Tag Archives: gratitude

The Rifle Shell

23 Wednesday Mar 2022

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“This is my commandment that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” John 15:12-13

In this first hour of March 23, 2022, I find no sleep so I may as well write. It would be my brother’s sixtieth birthday, the first since his passing. I suppose I will always feel protective of his memory just as I feel I should have been protective of him in childhood. I’ve written the following in observation of his birthday, and in honor of his proudest moments. If it sounds sad, it’s because I am sad he left so soon. Life can be sad, but life is still good, and he’d be the one to say, “Oh well…”.

THE RIFLE SHELL

A VFW gun salute shakes the silence of the air,

and over the flag covered casket is said a final prayer.

Lil’ Brother, a dad, a friend laid to rest

wearing his dress blues, the sun in the west.

Memories fill our hearts and flood our eyes

as the shots ring toward the cold blue sky.

A brass shell casing picked up from the ground

has a design inside where six points can be found.

I see one point for the courage to say “I will”

and one for the sacrifice because the risk is real.

One point stands for loyalty to country and brother,

and one for humility, heroes they claim, is someone other.

One point is for pain, in body and mind

as they endure training and leave home behind.

The last point, for loneliness, though in a sea of the same –

where all wear proudly a common name –

yet all left all familiar to them alone. And now once again he travels on.

Heroes don’t always die in active duty. They may bring home a scarred heart and torn life they die trying to paste back together again. Still others survive to live out a full and beautiful life, and become someone else’s hero. Thank you to Mark and all service men and women for your courage, sacrifice and loyalty to country and each other. I am sorry for the pain and loneliness you felt, and the humility with which you carried it all. Even though Mark isn’t here, I couldn’t let his “big six-o” go by without a special “Happy Birthday”. Love, Sis

Winter ‘Dull-drums’

29 Saturday Jan 2022

Posted by in Life, Through my window

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The scul-uff, scul-uff, scul-uff of my house shoes is getting on my nerves, as is the beyond dry condition of my skin and hair. I am dulled by naps and headaches and ridiculous television shows, and so tired of trying to focus my eyes for anything useful. Winter doldrums are not my normal; but then what has been normal for the past couple years? Now that I am feeling ornery enough to complain, I do see light at the end of the tunnel. The Covid ‘fog’ is lifting; also the aura that surrounds the loss of a loved one is finding its place a few paces away from the immediate needs of everyday living. And for every complaint I have just uttered, I enjoy a dozen blessings. So the good does not nullify the bad, it just makes it easier to bear. The blessings do not blind us to the ills; the ills illuminate the blessings.

I rise up in the morning, thanking God the sunrise did not get lost; that I can see, and walk and hear, and feel the freezing air and the warm house. I thank God for everything from hot coffee to holly berries. I thank Him for the time we have had with loved ones; brief or extended, the time is a gift. I’ve spoken gratitude for modern medicine and vaccine and those who act out of compassion, or just passion, to accomplish better lives for us all. From dear friends to my fur baby, from my husband to my children to the sister my husband loves to taunt, our people are a blessing!

I complained this morning about a hawk who has just about left us without song birds, and watching those birds was my favorite winter pastime. A couple hours later a beautiful pair of cardinals visited the bird feeder. What a gift! I wouldn’t have appreciated this treat quite as much if not for the gap of time our feeders have sat lonely.

When your heart aches, or your earth quakes, consider the opposite. Likely there is something in contrast for which you have been thankful; something to hope for and plan simply because you are alive. The lonely times are real, and I hope brief. Soon life rekindles and revisits and the birds will return to the feeder.

“ Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?” (Matthew 6:26 NKJV)

If I Were A Christmas Tree…

24 Friday Dec 2021

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“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” James 1:17 (NKJV)

It is Christmas Eve morning, predawn, as I sip coffee in the glow of our Christmas tree. I wonder, will I get it all done in time to make more happy memories for my loved ones. Menus are ready for ingredients I’ve stowed away for weeks and I’m getting the usual anticipation jitters that I’ve forgotten something. There’s baking, arranging and cleaning to be done, but for now the house is quiet with sleep except for the snoring of my little lap dog. A star-lit sky is about to welcome dawn, and as I gaze upon our tree ornaments, I recognize the beauty of reflection.

A decorated tree is pretty by daylight, but the magic happens when the little white lights are glowing, and there in the dark, each ornament twinkles with life. They reflect memories of love and fun. In the stillness, my tree reflects the joys I received from each person who’s given these keepsakes. A mama bear reads to her baby bear by the tree lamp’s glow as she has since 1999. Thirteen little Hallmark ornaments are as happy as the day I received each one a year at a time, and I remember the precious little girl, and her mom who brought them to my door each year. My little clothespin ponies have shiny faces reflecting the love with which they were sent from West Virginia. Many snowmen from friends and family are dazzling as they dance in the lights and I reflect on the occasions and names of each one given. Flying cardinals and sitting cardinals reflect my mother’s love as well as that of those who’ve added to the collection, and the love they learned from her. Glass orbs with meaningful words twinkle and never grow old.

If I were a Christmas tree, would I reflect the true light, the Giver of all good and perfect gifts? Would God’s love, as He sent His Word to become the flesh and blood baby Jesus, glow in my life? Would I shine with the love Christ demonstrated for us as He gave the ultimate gift? If I were a Christmas tree, would I make others happy?

I’m sure the history of the Christmas tree is interesting, but honestly we don’t care. What it is to me, as it was to my parents, for as long as I can remember, is a place to store gifts we give each other. Most importantly, it is where the adornments of our Christmases are displayed; a first, someone’s last, treasured gifts, fond vacation memories, favorite things…all reflecting happy times and warming our hearts.

One of the first things I thought of in the wake of December’s rare tornado, was so many would have had their own ornaments out, vulnerable to destruction, and my heart ached for them. Life IS vulnerable; treasure it. My prayer for those folks is they are able to hold the happy memories in their hearts and keep making new ones.

Merry Christmas! In the midst of all life’s common and uncommon difficulties, may you make many warm memories – ones that reflect the joys in your life and entice others to seek the joy of the true Light.

I

His Mercy Endures Forever. For. Ever.

06 Saturday Feb 2021

Posted by in Encouragement, Through my window

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Good Saturday morning to you! My choice in devotion this morning took me again to Mornings With the Holy Spirit where the suggested reading came from Psalm 136. Though I read this before, and even in class heard it discussed, never had the Psalmist’s intentional emphasis on mercy fallen on my heart quite like it did today. Perhaps the numerous changes in 2020 along with my season of life, have widened my vision and begun to open the window of understanding. Or maybe it was the morning’s glow over the red and burgundy Nandina outside my window and a matching purple finch. You choose.

We’re told the book of Psalms was written to sing praises in the temple of worship. Consider our modern hymnals; the stanzas and chorus. With no musical training, even I can see the emphasis of each song is carried in the chorus, where the theme of each hymn is worded. Psalm 136 was explained to be one in which one voice would read or sing a characteristic of God, followed by the congregation in unison singing out, “for His mercy endures forever”. For example, “To Him who divided the Red Sea in two” (give thanks); why, “for His mercy endures forever” (verse 13). The song of Psalm 136 is give thanks to God for His infinite goodness, wisdom, strength, creativity, and deliverance. The theme then is mercy, as each line of God’s work in our lives is followed by a reason for thanking Him – His mercy.

There is a painting in my kitchen I fell in love with a few years ago and it says, “In all of my life in every season you are still God”. It strikes me today with Psalm 136 in my hands, how God’s mercy is what allows me to witness and bask in the goodness of God. He would forever be good anyway, without us. If He had destroyed the earth including Noah and all human life, knowing we’d never get it together, He would still be the creative force, the wisdom beyond our comprehension, the eternal light because in Him is no darkness. Without taking away a single speck of credit to all God’s amazing infinite glory, can we not say it is His mercy which kept us here to witness it? Why? For His mercy endures forever.

Scripture tells us nothing can separate us from the love of God…”neither death nor life…shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39) Gratitude streams down my face for the blessing of knowing my loved ones are still under the mercy of God, even in the grave. Never has it been so clear to me that death is not final, in the spiritual sense. Yes it is the final leg of our earthly journey; but we are so much more. “Those who sat in darkness and in the shadow of death, bound in affliction and irons – …Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and He saved them out of their distresses…and broke their chains in pieces.” (Psalm 107: 10-14) Helen’s absence of mind in the darkness of Alzheimers; Daddy’s darkness of depression; Mama’s loss of her body in Myasthenia Gravis; all are overcome by the strength and power in Christ. God broke their chains. Set them free. This life does not win. Even the glorious blessings of this life will not last forever, but His mercy endures FOREVER.

If you live long enough you will gather regrets, face challenges that make you wonder, and become someone who craves the gift of mercy. That’s life. Place it in Christ Jesus, where the immeasurable love of God is revealed day by day. For His mercy endures forever.

“Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever. Oh give thanks to the God of gods! For His mercy endures forever. To Him who alone does great wonders…who by wisdom made the heavens,…who laid out the earth above the waters…Who remembered us in our lowly state, For His mercy endures forever;” (Psalm 136:1-2, 4-6, 23)

Thank you Father for your goodness: your creation, your redemptive power in Christ, and for my life. Thank you for your merciful heart allowing me to see it, receive it and be in it. In Jesus’ name, Amen

Dear Mama

10 Sunday May 2020

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Another Mother’s Day has arrived; the sun envelopes the morning, whose stillness is only broken by the song of birds. “This is the day that the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it!” (Psalm 118:24)  Of all the blessings God has given me, you, dear Mama, are at the top of my favorites list, just behind Jesus and that is exactly as you would have it, for He made all this possible. No, you couldn’t walk on water, but there was a time in my life when I just about thought you could! Thank you for instilling in me a faith in God, by keeping it alive at a level young eyes could see, at a depth mature eyes can reach.  “Her children rise up and call her blessed…” (Proverbs 31:28a) And through her, they learn to see Him.

I had a surprise visit from my sister last evening, ending the day with good memories, and looking forward to today without feeling “socially distanced” at all. Before turning out the light, I wanted to tell Mama about our visit.

Dear Mama, Thank you for bringing home a little sister to me back in 1958. For the first 15 years I only saw our differences and it must have been hard for you to wait. Knowing we were cut from the same pattern, but of different pieces of cloth; you knew we’d figure it out and find the sister in each of our hearts. We still sit and talk about you like you  never went away, and come to think about it, you’re more present everyday. You’re woven through the tapestry of our lives, I know it’s true, for the things you cared so much about, I find living with us too. Your expressions and excitement live on in your second child; and your passion for teaching, your quick wit and smile. What she sees of you in me, I really couldn’t say, but I see you in the mirror every single day! Your love for birds and flowers, gardens and sweets – we share those too. A little wren sings every morning – I think she sings of you. Our hearts first beat beneath your own; three hearts you birthed and took us home. Protected, encouraged, pampered us all, and covered life’s booboos with laughter. Thank you for putting so much of yourself into us, that we would find some part of you in each other, ever after. Love, Trisha

To those boys and girls who did not find your life so encased in a mother’s love and guidance as I did, I pray you will find in your memory the hands and face of someone who did work that magic of training up a child, of holding your hand and being a mom-figure for you. May I assure you also, that you had another. Though you may not have known, my mother tried to be the best friend, teacher and guide to you, to all children, young and old, as she could be. So many faces and names come before me now who were in Mama’s heart and prayers.

Happy Mother’s Day to all women who have carried the thought of another within their heart.

 

It’s Gone Viral!

22 Sunday Mar 2020

Posted by in The unexpected

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Someone said, “Well we were praying for our nation’s leaders to stop arguing and do something useful” and “we wanted world powers to work together in peace”.  A thought many have expressed is, perhaps God is answering those very prayers by working good out of bad. We are finding time to spend with immediate family that we all too often put off doing. I dare say more have been turning to God lately in prayer than ever. I was sent a virtual hug in Messenger this morning just after I was telling my children that a hug is the first thing I want when all this is over. Those are just a few little ripples from the “This” that’s is so world wide, so fluid in today’s lingo, that I am sure I don’t even have to explain. Covid-19 is famous; a virus gone viral. (Groan) That is, no doubt, a pun that has been grossly overused the past few weeks.

In our home, we’ve adjusted by use of a home haircut; cooking new things and some old favorites to keep it interesting; daily phone calls to Dad and our adult children just to sure they’re OK. We’ve wiped down, locked up and pondered over. We have prayed more, loved much and started our own tomato and cabbage seed pods. We have reassured ourselves in God’s Word that this too shall pass; and if it doesn’t, God is still Lord of our lives.

We’ve sure seen some unexpected ‘firsts’ for our 21st century, like empty grocery shelves with no impending storms; medical appointments being rescheduled for their patients’ safety; NCAA tournament cancelled (way worse than empty store shelves to my kids and me!) Also there have been alterations in how we do what we can still do, such as exchanging boxed meals for empty tables at Soup For The Soul, where people once met for sit-down meals; no indoor dining in restaurants, with take-out or delivery only; elbow bumping instead of hand shakes, and now keeping six feet apart instead of the elbow bumping. Distancing from others and hoarding necessities sound like subjects for a sermon on selfishness instead of survival. But the one change that has me distressed is the absence of public worship. For the first time in my life, and even most likely in my parents’ lives, there was no public assembly to attend today. I have so many thoughts on that, that I cannot even put them all into one post; plus I would lose you dear reader in the dust of a lengthy one-gal-opinion thesis.  With a former career in nursing, I certainly understand the wisdom in blocking transmission; but it makes me sad. I cannot help wondering what God thinks of it. Hang with me now – I make no judgements either way; I am just processing thoughts.  The scriptures on assembling and fear, such as Hebrews 10:24-25, Psalm 27:1 and Matthew 10:28 come to mind as clearly as the verses on grace, mercy and Matthew 12:3-8. I especially needed to be reminded of the last one. God is looking for the heart, not the house; fulfilling needs, not a law. It has been good for me to meditate on these things, realizing how much I depend on organized religion to do my part in my own Christian responsibility.

Thank you elders, for providing the means to see and hear lessons from God’s Word from home. Thank you preachers for the diligence in study and presenting those lessons. Thank you to my brother-in-law for remembering the Lord’s Supper components for communion at home.  But I already miss my church family. I miss the organized song and prayer service. I miss the freshness of children’s faces and the preacher’s bow tie. I miss passing gum to the pew behind me. I miss the satisfaction after worship time that I see on my husbands’s face; a peace that he never got to have as a youngster. Thank you Father God for the opportunities all my life for worshipping freely and abundantly; and for this opportunity to see what it might be like if that were taken from me.

After fighting a virus, the body can become stronger, gaining more resistance to infection and earning itself new immunities. I pray that God will guide us safely through to shut this virus down, and find a cure or immunization against Covid-19. May we use this time to “go viral” with similar qualities at heart – strength, resilience and the capacity to find new blessings every day. Wash your hands!

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28 NKJV)

Speaking Of Jesus…

18 Wednesday Mar 2020

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Another cold Kentucky rain; more rain then we can welcome over the past few weeks; months actually. But the land isn’t barren, nor parched. There are blessings in showers. And our house is dry, warm and comfortable. I thank God.

I didn’t want to start another day hearing more news of COVID-19, nor of storms gathering; nor of nations deceiving one another. I just wanted to cook breakfast with a peaceful joy. In all the sorrows and fears among the people today, you may feel as helpless as I in changing any of the chaos. Though my devotion time would come after breakfast, I felt an uneasiness, kind of like a shadow over me that I needed to shake. I think it is knowing our weekly bible study as a group, to do our part in trying to shut down transmission of the disease, will not be meeting. There is also the ‘dis-ease’ of having our schedules interrupted, and feeling the uncertainties of living with a new enemy in our country. There is the ‘dis-ease’ of knowing there will be repercussions in the economy we have not experienced before. It is scary. It is worrisome. Needing a light to draw me out of the growing darkness until I could open God’s lamp of the Word, I asked our kitchen resident, Hey Google, to play some praise music.

God cared for my distress in a beautiful way. The first song of praise Google played for me this morning is called I Speak Jesus by Here Be Lions. I had never heard of the artist nor the song. But I am so thankful for this wonderful moment of praise as I cooked our breakfast. I later looked up the lyrics on my laptop and played the song over two more times, sang along and was reminded of the power over chaos, that lives in Jesus. And I thanked God; for music, for praise and for hope.

Yes, there is an all-knowing Power over fear; an ever-present healing over illness; an ever-loving Life over this lowly life. His name is Jesus. “Your name is Power, your name is healing, your name is life…break every stronghold, shine through the shadows, burn like a fire” (chorus of the song).

I urge you to Google, or You-tube, or find in whatever manner suits you, the song “I Speak Jesus”. It is amazing!!

“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13 (NKJV)

Roses Are Red, Pansies Are Yellow; I Get to Do Life With a Mighty Fine Fellow.

14 Friday Feb 2020

Posted by in Family, Life, The unexpected

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Valentine’s Day at 46 years of marriage looks a great deal different from those first few years and before. Today went like this, at 8 AM:

  • G: “Aww, you got me again!”
  • Me: “Well it’s just a card, and you asked me so many times what I wanted, how could I forget?”
  • G: “Well you said ‘I don’t want anything’ “.
  • Me: “I said I didn’t want you spending on stuff I can’t keep and if you brought candy, I’d crown you with it!”
  • G: “I’m sorry.”
  • Me: “You have nothing to be sorry about; you always go overboard on Christmas and gave me my valentine, birthday, Christmas and Mother’s Day gifts at one time. So hush.”

Out for breakfast, back home, took my doggie out and back in to find hubby, feet up in his recliner. I thought, no way can I listen to another episode of Gunsmoke! So, off to a nap. I have the luxury of that today, which is better than a whole truckload of gifts. Fast forward, post-nap, house is empty, sun is shining, I’m feeling pretty good, planning a little supper hubby will like – by the way, where is he?

Three PM, door bell rings. There stands G., holding a single red rose in a lovely vase of greenery, and said “delivery for my girlfriend.”  Zing! Boom!

You just can’t teach an old dog new tricks. Suddenly I remembered that I had started a blog post a few years back, Old Roses and Whine; I don’t think I ever finished it. In it I mention that I have a jar full of old rose petals from occasions I have forgotten. The point being that it is the intent of the heart that matters when it comes to men; not the timing, nor the gift; the heart.

Forty years ago I’d have thought the setting of the sun depended on my getting a valentine or not. It did not; and I did not. Watching all those sun ups and sun downs for forty plus years was the real gift! Those years taught me that the heart expecting something is nowhere near as happy as the heart that does not expect, but is grateful for what already is.

When the center of your heart belongs to God, and you already have Him, the rest is just fluff. Really nice fluff, for sure, but still just fluff.

 

 

December 27, 2019 THE AFTERGLOW

29 Sunday Dec 2019

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Morning sun has turned to overcast skies. The dishwasher consumes the remains of another meal made from our Christmas Day dinner. I sit down with my forgotten friend to type out my thoughts which come and go as quickly as the holiday activities. I have a mug of warmed wassail with a serving of cream cheese and habanero pepper jelly on Nut-thins. The pepper jelly was one of many gifts brought in this week by loved ones, and reminds me that though they have gone on their ways, their sweet presence and memories stayed on to warm me through my winter days.

As if six nights and days were not a more than generous sharing of her time, I may have tried to guilt our daughter into staying just one more night…to do one more day of leisure, or shop, or nothing…just to revel in the blessing of family. Though our son had just driven out to help us delete some of the many leftovers, visited and saw his sister off, I still tried bribing him to come back out and spend Friday evening with games and appetizers…oh the tactics of a mother about to be left in the wake of a blessed and busy Christmas week!

The house is quiet, Auggie wants a nap, husband is back to routine business, and the forgotten Christmas pickle hangs on a new limb of the tree. 20191227_093757
An over-looked trash bag stuffed with torn wrapping paper hangs from the back of a rocking chair, and the refrigerator bulges yet with left-overs! I have a closet full of gifts to sort and put away for husband and me; granddog hair to vacuum and bedding to change. There is a lonely glow of the tree lights reflected on the floor now uncovered and bare where there were piled gifts of love and generosity from and to our family and friends. A similar glow is in my heart reflecting the precious smiles of great-nieces and nephews, img_0444

the shrieks of laughter as we played Santa Auction among the adults and the contented sighs after the meal; a meal that followed my brother-in-law’s prayer of gratitude for bountiful blessings and family time, and mostly for the Christ child whom we try to honor as we give, and serve, and love, and pray and encourage one another.

Before I know it, the ground will be warming and planting season will be here from which I will hope to reap fresh produce and see productive crops for our farmers. Likewise, may the good deeds done and the love given this season, reap much happiness and closer ties that last the whole year through.

Come to think of it, Auggie has the right idea – it is about time for a nap! Until next Christmas season, I ask Father God to bless our home, community and country with the peace that I feel down deep in my soul at this time. I will be praying especially for those who did not have all their family with them, and for those who, sadly, feel far from prayer.  Bless the name of God, the giver of all perfect gifts, the Father of Light as we rest in Him to bear our disappointments and pain; knowing that His balm and peace are eternal, and perfect.

Have a truly happy, healthy and peaceful new year!

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”  James 1:17

Butterflies and Stinkbugs

29 Monday Jul 2019

Posted by in inspiration, MONDAY MUSINGS

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“To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.” Audrey Hepburn

20190729_124142As you may guess from the title, I’ve been to the garden this morning. Inspired by the quiet,  I sang “I Must Tell Jesus”, and let the burdens of my heart roll on down the bean rows. If you’re a gardener I’ll bet you wonder as you pick, ‘now who would like a few of these’, or ‘where can I share those?” Sharing is the BEST product of a garden. Today I choose to share more than the produce.

Holding my little basket of cucumbers and peppers, I turned to be sure I’d covered all the dabs of this and that still producing. As I stood there admiring the large yellow and blue butterfly sipping at the zinnia tips, another motion grabbed my attention – a hummingbird had darted in for a share of the goodness. Also hovering there, was a large bumble bee, all three being in the same square foot of zinnia blooms. You know if that butterfly and bee had been other hummingbirds, there’d have been a chasing and rooting each other out. I’ve never understood why they do that. Sunday morning my husband and I watched a show many of you have also seen: a male with his ruby throat glowing, guard one porch feeder from his perch inside the cherry tree. As soon as another hummer headed for the feeder, he zoomed in and intercepted. Over and over the same greedy race went on, (I only suppose it’s greed, since I don’t really know what his purpose was) until we left the show to get ready for church.

Back to this morning – as I was looking around, I also noticed two big very ugly crusty critters on a sunflower stem. With shields for backs and long legs gripping the stem, they looked offensive, and after I squished them, the odor was even more so. I got to thinking about that small garden being its own community. Like our communities, you get all kinds living there. There are the lady bugs that go about keeping house throughout the plants. A host of insects feed the beautiful birds that drop by. There are blossoms full of nectar for nourishing the bees, birds and butterflies. My pretty squash plants succumbed to a nasty bug no bigger than the size of a grain of black pepper, crawling inside the stems. The good, the bad, the lovely and the ugly; all living together. Which one am I, is what I have to ask myself.  Am I a stink bug, a kill joy, eating up all I can for myself? Am I a butterfly flitting about spreading joy; or a tomato or bean plant blooming to give good things to others? Is my life in any way a sweet aroma to my God? Am I willing to reach out, to share what I’ve been blessed with in my seasons of plenty? “I know that nothing is better for them than to rejoice, and to do good in their lives”, (Ecclesiastes 3:12 NKJV)

I went to the garden and sang for strength (“And the Lord made His people very fruitful and made them stronger than their foes.” Psalm 105:24); I prayed for the Murdock family to be comforted (“This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life”. Psalm 119:50); I praised God for all these gifts and more. I came back from the garden a little stronger, a little more encouraged, and content. I wish these things for you, friends, as your week unfolds.

“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32