Orange, pink and lavender streaks filled my rear view mirror as I drove away from the heartbreak I had been both dreading and denying would come to be. Having just left a loved one who came into my life at the age of nearly nine, we had parted sobbing as I bent to hug him in his wheelchair. Due to the Covid 19 precautions I was not allowed to see him to his new world; a room in a building of strangers to whom we would be entrusting his healthcare as he struggles to rehabilitate his legs to function once again. Wearing his Wranglers, a UK Cats t-shirt and his farmer’s cap he was wheeled into the unknown. From outside, I could only make out reflections and shadows within as I drove away wondering how such great changes can envelope us in a very short long time

The reasons and excuses for why we do what we do, regardless of the expected consequences, are not the focus of my heart when a loved one faces dire straits. The fiery pain within the hearts of grief and guilt are equally shared when love is there. I do not have to understand why in order to feel heartbroken over the loss of independence, dignity and self-confidence. Anger is replaced by sympathy. Frustration is replaced by compassion. Youth is replaced by the effects of living, however that living is done. Good or bad, we age; some better than others. But when the clouds clear away after all the storms of life, there will be the sunset. As surely as we draw one breath after another, the sun will rise and the sun will go down. There is the hope of another day; a better day.

The beauty of the glow in my mirror that evening hushed my crying. I was reminded that God is forever the same; regardless of how we thrive or how we mess it all up, He is eternally good, present and loving. Loving in a way I cannot comprehend, my Lord Jesus Christ is true and just and will judge everyone by the same standard – that standard being a love immensely great and compassionate. I, on the other hand tend to be critical, harsh against the things I want changed in the lives around me, and picky to the point of distraction. Lord help me. Without kindness and patience how can our love be known? Those are the least we can do. Pray, yes. Plead, yes if need be. Petition for help, certainly. But above all, love. Be kind. Be fruitful. Let your loved ones know how important they are while you still can. We never know when we might leave them in the sunset.

“Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. Love suffers long and is kind, love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” (I Corinthians 13:1-8a)