Category Archives: Reflections

Notifications

15 Saturday Nov 2025

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Friday, 11/14/25

I recall (not so long ago) when a little red notification dot, or bell, or whatever symbols lived in my phone and computer, were welcomed reminders that I had mail. Or news. Or an appointment. Or a friend had news of interest. Although I reluctantly embraced the modern technology routes of e-mail, smart phones, and Facebook, I still use and enjoy our snail mail, and the daily local newspaper. Deciding I would not rely solely on these, nor on local television broadcasting, nor NPR, as I once did, has been a double edged sword. Truth is, my respect grows for each of those in their intended purpose; not so much for some more modern modes. However, my favorite source of modern media became the blog site where I may type my heart out with no real expectations. As I have not yet mastered the inner workings of this platform, my social media realm stops here. Recently, I have been toying with the idea of detaching from most of the aforesaid communication mediums. Why, you ask? The answer is simply, commercialism.

Ironically, the very thing which supports and brings us practically any media, is also that which has ruined it. Commercials, which bring us television shows, cannot be selected as the networks and scheduling can be; many are beyond repulsive and smell of propaganda more than profit. Comparatively, the cost of a postage stamp seems small — thank you U.S. Postal Service. I appreciate the notification by way of first class postage, as to whether or not it’s legitimate mail. Although I worry about all the trees involved in junk mail, my first stop from the mailbox, is the trash can. Ad-free music can be had, if you want to pay the fee. And I do. But I am getting off my intended subject.

Notifications — the ones that say “you’ve got mail” and so forth — have begun to seem like little liars. Very few of my notifications serve any purpose beyond commercialism. The most aggravating of these come from Facebook. Most of my — what do you call it, the profile stream, or activity — anyway, posts visible to me, are ads, AI, and anything other than my friends’ posts. I am, as they say, over it! When I realized all the ads my blog readers were subjected to as well when visiting there, I forked over the money for a site in which you may read without having to hopscotch over unwanted solicitation.

E-mail has become for me a dread! The more I unsubscribe, the more I have awaiting me to push out of the way — just in case any of the hundreds of weekly e-mails are actually important. Several of them are, and I have missed a few just because of all the junk! Oh, that’s not even counting the scuds of spam and junk in their own folders!

However, not all media is high on the complaint scale. As for the local paper, I suppose we would have to wade through many pages of advertisements if not for the price we pay (and still a pretty good deal) for a subscription. Thanks, Murray Ledger and Times. The last time I checked NPR, there were very few ads, but we are a spoiled society for variety, so there’s that. Still, when I want classical music and straightforward news, I enjoy public radio.

I did mention smart phones, and my experience there, is that pleasure or pain are directly in proportion to the amount of social media and apps I choose to install, download, upload, or otherwise clutter up my phone. Those lying little notification symbols that tell me I need to open my phone, keep me patting my hip pocket like a former smoker would his shirt pocket. I mean, what would I do if I lost my phone?? Our lives are in those fibbing little voracious eaters of our time.

As I type, my attention is caught by a couple of deer in the field outside my window. The afternoon sun warms the room as a slight breeze tickles the air, encouraging my recent tendency to unplug. I find myself envious of those deer, who roam and do whatever is their daily purpose, without so much as a nod to technology. My initial reaction is to grab my phone, take a picture and post it. As if my friends hadn’t had a million of those moments already! My friends, we are hooked. Each time I try to detach from something, I find it would leave a dangling thread – OH, that is the word I was searching for, our Facebook thread!

So, the question becomes, where can I cut back to be less irritated? I cannot drop e-mail — there are too many important connections, and business that must transpire via AOL. I will not drop my blogging — where and to whom would I rant? (And share, and praise.) We certainly cannot let the smart phones go — we cut the landline cord! I cut out TV streaming and we are fine, until I feel the pangs of evening with no local news nor Wheel of Fortune. Local news on a smart phone is just not the same. So, for a fee, we see the same programming over and over. I even pay a fee for ad-free, which only works part of the time. What does that leave? Oh yes, Facebook, and as often as I’ve threatened myself with deleting it, myself has said, “what about keeping up with all the great stuff going on in friends’ and family’s lives?” I fear also I might get desperate for mutual admiration of all things gardened. Still, I must ask, does it really require the relentless pushing of products and propaganda; the tremendous volume of advertising?

I may indeed take a break, before I get to be a bitter old naysayer. My cell phone number hasn’t changed in years, and I like texts; although I imagine that will change, since I started getting spam there, too. For now, texts are about the only notification I am happy to see. If you believe you have been blocked from my phone, then you can be assured your number was spoofed, and (not recognizing it) I blocked it to avoid further solicitation. I’ve never understood how the FCC has allowed spoofing of phone numbers — the numbers you and I pay a great deal to own — so the spoofers can solicit us — WITHOUT a notification!

If I have offended anyone, oh do please NOTIFY me, one way or another. (I have picked up a bit of sarcasm via notifications.)

I am going out to watch the deer and birds play, and feel the blood pressure drop with the beautiful sunset I expect to see. I’ll send you a pic, lol.

Saturday, 11/15/25. After starting the day with fresh ground coffee beans, great- nephews’ basketball games, French toast with my son and my husband, and an afternoon of outings with a terrific seven-year-old named Jack, I felt a lesser need to post this Notifications than before. Amazing what the sunset last evening and the fresh air today did; how the laughter of a child lifts me; and how hearing from sweet friends sweetened my mood!! Still, it felt so good to type out my irritation over commercialism in our communication, I thought, “hey, I’ll indulge myself a bit more and actually post it” — commercial-free!

P.S. I realize that in the whole realm of world problems, commercialism sneaking into our private media sources is not the largest of them. My reaction to this and any other issue, is more important to my well-being, than the issue itself. If I cannot change it, I must choose to avoid it, or live with it, and control my own involvement. I’m not intelligent enough to get into the philosophy I’m teetering on here, so I will close with a beautiful verse from God’s word. “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is the Lord. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, which spreads out its roots by the river, and will not fear when heat comes; but its leaf will be green, and will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will cease from yielding fruit.” (Jeremiah 17:7-8) NKJV

More Thoughts On Living, Father’s Day, and Remembering

15 Sunday Jun 2025

Posted by in Family, Reflections

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6/11/25
Sitting in the front porch swing, the air of midday seems still, but just alive enough to catch my attention; and perhaps too touchy with humidity for me to linger —  that is, until I check in with my senses. Lifting my eyes from the crossword puzzle I had intended to work,  I sense a sweet aroma from the deep purple butterfly bush reaching upward behind me from its neglected bed. Its blooms, larger than ever, are visited by the hum of bumble bees.
My listening is captured by the simultaneous chatter of various birds – although upstaged by the mockingbird calls. 

A hummingbird zooms in for a sip or two at the feeder. Delicate white pre-berries of the Nandina, complimented by the deep red of my mother’s large astilbe, vie for my attention. Dark yellow Stella D’Oro blooms, nearly exhausted from their show, complete the colors against summer’s green pallet that spreads across my view. And I think, what a nice day to be alive. This is living.


With Father’s Day approaching I am as usual, thinking about my daddy. He spent many days outdoors — gardening, fishing and hunting, and farming for a few years— besides growing up on a farm where milking and raising crops were his parents’ income. They cured their own hams and bacon; raised chickens and gathered the eggs; and he gathered enough enjoyment from gardens that he shared it with his own growing family for years. I wonder what he would think today of the tacky little garden I have eked out of the frequent rains. I wonder what they did back in the day when weather just would not allow tilling, nor completion of the planting. I recall my mother saying (as she would try to console me during the drought years) “honey a dry year will scare a farmer to death, but a wet year will starve him to death”.  As I look at the lush tomato vines, cucumbers, and pepper plants I was able to hill up to avoid being washed away, I catch myself talking to daddy — maybe bragging just a little. I am sure he would advise me to get Sevin dust on those green beans. He might also say I’d done well to hoe out what I could before this last rain. Whatever he would say, he would be pleased that I have continued gardening, being outside, caring about living things. He might say this is living.


As his last year took all of his vision and hearing, daddy forgot the love he had for life. He could no longer recognize which child or grandchild was in his doorway. I feel like that was the worst for him, because he had, over time, regained relationships so dear to him. Now, unable to carry on a conversation, he must have felt so alone. But I am not remembering those last days; no, I am remembering the living he enjoyed, and shared. That was living.

6/15/25
Recognizing the changes that come with age in vision, hearing, and expression, surely reminds us that we all have differences as well, in how we listen and see — our perspectives; we dance with nature to our own music. Enjoy one another’s love for life while it lasts. “Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion.” (Romans 12:16) Understanding others — that’s living.

I am remembering the bibbed overalls, the fishing poles, hummingbird feeders, white cats, beagle hounds and large gardens. Thick curly hair, Old Spice, Buicks and Oldsmobiles, soup beans and fifty dollar bills at Christmas, and pea shelling. Mostly I remember “Trish, this is your dad.” I miss you daddy. And, this is living too — having memories, and remembering the living that was done.

Happy Mother’s Day 2024

12 Sunday May 2024

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As many ministers point out, Mother’s Day is not always a joyful occasion for all; thus they speak more important lessons on this day. One reason mentioned why this is not a happy day for all is because of the sadness of having lost Mom. I can think of several more reasons why this is definitely a dismal day for some, but having lost Mama is not one of them. On the contrary, though it may be through a tear or two, I awake praising God for that amazing package of wonderful that He named ‘mother’. After all the milage they give us, they deserve a rest, even an eternal rest, and to be remembered. This blog was originally dedicated to my mother, and today is for her.

Dear Mama, Another Mother’s Day dawned with my feeling of ‘something’s missing’. Little sister beat me to it in wishing each other Happy Mothers Day, and her comment that we had the very best Mama; as well as both of us being blessed to have a son and a daughter also. But I kept that nagging notion on and off that I haven’t done something important – oh yes, calling you, of course! And so, I write.

I do appreciate the lovely site you selected, where we would be able to visit your grave. But Mama, I’m remembering you here – in my heart; in my flowers, grabbing at the weeds as I walk by just as you did. I am visiting with you as I watch the little wren and listen to the busy song he sings. Watching my bluebirds feed their young, I imagine the fun you and I would have together in this backyard where you had tried to imagine how it would someday be.

I miss you. Boy oh boy, do I miss you. But, I still have you; when I look in the mirror; when I pull those stinkin‘ weeds; when I see hot tea served in a restaurant; when someone asks for “just a little bitty bite of that’; when I look upon and enjoy the shade of this amazing maple tree you saved just for me to plant. It’s a real winner and a great deal like you – taller than our other trees; smiling shade to cool the soul; and a ready refuge for birds, and for me. Tall, good for the soul and a comfort to all.

So thank you Mama, for your generous heart and your thoughtful acts of love. Many think theirs is the best, and for them, they are. But for us, you were just what we needed – our best!

I don’t need to wish you happy mothers day because I know you’re happy; and because of you, I am too. You gave us everything we need to thrive and survive, to love and be loved. Enough to last a lifetime, and beyond.

Love, Trisha

The Day After: Aftermath, or Afterglow

26 Tuesday Dec 2023

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With a blissful nothing on my calendar, mid-morning in my pjs, and a third cup of coffee, I am thankful – so thankful, for all blessings. Today, my favorite day of the year, the day after Christmas, holds the blessing of time – time to reflect and appreciate the gift of people in my life. Even with the sadness of those no longer here, I’m grateful for their presence in Christmases past. I look at the presence and presents as well, of those who share life with me now, and wonder, how could I be SO blessed?! I’m also thankful for hope of next year; maybe if I try, try, try, I can spend time more efficiently, be a better gifter, and be a planning pro – oh well, one can hope. For starters, I will drop the vision of an elaborate awe-catching Christmas cake! Why do I do that to myself when all they want is a Cherry-O-Cream Cheese Delight on a bought crust! I’ll make three of them next year. Oh the trauma of aftermath!

My sister says this is not her favorite day as she is only thinking of the job lying ahead – “taking it all back down”. I myself, am ignoring a mountain of laundry, dishes to wash, boxes, bows and bothers to put away. Many are back to work. (Thank you Lord, for retirement.) Some are heading to the gym to work off their regrets. And most sadly, some feel the aftermath of those missing from their seats; of disease stricken bodies; of houses in shambles from the strike of disaster. I’m reminded my day of bliss is only temporary. However, in this afterglow, in spite of scraps of wrapping paper floating in and out from under the furniture; in spite of the bulging refrigerator of left-overs; in spite of fatigue and expanding waistlines, it is my favorite day.

I spent a good bit of time this morning in my troupe of snowmen, naming each one’s giver, or what occasion coerced my purchase, and enjoyed their smiling faces as they welcome the newcomers. I’ve turned on the lighted ones, the snow globes, and played the music boxes, and silently thanked each friend and family member who gifted them to me.

The aftermath of cleaning up, clearing out, and taking down, will have to wait. I am basking in the afterglow of love, gifting and good cooking. As I enjoy another sausage ball and one of my sister’s amazing coconut balls, I watch my fur baby doing it best. He is stretched out sound asleep, arm over a new toy, watched over by three snowmen and topped off by an over-looking “Blessed” pillow. These are my ‘aftermath’ sentiments exactly, in symbolic form of course; overstuffed and tired, but contented, protected and blessed.

Our Christmas tree seems not to notice the unwrapped gifts, nor the unwound energy of its people. It stands as shining and pretty as ever, reminding me to keep on – to be as generous and cheerful each day of the coming year, as I am in the midst of our best Christmas days. I realize this has always been my favorite day; remembering and appreciating, both the aftermath, and the afterglow.

As a dear friend says in her signatures, “Blessings”, to you and yours!  Love ya, Trisha

Thunder-struck

31 Friday Mar 2023

Posted by in Nature, Reflections

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Being wakened by a clap of thunder and a streak of lightening, before the alarm sounded, was a sweet and salty mixture this morning. Salty as a coarse eye opener, and sweet as the heavy rain lulled me back to a cozy sleep.

When we awoke for real about an hour later, my husband recalled how storms for him, had morphed through his life from a threatening monster into an actual sleep inducer. My thoughts, however, had hopped on a different train. One specific clap of thunder stands out in my mind above all others. It happened on the day of my mother’s passing from this life. And it was no sleep inducer!

A day in June dawned clear and warm, as most others had, with one exception; my mother was gone. Following all the usual information exchange with hospital personnel, we were drawn back to the house I had seen her leave for the last time, several days before. I ran through the front room and hallway into her bedroom crying her name and as I reached her bed, I begged, “Oh God, please let me hear her voice just one more time. Please, let me hear her voice!” As I gained composure and moved into other rooms, I saw that my sister had arrived and we stood together at the glass door, gazing through memories into her sunroom and backyard. A booming thunder came out of nowhere, surprising us so much that we could only stare open-mouthed at each other and feel the hair stand on our necks; thunder-struck! You make what you will of it; but she and I know what we know.

I’ve always believed God answers prayer; otherwise I wouldn’t pray, I suppose. So, two sides to this coin since that day; was the thunder we heard on a clear day with no rain, wind nor clouds, the answer to my prayer? Did we hear from our mother one last time? Or, on the other hand, was God reminding me that He is all I need to hear? “Do not be concerned for your mother, child. She is with me and you need to take care of the life I have given you until you, too, may enjoy the rest she has found.” Actually now that I’ve said it, I realize the two are the same. I absolutely know my mother would want the Father to tell me those exact words, and if it is in His divine plan to allow the departed a request, she would most certainly call out to her children. And If you knew my mother, you know her calling would be thunderous! Her by-word was, no kidding, “thunder!”

I once thought growing older would make me more skeptical, but I am not nearly the skeptic I was in my younger days. This is not the first time God has spoken through nature, and my friends, it won’t be the last either. From the birds who sing their creator’s praise to the seeds erupting with life in springtime, the Lord speaks of His amazing grace and favor.

Some things I know for sure. It was already said in His word, that in Him we will find rest and peace, and the soul never dies. It is also said in scripture that God hears prayer. Also I know one day I will get to hear Christ call my name, as Mary did standing at His empty tomb. And you know, if we get to recognize each other, I’m going to ask, “Mama, you know that clap of thunder, back on June 17, well, …?”

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.” (I John 5:14 NIV)

Then I heard a voice from heaven saying to me, “Write: ‘Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on.’ ” “Yes,” says the Spirit, “that they may rest from their labors, and their works follow them.”(Revelation 14:13 NKJV)

















					


	





	

								
Admire the Tinsel – Crave the Ordinary
										

			19
			Monday
			Dec 2022
		

	
	

		

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And Mary said: “My soul magnifies the Lord,” 

Luke 1:46 NKJV





What delight I have in the average! The ordinary and mundane sparkle like a long ago memory hanging on the Christmas tree. Call me crazy, but I have always been comforted in a way, by the pauses I take to say to myself, “ok, this or that will turn out alright because I’m average; those rare things don’t happen to average folk”. As naive and unrealistic as it is, it has just been a thing I like to think, all my life. Interestingly, Mary the mother of Jesus, considered her lowly and ordinary existence a reason to praise God for the extraordinary! This post isn’t about Mary, but I dearly love the verse, and surrounding scripture showing us how humbly Mary magnified the Lord for her unique, one time ever, blessed experience. I believe Mary was relieved to find her ordinary self was just what God needed to work His wonder, and she did not feel pressured to be more.





Recently I have found my thoughts circling around the joy of ordinary. It’s a wonder I found my thoughts at all, but that is beside the point. The more abnormal, or out-of-the-ordinary things have become lately, the more I appreciate the mundane normal state of things. Ebb and flow, nice and easy, calm waters; yes, let me live there. I’m thinking we all put our own lives under the microscope occasionally to verify our own ills and isms. There we decide whether we are average or not. We see the tarnished tinsel, the interruptions, the rippled surfaces, but there is always, always, room to say, “wow, it could’ve been so much worse”. Or perhaps not, but I have not been in those rare life-altering situations where I really couldn’t say it. That, to me, is a comfort, and a blessing. Though I have not been so sheltered as to never know tragedy,  as an average person, it was not to be the end of me. 






Grandma Wilkins’ arrangement






Then there are the unusual times when ‘exciting, awesome, or amazing’ descriptors are needed for the days jazzed up with extra helpings of out-of-the-ordinary. Those are our aha moments; our fantastic experiences. We can all use more glitz and glitter – at times. But truthfully, at my age, it is quite tiring to plan and carry out those amazing times. A little bit goes a long way, and then I’m so ready for the usual and mundane. You know why we decorate so early now? It is because the few days of putting up a tree and wreaths and candles and snowmen and Santa Clauses requires a few weeks of recuperation before we can even think of taking it all back down again. I recall when our only Christmas decoration was the tree wrapped in lights, glass balls and silver icicles. It was really doodied up when Mama added an arrangement to the dining room table. Grandma and Grandpa put their little arrangement on the console television cabinet. Though it’s now dusty, dull and dinky, I still have it; a simply beautiful memory.





Surgeries, illness, utility calamities (even our appliances suffered from Covid in 2020-21) and other common, but unexpected bumps in the road are what keep us so incredibly thankful for the days of no incidence; the days of nothing to tell, nothing to sweat, nothing to tug a special plea to God on our own behalf. The best part of those times, is how much more I can focus on praying for all those around me who were not so fortunate as to have a mundane, dull day.





From an average family of five, with average incomes (eventually) and average education and abilities, I found the turbulent times bearable by the thought process I’ve explained above – that since I am average, this is all normal. Christmas would still come because I had an above average mother who made sure it did. Food would still be on the table because I was blessed with parents who had good work ethics. The wheels would roll, the lights would come on and the booboos would heal, regardless of the storms brewing. I’ve grown up now and realize none of that was average. Rather, it was so incredibly blessed that tears form as I think of how to adequately express it. 





This Christmas week I am thinking of all the children who find life so hard and cold that there is no normal, no average, no peaceful thinking. No warm beds, breakfast nor hands to gently wipe their tears. Dear God, take some of my average from my life and use it to soften those little souls.





A few weeks ago the news spoke of a child who had suffered in ways unmentionable, and all I could do was sit and sob for her. I do so now even, realizing hers is not the only case in our world. I do not intend this to be a depressing post, as there are more than enough seeds in the world already for planting heartache and feeling down. I suppose what I do want to relay, is how extremely satisfied we ought to be when we have a most usual, common day.  The gratitude and pleasure well up in me just to be able to look out the window at gifts of red Nandina berries and green wheat sitting dormant through the winter. As much as I want to understand depression and knowing it is very real, it is just beyond my average ability to grasp how one cannot look into God’s beautiful nature – both that of His workmanship and His person – and be lifted out of the darkness into the light of a beautiful ordinary day.










For the past several weeks, especially remembering last December and January,  I have struggled with worrisome thoughts myself, but for every discouraged feeling, there have come more amazing devotionals from God’s word, encouragement from friends and family, gifts of healing and hope for better tomorrows. When you are a child of the King (Lord Jesus); when you have super hero friends and family members; or when you have weeks on end of doing the same thing, seeming to roll one into another, count yourself way above average. It’s okay to tell yourself it’s all average, so you do not live in a bubble of expectation, thus the ups and downs do not burst your bubble; but never forget how special it is, and to be on-your-knees-thankful for the ordinary.







 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” 

James 1:17 NKJV





Have a blessed, ordinary, Merry Christmas! Love, Trisha

					


	





	

								
Daddy’s Little Ice Cream Buckets: My final “Daddy Story”
										

			20
			Saturday
			Aug 2022
		

	
	

		

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As Daddy felt his time slowly pulling into the station, he asked me to start writing down his memories and we called them our “Daddy Stories”. I did write, and had printed into a booklet for him, 15 stories most of which were his. This was after his sight had failed but in time for him to hear someone else read back his memories to him and I suppose, to feel like he would not be forgotten. The following I write today, to add to the end of my Daddy Stories, as I watch another garden season ride by.





Near the end of August the garden, like our own aging, grows old, mature, less productive in some ways, more so in others. There is for me, the temptation to begin clearing the disorganized rows again as the picking and canning slows, but the garden itself is still teeming with life. About this time I also shake my head and wonder how those little seeds and sprouts in so short a time, became all this wilderness of blooms among crowded lanes of overgrown vines; and how grass and weeds appear overnight. I love how the drooping sunflower heads draw a crowd of goldfinches and intricately designed butterflies flutter throughout the zinnia, okra and purple hull pea blossoms. This is also a time of reflection; on the ones who planted, picked and preserved gardens before me, teaching me the joy of the process. I wonder how many times I’ll get to do it all over again, and I’m glad I do not know.










For the last couple decades of my daddy’s life we had made amends and grown closer. In my memory that nearness began to grow out of our shared interest in gardening. Sometimes on sunny afternoons, I would drive the half hour or so to his farm to watch his hummingbirds and admire his garden. As life goes, he eventually grew too old to do the work himself and he and his wife, Ms. Wanda, moved to our town of Murray, Kentucky. Here, he was able to drive out often to see my gardens, give his much needed advice, and take an occasional basket of beans or peas home to break and shell for me. When I returned the visits to pick up the readied beans or peas, he had them packed into round plastic gallon pails he called his ‘little ice cream buckets”. He would say, “now don’t even think about returning that little bucket; I’ve got a dozen of ‘em”.  But I would bring them back filled with okra, hot peppers and tomatoes for their enjoyment, and get to hear another “Daddy Story”. Over the years, I did keep a few (a smarter person would have kept many) of the pails with lids, which proved to be just about the most useful thing you can own, next to a pocket knife.





I do not truly believe there is a lot of difference in taste from one vanilla ice cream to another. As long as it’s not one of those ‘low carb’ or ‘no sugar added’ or some such concoction pretending to be good ice cream, they’re all pretty much the same to me. But daddy always, and I mean always, bought the “Dippin’ Kind” or, if that wasn’t available, Prairie Farms, which interestingly enough, also had to be in a round plastic pail. Once during the Covid isolation I called from Kroger reporting I could not find a plastic pail of vanilla ice cream, so was there another brand I could bring, to which he said, “No, I think they’ll have it over here at Food Giant”. Daddy did not have a particularly scrutinizing taste, but he did grow up in a time when everything that could possibly be reused, did. I am 100 percent sure he bought the Dippin’ Kind strictly for the plastic pail. There’s no telling how many uses we have found for those little buckets. 





I am down to only one of his little ice cream buckets with a lid, because  I’ve “used the far out of ‘em” as he’d say. As I washed it today, I was overtaken by emotion in thinking of the end of good things; like multipurpose little plastic pails, old men with softened hearts that want to be forgiven, and time…time for hugs and forgiveness. 





We learn as we go; it is the only way. While my amazing mother instilled in me the love for growing flowers and the satisfaction of a pantry lined with gleaming jars of canned tomatoes, beans, pickles, jellies and relishes, it was daddy’s love of growing and tending the garden, which I seem to have inherited as well. From them both, however, I learned to put the past behind, to fill my pails with love, close the lid on bad memories and plant the good ones; to be at peace. 





As long as God thinks I need to, and daddy’s little plastic bucket lasts, I’ll keep wagging it and my grandpa’s half-bushel basket to the garden to watch in amazement the whole God-inspired process of decaying seeds becoming fabulous food.  I’ll keep picking pails of peppers and okra, cucumbers and tomatoes, and pouring up shelled peas to keep for freezing and dropping broken green beans into it to guesstimate a full canner. 





Satan plants weeds from bad memories in effort to tarnish and destroy and make us bitter. I’m going to keep carrying those in my little plastic bucket straight to the garbage; then wash and rinse the bucket to hold the good scraps I take to the compost can, where they will eventually give rise to new generations of beauty. 





Life can leave you buckets of blessings and pails of problems for which we each will decide a purpose, and whether or not to make good use of them. I’ve filled my buckets hundreds of times over with useful as well as useless stuff; soapy water and a good scrap of terrycloth towel, cut flowers, fishing worms, good veggies and bad veggies, canning lids and rings, and packets of seed in the freezer to plant another year; scraps of iron and chain and rocks I‘ll never use; popcorn, pecans and grilling supplies; and I’m sure that doesn’t even get near the number of uses Daddy found for his ice cream buckets. I treasure the ‘late summer garden’ time of his life when he was less productive in some things and more so in others, with stories to tell, and little ice cream buckets of wisdom and love to share with his children.





“To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck what is planted.” Ecclesiastes 3:1-2

					


	





	

								
The Rifle Shell
										

			23
			Wednesday
			Mar 2022
		

	
	

		

			Posted  by  in Family, Reflections		

		

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“This is my commandment that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” John 15:12-13





In this first hour of March 23, 2022, I find no sleep so I may as well write. It would be my brother’s sixtieth birthday, the first since his passing. I suppose I will always feel protective of his memory just as I feel I should have been protective of him in childhood. I’ve written the following in observation of his birthday, and in honor of his proudest moments. If it sounds sad, it’s because I am sad he left so soon. Life can be sad, but life is still good, and he’d be the one to say, “Oh well…”.





THE RIFLE SHELL





A VFW gun salute shakes the silence of the air, 





and over the flag covered casket is said a final prayer. 





Lil’ Brother, a dad, a friend laid to rest 





wearing his dress blues, the sun in the west. 





Memories fill our hearts and flood our eyes 





as the shots ring toward the cold blue sky. 





A brass shell casing picked up from the ground 





has a design inside where six points can be found. 





I see one point for the courage to say “I will” 





and one for the sacrifice because the risk is real. 





One point stands for loyalty to country and brother, 





and one for humility, heroes they claim, is someone other. 





One point is for pain, in body and mind 





as they endure training and leave home behind. 





The last point, for loneliness, though in a sea of the same – 





where all wear proudly a common name – 





yet all left all familiar to them alone. And now once again he travels on.





Heroes don’t always die in active duty. They may bring home a scarred heart and torn life they die trying to paste back together again. Still others survive to live out a full and beautiful life, and become someone else’s hero. Thank you to Mark and all service men and women for your courage, sacrifice and loyalty to country and each other. I am sorry for the pain and loneliness you felt, and the humility with which you carried it all.  Even though Mark isn’t here, I couldn’t let his “big six-o” go by without a special “Happy Birthday”.  Love, Sis






					


	





	

								
Taking Down The Tree – In Retrospect
										

			22
			Saturday
			Jan 2022
		

	
	

		

			Posted  by  in Life, Reflections		

		

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January 22, 2022:  





First, a very happy birthday today to my 12 year old niece Isabella Claire, who has been a ray of sunshine in my life!  The sun as well, is a beautiful gift from God today and I’m looking to it to continue healing. I am tired of feeling and looking like a slug; sick of taking care of only our household and not being able to reach out to others. Most thankful today for warm homes, drive-thru windows, and good medicine, I hope the Covid fog is about to lift.





The day I wrote the following was a good day, with a cherished visit from my brother’s daughter Sara and her toddlers as well as my sister and  her young grandsons. The kids laughed and ran about so cute, having a ball, and the three of us, aunts and niece, had a good and much needed visit. The following day brought a new sadness to our family and one through which I am still processing via pen and paper. The events of the week hindered my tree-taking-down until the following Saturday afternoon; but the rest of my holiday decorations remain gathering dust, awaiting a time of wiping down and wrapping up. Snowmen stand smiling as if nothing changed; a small group of old world Santas seem oblivious to the calendar and uneaten candies have lost their taste for me. No longer fresh greenery shatters each time I pass it. In retrospect, I may reconsider the ‘bad luck’ in leaving a tree standing through the new year; not really sure.





Events of the past few weeks have left my mind and body craving newness but Covid is still pulling the reins on my strength, and sadness of my brother’s passing shadows my writing. In weak effort to pick back up and rejoin life, I am publishing this January 4 writing as I planned to do on that sweet morning.





January 4, 2022:  Taking Down The Tree: Times of Tradition





We never used to leave the Christmas tree up into the new year. Mama said it was bad luck to have it up on New Years Day, but I doubt she believed it because she wasn’t normally a superstitious person.  I realize now she simply needed it out of the way before getting back into her usual busy work week. I carry most of her traditions leading up to Christmas Day, which leaves me too tired to take it all down the week after, when I finally get to relax and enjoy it. (How DID she do it?) This year I’m really dragging it out because I am expecting company today who didn’t get to be with us on the 25th. I want her littles to get their gifts from under the tree. As I look upon the ornaments, dreading the process of taking it down, there’s one front and center taking me down memory lane so far I lost track of time.





Walking down the aisle of Kroger December 2009, I saw a rustic red wooden star with a fat little snowman painted in the center. Two points of the star were longer than the others, and they reached right into my heart. I stood holding it, sobbing, there in the middle of the grocery, thinking, “this – this very ornament is exactly what Mama would have given me this year” – I just knew it. Never before had I bought an ornament in the grocery, nor had I seen one I thought would have been given to me. But this one. This one was going home with me and now, Christmas 2021, it still adorns my tree and I can smile instead of cry.





I remember crying as I pushed my cart through Kroger a couple, maybe four or five times, I don’t know, I lost count actually that summer and autumn following her passing. I stand wondering this year, why. What about the grocery did that to me? Standing here today looking at my star, I just figured it out. For my entire childhood, from  before I could remember, Mama and I did the grocery shopping together on Saturdays. That stopped of course after I married, but even then, if I dropped by on Saturday and she was gone, I knew I could find her at Owen’s Food Market, or the beauty shop. 





Mama enjoyed recalling the times when I was a toddler, we would go ‘bumming’ on Saturday. We’d go to a dime store soda fountain in Cleveland, Ohio where she would lift me to a stool and we would share an ice cream soda. Afterwards, we’d get her shopping done. Her only day off for years was Saturday afternoon so the tradition continued, as two more children came along and we all four traipsed the aisles of Johnson’s Grocery in Murray, KY Saturday after Saturday. She bought ice cream and cokes for us to have a Saturday night treat, and I also recall getting to pick out a Little Golden Book for us on many of those trips. 





Mama depended on credit in those days, so she remained loyal to one grocer at a time. When Mr. Johnson closed, she continued the tradition at Mr. Owen’s. They knew she would pay as soon as she could – and that’s as good a tradition as anyone needs – a good name.( “A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, Loving favor rather than silver and gold.”  Proverbs 22:1 NKJV. ) Holding my star, I know she was the star of our Saturdays, our Christmases, and many of our traditions. I’m glad I broke the one about taking down the tree on new year’s eve. Otherwise I  wouldn’t have had the pondering time today, leading me on the grocery cart ride as I figured out twelve years later why I felt such loss in the aisle, and why I latched onto my Christmas star. May you find your own beautiful stars living in the traditions and memories of love. Trisha





Colt and Jameson 1-4-22










Isabella Claire, ruthless opponent! 1-1-22






					


	





	

								
If I Were A Christmas Tree…
										

			24
			Friday
			Dec 2021
		

	
	

		

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“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” James 1:17 (NKJV)





It is Christmas Eve morning, predawn, as I sip coffee in the glow of our Christmas tree.  I wonder, will I get it all done in time to make more happy memories for my loved ones. Menus are ready for ingredients I’ve stowed away for weeks and I’m getting the usual anticipation jitters that I’ve forgotten something. There’s baking, arranging and cleaning to be done, but for now the house is quiet with sleep except for the snoring of my little lap dog. A star-lit sky is about to welcome dawn, and as I gaze upon our tree ornaments, I recognize the beauty of reflection. 





A decorated tree is pretty by daylight, but the magic happens when the little white lights are glowing, and there in the dark, each ornament twinkles with life. They reflect memories of love and fun. In the stillness, my tree reflects the joys I received from each person who’s given these keepsakes. A mama bear reads to her baby bear by the tree lamp’s glow as she has since 1999. Thirteen little Hallmark ornaments are as happy as the day I received each one a year at a time, and I remember the precious little girl, and her mom who brought them to my door each year. My little clothespin ponies have shiny faces reflecting the love with which they were sent from West Virginia. Many snowmen from friends and family are dazzling as they dance in the lights and I reflect on the occasions and names of each one given. Flying cardinals and sitting cardinals reflect my mother’s love as well as that of those who’ve added to the collection, and the love they learned from her. Glass orbs with meaningful words twinkle and never grow old.





If I were a Christmas tree, would I reflect the true light, the Giver of all good and perfect gifts? Would God’s love, as He sent His Word to become the flesh and blood baby Jesus, glow in my life? Would I shine with the love Christ demonstrated for us as He gave the ultimate gift? If I were a Christmas tree, would I make others happy?





I’m sure the history of the Christmas tree is interesting, but honestly we don’t care. What it is to me, as it was to my parents, for as long as I can remember, is a place to store gifts we give each other. Most importantly, it is where the adornments of our Christmases are displayed; a first, someone’s last, treasured gifts, fond vacation memories, favorite things…all reflecting happy times and warming our hearts. 





One of the first things I thought of in the wake of December’s rare tornado, was so many would have had their own ornaments out, vulnerable to destruction, and my heart ached for them. Life IS vulnerable; treasure it. My prayer for those folks is they are able to hold the happy memories in their hearts and keep making new ones.





Merry Christmas! In the midst of all life’s common and uncommon difficulties, may you make many warm memories – ones that reflect the joys in your life and entice others to seek the joy of the true Light.





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