I suppose what I do want to relay, is how extremely satisfied we ought to be when we have a most usual, common day. The gratitude and pleasure well up in me just to be able to look out the window at gifts of red Nandina berries and green wheat sitting dormant through the winter. As much as I want to understand depression and knowing it is very real, it is just beyond my average ability to grasp how one cannot look into God’s beautiful nature – both that of His workmanship and His person – and be lifted out of the darkness into the light of a beautiful ordinary day.
For the past several weeks, especially remembering last December and January, I have struggled with worrisome thoughts myself, but for every discouraged feeling, there have come more amazing devotionals from God’s word, encouragement from friends and family, gifts of healing and hope for better tomorrows. When you are a child of the King (Lord Jesus); when you have super hero friends and family members; or when you have weeks on end of doing the same thing, seeming to roll one into another, count yourself way above average. It’s okay to tell yourself it’s all average, so you do not live in a bubble of expectation, thus the ups and downs do not burst your bubble; but never forget how special it is, and to be on-your-knees-thankful for the ordinary.
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.”
James 1:17 NKJV
Have a blessed, ordinary, Merry Christmas! Love, Trisha
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” (James 1:17)
Walking my dog through the gray fog, I spotted an oak leaf, brown and dry, standing upright upon its stem in the brittle grass, waving in the breeze of this cool November Saturday morning. Returning to our driveway, I see the friendly leaf still there, still waving, and I smile – at the leaf, at the gift of a day, at the sky over it.
More than three hours later, a walk to the mailbox found my leaf friend waiting, keeping her stance in the cool damp grass. She reminds me of a little brown Christmas tree. With points so perfectly shaped and pointing outward and upward, I was drawn over for a closer look. I bent to her and measured the height from my fingertip to eleven inches above, where she reached from the grass where she stood to her farthest point; eleven inches long. From my more critical inspection, I could see flaws in the shiny surface, and one tip wasn’t pointing as well as the others. What an interesting visitor to bring a smile. And I thought, isn’t that just life in general? It is what we make of it. To you, it’s just a leaf, no big deal. But beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. I can make what I will of it. Not that wishing can change a thing, but attitude can change the effect of a thing. Moving the thermostat from dismal to grateful, changes the air, not the room.
The flaws in my little leaf made it no less impressive, important, nor influential. In fact, her flaws made her more endearing, with marks of time inflicted upon her as she came this far through life. Gloom and glitches can either change our outlook, or our outlook can prevent the tragedy of rippling effects due to disappointment and dismay altering the way we see. Grief for something lost, or something missed; anger and angst for plans that turned brown and dried up; or unrelenting regrets, to name a few, can dominate our life. Or, with God’s grace and great girlfriends, we can use the grief or ill situation to gain gratitude for all the gifts in life. God does not make bad things happen. He gives us the support and the gifts to make each day count in spite of it all.
Even the ordinary and mundane can transform a dreary day into a gift. A brown leaf that strayed into my lawn with its imperfections, became a waving friend, or a tiny tree; a day changer. It is what you make of it. Be the leaf. Or be the one who appreciates the leaf. Either way, it’s a gift.
Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name. For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, and His truth endures to all generations”.
Psalm 100: 4-5
This morning I knew my blog post would be related to Thanksgiving, but I had no real springboard; other than appreciation for all things good. As the nation prepares for Thanksgiving week, I have enjoyed seeing gratitude expressed in different ways. Janette DeWitt posted thankful notes on Facebook this month about the people in her life. How important it is to let people know you are thankful for them! Also, I was amazed by my seven-year-old great nephew’s ‘thankful writing’ of gratitude written in school. I would say his gratitude priorities are rightly placed! Lastly, I am always touched by the thank you voiced by my husband for little things I do which many would take for granted. The things we appreciate are as varied as our personalities, and today Steven Hunter mentioned in Sunday School something that may explain this, called the five love languages. So I came home and Googled it. According to author Gary Chapman, we prefer to have love shown in one or more of five categories. This in turn, influences how we show our love, unless a loved one lets us in on what they prefer. It always raises eyebrows when Steven mentions how his wife speaks his love language as she “serves him his plate”, bless her heart! Presto, springboard! Being the good natured brother he is, I know Steven won’t mind.
I was sitting next to a sweet girl the age of my children when Steven mentioned bringing a plate to your husband, or having a cup of coffee brought to you in the morning. April and I looked at each other and laughed as if to say, “like that’s gonna happen”, but for some that is their love language. I could sure go for the coffee thing myself! And to be honest, I have filled and taken a plate or two, but it was probably on some disabled occasion, or with sarcasm under my breath. (smile) So, here is the love language in our house: if I prepare it, he can walk to the table to receive it. And… And… most importantly, if he provided the table (and he did), then I am honored to prepare and serve our meals on it. What is important to us is, we meet at the table. That is our service to one another.
This also is our service to God, that we meet around His table. He has prepared tables for us to feast on the bread of life in His word (John 6:35); the table of communion where we eat the bread of remembering our Savior’s body (I Corinthians 11:24); and at the table He, as our great Shepherd, prepares for us in the face of adversity, and fills our cups to overflowing (Psalm 23). It seems the love language of our God is multifaceted; love by word, service, gifts, and quality time. Even the language of physical touch He gave, as Jesus came physically to earth to bless us with the greatest gift – Himself. These He gives and these He wants to receive, as we give gratitude, service, gifts, time, and the touch of a hug, hand shake or helping hands. In doing these for one another, we do them also to Him.
Each generation has it’s own idea of where dinner is served, and for that matter, one locale may even define ‘dinner’ differently from another. Raised in rural Kentucky, dinner was for me the noon meal, served on a kitchen table with all family members present. I am thankful for that. Supper was served in the evening in the same style, especially if dinner was lunch because family was away from home. But to not stray any farther from Thanksgiving, I’ll bring it back to the table. Whether it is an heirloom table with all of your Mama’s best dishes served in the evening; or great aunt Fuddy Duddy’s crowded table of garden treasures at noon; or grandma’s gravy on grandpa’s chrome table; or at TV trays from your favorite chairs with your favorite peeps; and whether there are two or twenty, just come to the table. Bring your smiles, your prayers, and your gratitude for being loved on in any language. Bring within your heart those who are no longer at the table. Put the phones away, unless you’re playing music for everyone (my picks are Ben Rector’s “The Thanksgiving Song”, Glen Campbell’s “Home Again” and Louis Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful World”.) As we gather in heart, or in homes, I wish you a very thankful and blessed Thanksgiving. My heart will be full as I speak my language, serving up dinner, at the table. Trisha
This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.”
Psalm 118:24 NKJV
With Seattle’s Best steaming from my coffee mug, and a fuzzy throw on my lap, my Yorkie and I watch the last comfortable morning move into the day, pushed by a north wind. It is November 11, Veteran’s Day, as well as the forecasted end of warm weather. We’ve enjoyed an extra helping of beauty and warmth this fall, even with the great need for moisture. Given my druthers I definitely take dry over too wet, so I’ve hung onto this fall, maybe too tightly. Some farewells, though expected, are just not welcome.
In the distance, I see trucks working to complete a highway project we had hoped never to see begun. Now we can hardly wait to see it finished. Over with already! Some endings are welcome!
One year ago, due to my sister’s wise planning, our brother and I met her for a Veteran’s Day lunch. The weather was drizzly, cool, and with his disabilities it was an effort he could’ve understandably forgone. Had he not joined us however, to honor his military service, we would not have this last good memory of brother’s time with us. Less than two months later he was gone. Some goodbyes are unexpected.
Like my brother’s old yellow wheelbarrow upended against my potting shed, I am now ready to resist cold rains (if they ever come). We’ve piddled in the lawn and gardens the last couple days; partly to prepare for winter and partly to just be in the presence of what we know must depart. Thousands of poets, nature lovers and old folk have described seasons as life cycles, and life cycles as seasons. I never grow tired of it. God’s hand of grace feeds my grateful heart season after season. Whether a daily departure of the sun’s glow, or a season-following-season farewell, nature teaches us the importance of seizing the day – to appreciate and use the time – but also to just take it in and be grateful.
One memorable moment of farewell for me was a September sunset on the beach. Here, the beach is its own kind of loud – the resounding wash-sh-sh, wash-sh-sh, wash-sh-sh of the ocean with the frequent seagull call and a distant helicopter’s clap clap clap. Voices and laughter more rowdy by day, are now subdued with sunset, and blend with the waves to form a quieter ‘white noise’, leaving you with your own thoughts. It pulls me in and I hear myself think more loudly than the din of the beach. It is more than a delightful sunset. It is the glow in my heart for the R&R with my husband and the satisfaction of enjoying something new. I think the secret of truly enjoying our time and being able to smile at “so-long”, is not planning too much; being still to allow ourselves to absorb the surroundings, being in the moment.
In our days and nights, in our seasons, and in our relationships, we tend to push so much into them, complicate them and force our expectations upon them. That is when we cannot say goodbye with ease; when we want length and fullness that were there, perhaps, but we missed it. Or, sadly, the length was not there, and for those of you, I wish you more; more length and breadth and glow.
I am not missing this autumn season. I have been ‘in the moment’ much more than in the past. In recent seasons of life I learned to choose my battles and I’ve let some go. I have silently observed loved ones, and actively cheered on others I love as well. If I’m distracted with what I think I have missed, I miss what I have. Life goes on, and someday it will go on without me, and without you. I hope my sunsets will be full enough to allow my loved ones to smile and say it was good for me to have been here. Most importantly, will I have helped another to face their farewells; to embrace their sunsets and stand strong against the harsh north winds.
Over the past two and a half years, I made four difficult drives with the sunset in my rearview mirror; two from Graves County – first, leaving my young brother in tears at a nursing home, and last, leaving from his home where he had passed away. The other two drives were from a Tennessee cemetery, first for my daddy who left suddenly November 13, 2020, and fourteen months later, for my brother. Though the goodbyes within the departures were heart wrenching, they never diminished the beauty of the sunset. In fact the sunset’s glow reflected my mood and warmed me at the same time, with hope and the knowledge that I was not alone. Whether expected or not, welcomed or not, farewells are as sure as the sunset. and sunsets offer us the glow of hope, and the beautiful promise of morning to follow. Trisha
Farewells
Goodbyes may come at sunset, some in the dead of night.
Some at break of day, and some in noon day's light.
Whether they are welcomed or whether met in pain,
A new day will be dawning, and there's sunshine after rain.
Live time in the present and embrace your given life.
For farewells surely come, whether in peace or strife.
Take courage and have hope, for love lives, and never ends -
'Tis the force that takes our endings to where new life begins.
Autumn Encouragement
New green wheat blankets the field where Spring's hope lies.
Fiery red hawthorn berries set off the deep blue sky.
Sweetly fragrant roses hanging on to the bitter end
All nod their pretty heads at the growing North wind.
One lone pink rose, a few glowing red,
And two sunny yellows will soon be put to bed.
Happily present, not concerned with tomorrow -
Like the song birds' singing - full trust without sorrow.
Warm sun on my face, wind chimes in my ear;
Dried okra pods stand waving in the air so clear.
I envy Nature's graceful stance, in the firm face of change,
amazingly coaching us, encouraging and teaching us, to do just the same.
Trisha's Coffee Break 